Best Barman Poems

Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate was a very evil man,
He used to eat his dinner from a filthy frying pan,
And when he’s finished eating he’d play...

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Wee Luck McGee, came into the pub
And the Barman started pouring a beer
"No Tanks for me, a martini you see
Is what you'll be serving right...

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Five rings for fifty-one again and once more winning brings,
another pot of loser’s beer for throwing rubber rings.
That’s twenty-seven ‘freebies’ in a row, so by...

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In Sandy on a Sund’y
Can’t even buy a pie
The High Street is a ghost town
From some Kafkaesque sci-fi.
Not a single caf is open
No point in...

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Blue diaphane, tobacco smoke
 Serpentine on wet film and wood glaze,
 Mutes chrome, wreathes velvet drapes, 
Dims the cave of mirrors. 
Ghost fingers
 Comb seaweed...

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A cuddly Harp Seal, when just a bub,
Swam further south and slipped into a pub,
The barman gave a wink,
Have this whisky to drink?...
“No way known,...

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I'm standing here in limbo as 

I see him wander in.

That no townsman has warned him

is truly a mortal sin.

 

He slides up to the...

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Out of the west, amide a beautiful sunrise… came a pie eyed son of a gun.
Looking for Armadilly Billy the Sling Shot Kidster… water gun…...

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Tonight there is a match on telly
The lads are coming round 
most of them are married
So my home is to be the neutral ground .

If...

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That's not my elephant, the barman said, when last I went a boozing 
Then threw at me a grin filled glance, that was a long...

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I got up it was way past noon
Thought I’d go for a walk.
Then, it started to rain
I’m talking heavy rain
The rain that soaks you rain.

I...

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Above a cloudy jar of brine
That floated greenish hard boiled eggs,
Beside a Schlitz beer waterfall
That told bar time (ten minutes fast),
A taxidermied Jack-A-Lope
With rabbit ears...

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One day in early summer Murphy the Irishman came to town,
He rode upon a matted mule , his face was burnt and brown,
The corks that...

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I once dated a weatherman
At first he had a sunny outlook…
He had our future all mapped out
But he suffered periods of deep depression so our...

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Wedding Reception

       We’ll settle by the bar and watch
        the women dance,...

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