Best Auld Poems
Sing tae me the auld sangs that ah learnt when a bairn,
Sitting at ma mithers knee hearin the lilting tunes,
Carrying me far awa in ma mind
Wurds o the land whaur ah live
An love aw the deys o ma life.
The auld sangs o Caledonia uv heroes ,fermers an unco ithers,
Auld yins wi tales tae tell o plooghmen wi ther hoarses
Running trecks in the fields
Ready fur seed hoping tae grow,
Berley,oats and wheat an aw.
O shepherds an ther dugs so clever an quick,
Chasing the yowes ower hill an glen,
Hardy people wummin an men,
Oot in a wethers hail,rain ur sna,
Lookin fur the yin that’s lost.
Auld sangs bring memories back pintin the wey tae gaw,
Daw we daur tae learn from them wisdom an aw,
Wi a sigh an a tear in oor een,
At the end o the year wi sentiment seen
Auld sangs agin lustily sung.
Andrew mcintyre 18 lanuary 2021.
On a narrow street of Singalong
spreads and banners hang along
Wreaths of subjects and icon
flourish within the alleys of lexicon.
As acid waters plunge,
dirt and dust lounge.
Tin roofs clang, rants and rats run.
Not all streets boom with a bang
Only in the street of auld lang syne.
The horns are squeezed the bells ring out
Auld Lang Syne is sung, no one about
All gone to their homes, arm in arm they walk
A few bevies inside them, so they talk the talk.
Of how it will be this coming year
Money no object, no fighting or fear
Till they get home, something seems to snap
The dog is kicked, the wife gets a slap
The bevies have taken over, control is nought
Peace ever after, what a grand thought
No use trying to coax or chivvy when like this
Definitely stand away, don't get close for a kiss
He will blame it on a bad pint, same as last year
Makes you want to forget new year with all its fear
He needs to be locked up with a few likewise men
Bet he would never, beat his wife up again.
So all you men and women that drinks too much
this poem I hope your conscience will touch
Get a grip of yourself be a man keep off the beer
Give your family a break next new year
For all the abused women and children that fear holiday times
Penned 01/01/2015 by Seren Roberts
Contest : poems that received H.M. previously
christmas tree on curb
spruce needles, dry, brown
here, there, ornament
broken, on branch
tinsel strands flitter
in cold New Years wind
soon, city truck
department of sanitation
come and carry, take away
Christmas tree twinkles
ornaments shine
we're missing some
tears glisten
when I remember
12/31/2021
Do you see the two about to kiss or vase in the void Reversing figures a face or a vase Caressing touch of perception The blind spot shadows of interposition sensations that appear to be real but are created within the mind Erupting within the mind of fiction An emotional parallax but not a delusion Imaginations seeing things bigger than they are Constancy sizing within your mind Do you see the two about to kiss or vase in the void Your clear avoidance sloping characteristics of a surface on the surface you graduate Zippering within the mind An illusion in proximity Alleged ability to gain information about an object Like a starving fever reality kisses the imagination Whole that is perceived as more than the sum of its parts Using a viewfinder to look for a Cyclopean image Do you see the two about to kiss or vase in the void Closure a common fate
I must forget
so as to replace
the face
on the streets,
without contempt.
Start the new
fresh and already accomplished.
An Auld Lang Syne Happy New Year!
Let me tell you ‘bout my body parts
While in sobriety
They’re as old as an old farts
Oh, auld lanxiety
(chorus)
For auld lanxiety my dear
For auld lanxiety
We’ll try not to think ‘bout it
For auld lanxiety
And surely walking now’s a chore
And surely society
Will push me down on the floor
I have auld lanxiety
I no longer run about the docks
With naïve gaiety
Because my legs are just like blocks
Since auld lanxiety
(chorus)
For auld lanxiety my dear
For auld lanxiety
We’ll try not to think ‘bout it
For auld lanxiety
We use to partake in many sports
We loved variety
But my parts are now the rusted sort
Oh, auld lanxiety
But I still can lend a trusty hand
With propriety
And we can drink just like we planned
For auld lanxiety
(chorus)
For auld lanxiety my dear
For auld lanxiety
We’ll try not to think ‘bout it
For auld lanxiety
(fictional body parts)
As a bouncing baby boy
syne of tragic travails in the offing tolled
courtesy analogous bell think Pavlov's employ;
yours truly me mama's apron strings rolled
secure around stubby fingers brought joy
created and garnered webbed wold
between she who helped beget me thru ploy
constituting biological reproduction.
Peter Pan syndrome
not recognized as bonafide diagnosis
encapsulates mein kampf and hard times,
whereby mine childhood's end
dreaded, linkedin and thwarted adulthood
courtesy Anorexia nervosa
(long before said illness
the popular rage
during roaring (2000) twenties
mainly among females)
as feeble attempt to avoid
transitioning into manhood
evidenced today upon
cusp of twilight (zone) years,
when dark shadows (albeit psychological)
metaphorically house these lovely bones
id est twenty first century caveman
with stunted body, mind and spirit.
