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St Patrick’s Day Blunder

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St Patricks Day Poetry contest sponsored by Oliver McKeithan 03/19/25

Aunt Bertha’s been drinking with Mable
Ten Guinness cans litter their table
They’re ‘nissed as a pewt’
This fact they dispute
But cannot stand up, they’re unable!

Old Mable can’t rise from her seat
She’s cussing (words I daren’t repeat)
Then she yells, “Get help quick
Cos I’m feeling quite sick"
Which angers the barman named Pete!

Two students help Mable to stand
She blurts, “Getting drunk wasn’t planned”
As they guide Mable out
She hears the barman shout
“NEXT ST PATRICK’S DAY YOU ARE BANNED!”

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Duke Beaufort

Date: 4/1/2025 10:25:00 AM

Jan, you've succeeded as far as the laughter goes. You've created a slice of life for us to enjoy on many levels. Just thinking about the Guiness is tasteful. I think you've done what you set out to do, and there is no award miss that can take that away. I can feel the liquid pouring and see the head forming. Take care!!!

Duke Beaufort

Date: 4/1/2025 9:31:00 AM

Jan, this is really well done and forms an integrated story. She must have been pretty bad to get banned. Love the capital letters too. I hope it was worth it!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/1/2025 10:09:00 AM

thanks Duke, I got an n/a in Oliver's Irish themed contest but it wont put me off continuing to trying to make folk laugh hugs jan xx

David Crandall

Date: 3/24/2025 3:20:00 PM

10 guinnesses - wow - what was Mable thinking? Fun poem.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/1/2025 10:07:00 AM

Thanks David - I've never tried it to be honest I seldom drink alcohol but have never tried beer or lager. hugs Jan xx

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 3/22/2025 6:57:00 PM

Like how you gave the ladies the stout for a good St Patrick's day celebration. Seen your name and dropped to say hello. love phyl

Jan Allison
Date: 3/23/2025 3:09:00 AM

thanks Phyllis - the irony is i seldom drink alcohol i prefer tea or water these days lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tony Hargreaves

Date: 3/21/2025 8:43:00 AM

Enjoyed the read. A good one - 'nissed as a pewt'. Seems you had a good St Patrick's Day with more than ample of the Irish stout.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2025 8:47:00 AM

i wasnt sure if pissed as a newt was acceptable in poems lol - I dont celebrate st patricks day lol and i seldom drink alcohol i prefer water or tea and have never drunk beer or lager lol:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 3/20/2025 11:02:00 PM

By any chance do you have either Mables or Berthas phone numbers?

Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2025 3:24:00 AM

YES but i will mail you as everyone will want them lol:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 3/20/2025 11:01:00 PM

hahahahaha loved this

Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2025 3:23:00 AM

thanks Art need a bit of humour in our lives and on soup my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

John Read

Date: 3/20/2025 10:17:00 AM

Although the ladies were slightly pissed, a st Patrick's day there've never missed, and dear barman Pete, was ever so sweet, so those ladies blew him a kiss.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2025 3:23:00 AM

lol thanks as ever for your poetic comment:-) write a book write a book write a book (with beryl) subliminal message lol:-) hugs jan xx