Jan Allison Poet Limerick

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St Patricks Day Poetry contest sponsored by Oliver McKeithan 03/19/25

 

St Patrick’s Day Blunder

Aunt Bertha’s been drinking with Mable
Ten Guinness cans litter their table
They’re ‘nissed as a pewt’
This fact they dispute
But cannot stand up, they’re unable!

Old Mable can’t rise from her seat
She’s cussing (words I daren’t repeat)
Then she yells, “Get help quick
Cos I’m feeling quite sick"
Which angers the barman named Pete!

Two students help Mable to stand
She blurts, “Getting drunk wasn’t planned”
As they guide Mable out
She hears the barman shout
“NEXT ST PATRICK’S DAY YOU ARE BANNED!”

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Duke Beaufort April 1, 2025 at 10:25 AM Jan, you've succeeded as far as the laughter goes. You've created a slice of life for us to enjoy on many levels. Just thinking about the Guiness is tasteful. I think you've done what you set out to do, and there is no award miss that can take that away. I can feel the liquid pouring and see the head forming. Take care!!!

Duke Beaufort April 1, 2025 at 9:31 AM Jan, this is really well done and forms an integrated story. She must have been pretty bad to get banned. Love the capital letters too. I hope it was worth it!!! Jan Allison April 1, 2025 at 10:09 AM thanks Duke, I got an n/a in Oliver's Irish themed contest but it wont put me off continuing to trying to make folk laugh hugs jan xx

David Crandall March 24, 2025 at 3:20 PM 10 guinnesses - wow - what was Mable thinking? Fun poem. Jan Allison April 1, 2025 at 10:07 AM Thanks David - I've never tried it to be honest I seldom drink alcohol but have never tried beer or lager. hugs Jan xx

Phyllis Babcock March 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM Like how you gave the ladies the stout for a good St Patrick's day celebration. Seen your name and dropped to say hello. love phyl Jan Allison March 23, 2025 at 3:09 AM thanks Phyllis - the irony is i seldom drink alcohol i prefer tea or water these days lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tony Hargreaves March 21, 2025 at 8:43 AM Enjoyed the read. A good one - 'nissed as a pewt'. Seems you had a good St Patrick's Day with more than ample of the Irish stout. Jan Allison March 21, 2025 at 8:47 AM i wasnt sure if pissed as a newt was acceptable in poems lol - I dont celebrate st patricks day lol and i seldom drink alcohol i prefer water or tea and have never drunk beer or lager lol:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso March 20, 2025 at 11:02 PM By any chance do you have either Mables or Berthas phone numbers? Jan Allison March 21, 2025 at 3:24 AM YES but i will mail you as everyone will want them lol:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso March 20, 2025 at 11:01 PM hahahahaha loved this Jan Allison March 21, 2025 at 3:23 AM thanks Art need a bit of humour in our lives and on soup my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

John Read March 20, 2025 at 10:17 AM Although the ladies were slightly pissed, a st Patrick's day there've never missed, and dear barman Pete, was ever so sweet, so those ladies blew him a kiss. Jan Allison March 21, 2025 at 3:23 AM lol thanks as ever for your poetic comment:-) write a book write a book write a book (with beryl) subliminal message lol:-) hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen March 19, 2025 at 5:16 AM - In a year, everything will be forgotten ... Aunt Bertha's and Mable can celebrate St. Patrick again :))) - hugs Jan Allison March 19, 2025 at 9:40 AM lol, folk usually write about the drunken guys on st patrick's day so i thought i would turn the tables lol. hugs Jan x

Lin Lane March 18, 2025 at 7:18 PM Bertha and Mable. What a pair! They should stick with Root Beer. Lin Lane March 19, 2025 at 10:23 AM Nope. Do Beryl and Mable live down under? Could be that's why they blundered. Jan Allison March 19, 2025 at 2:37 AM Its not just the fellas who get pissed lol:-) hugs Jan x