I feel invisibly chained
to mine early days of yore,
an idealized stage since nostalgia tore
at short lived mettlesome breastplate
activating devastating - festering civil war
leaving seeds of potential emasculation
these approximate three score
years since exiting birth canal,
when both parents in their prime
tickled pink and enthralled
with choice of lifelong paramour.
Renee Cardone therapist
associated with SpringFord school district
doxyme portal allows, enables,
and provides telemedicine
cited how I, a long haired
pencil necked geek aging baby boomer
essentially lives marginal existence
self, constricted, hobbled, quarantined...
since... majority of half dozen plus decades
brought forth upon terrestrial firmament
circumscribing outer limits,
when on January 13th, 19xx
one strong contraction
I ain't kidding ousted
future adverbial, he/him one wily wordsmith
makes period dick exclamation,
viz noun sensible, proverbial...,
who dangled me like a participle,
(hence obstetrician put the scare
of wuthering heights
within yours truly)
well seasoned whippersnapper,
who frolicked in summer re:
amidst the purple rain.
Sea serpents are very articulate in a vehicle. They can wind great needles displaying exemplorary skill and agility. Yet a wise whipping weed can weave a wave from thin air. Displays of a iridescent knowledge. In true form. And exact. Yet a painted bud can never be said to be natural. Simple falsification of the tins. To disguise truth and spray a rain of falsity's across a sky, a sea, an island. Mainly a motion. Caressed with walking wailing walls. In cities worldwide. How corrosive. How correctable. Haven is as happy as a newly born bean. Ink. Innermost. In. Inns. Interesting. But buttons are unwelcoming. Pallor place pigs. X
An Auld Scottish Matelot on Lockdown in Malta
The Maltese Government says we are not to go oot
A mere doddle to us auld yins who have been aboot
Cod War, Falklands, Gulf War and more
Assume NBCD state 1 condition Zulu Alpha
And shut the Fxxxing DOOR!
Get the crib board out and Uckers TOO
Trouble is her in doors has not a CLUE
I could secretly write my memoirs at NIGHT
But perhaps not as I could be in a lot of legal E
And also how do you explain your runs ASHORE
Down the Gut behind the green DOOR
A Daily Orders printed every DAY
Followed to the letter come what MAY
Call the hands would be FINE
Except being a Greenie I don’t get up till NINE!
With Australian Breakfast she has a MOAN
You have to hop up and get yer OWN
I am mess cooks every day which isn’t FUN
Except She made the roster ONE in ONE!
Still cooking isn’t her TRICK
Thank God for that as my ass would be constantly SICK
At least there is no queue for SCRAN
I have done me bag meals so escaped her fxxxing FRYING PAN
At 1700 she assumes the role of the PTI
My sports gear on and I want to CRY
On the bike for half an hour or MORE
Bloody saddle tortures my ass and I am SORE
“Don’t forget the weights” She calls, “My Dear”!
When all I want is a fxxxing BEER!
She has been knitting quite a lot in the HOOSE?
Seriously worried as it looks like a NOOSE?
Pipe Down is drawing near in the HOOSE
Terrified noo as her knitting reveals a HANGMAN’S NOOSE!
She is also the Ship’s Barber and plans to cut my HAIR
Please, please Lord End this Fxxxing NIGHTMARE!!!!
You'll live inside my memory book
Sometimes I'll go back and look
Your image there won't fade away
A thousand years sharp as today
At one-o-five (105) if I'm still here
I'll open up that book so dear
And write through hands that then will shake
One last poem for old time's sake
Looking out my window at the snow falling softly
I am reminded of the passing of time
the new year can bring new beginnings
the new year always made me a bit melancholy
leaving the ones I loved and lost even further away
at least that’s how I feel every year when I hear
auld lang syne at midnight
I know life goes on
I know life is good
that moment of sadness and sweet memories
visits me during that song
I will not say goodbye to them
my heart swells for the missed moments
as I take a deep breath and wonder
what will this new year bring
locking those memories in my heart
There is an auld laddie near Fife
who sought for himself a good wife.
As no one would have 'im
he retired to a cabin
and drinks Scotch every day of his life.
Seven beautiful lines contest,
Sponsor Constance La France
Posted 21/3/25
Through the auld Kirk gate in the churchyard wall
The rough green field where my ancestors lie
Woodbine and ivy around the graves sprawl
With Rosemary and rue growing nearby
Where wild rabbits mutter when screech owls cry
Safe in the shadow of granite tombstones
A jewel I loved, my grandmother’s bones