Best Ana Poems
She writes her songs and her poems,
not one person know 'em.
She listens to the sound of her music,
she's stuck to it like a tick.
If someone took the time to listen,
her true colors would glisten.
She's put on a mask,
and hid everything when someone asked.
She was the type of girl who would always laugh,
making you wish it would last.
She was the type of girl who would smile the day away,
too bad it is no longer that way.
She is now the girl who is depressed,
I bet you're impressed.
Since no one could tell
that she was going through hell.
Everyone thought she was happy,
when really, she felt crappy.
Everyone thought she was having the time of her life,
who would have guess her best friend was a knife?
She spent her days alone,
she seemed to do everything on her own.
Never once wanted help.
Thought she could do everything herself.
Then the day came,
when she lost the game.
She fell apart,
and everyone saw her broken heart.
They saw the way she overreacted.
Oh, if only you saw the way she acted.
She bruised herself, scratched herself, and made herself bleed,
no one knew what it was that she needed.
They saw her tears,
and that was what she feared.
They found out she wasn't okay,
oh, she hated that day.
Everyone found out about her secret,
and she wish they'd just forget,
but she knew they couldn't,
and that they wouldn't.
She left that town and started over,
no one knew she went undercover.
She said she got better,
when really... something else occurred.
She secretly hurt herself,
and walked away from help.
Everyone thought she recovered,
when really, she was undercover.
She secretly wanted to get worse,
no one knew of course.
No one cared to ask,
if she was wearing her mask.
Now it's too late,
she locked the gate.
Killed herself,
everyone had forgotten she needed help.
Goodbye cold world,
this was a story of a girl
who once loved everyone
then feared who it was who won.
I met the greatest love of my life when I was the innocent age of sixteen. She entered it the way mist creeps along the early morning ground after a night’s rain, effortlessly… Without my knowledge, we started to become fast friends. Spending endless days together, learning the curves of each others’ bodies and I of her secret ways. It wasn’t long before the lingering gazes and simple touches had me completely enamored by her and I was wound tight around her thin, cold, and skeletal- like finger. The infatuation grew as I shrunk…
Endless days turned into endless nights, endless weeks, endless months! We spent every waking moment together, every sleeping. With her by my side I began to run, miles after miles, to skip meals just to spend time with her. It wasn’t long before my parents started to worry about that time I spent with my love. The days I spent locked in my room, the obsessive miles and trips to the gym early in the morning and late into the evening until my legs shook and I could barely walk. They told me she was a bad influence and I thought, “How dare they!? How dare they try to take away the Juliet to my Romeo!?” Our love was one to rival the ages, so dark, forbidden and intoxicating like the drugs celebrities take just to “kill the pain.”
By January it was growing unclear where she began and I ended, both intertwined trees stripped bare by the kiss of winter’s icy lips. God I had never been so in love! Her touch sent shivers down the bones of my spine which threatened to pierce through the worn thin skin of my back. Those hallowed eyes of hers sent flutters of starved, butterflies into a dizzied frenzy in the sunken in cave that once was my stomach. I had never felt so alive….
1
Oh, gentle child, how doth my heart still burn
thine absence half a decade spent in vain
to break the bonds that tie, that fett’ring chain
that holds me from embracing thee, thyself in turn.
Thine all enchanting smile, piercing eyes–
thy flailing arms, the limbs, with rhythmic stroke –
responses soundless to the silent words I spoke
to thee before from thee Fate forced me from thy cries.
I watched thee grow through temp’rate times of yore –
remembering the gall’ry of my mind.
‘Twas all I had.
2
Oh, gentle child, how doth my heart still ache
thy presence all too far in distant land
where careless arms push thee with calloused hand
away from mine where once I swore thee none could take.
Thine eyes with tears I shared I shed alone
so thou might never feel the agony
the anguish, loss of my identity,
thy father, thee my offspring, daughter, dearest one.
I watched thee grow through chilling times, and more –
remembering thy portrait in my mind.
‘Twas all I had.
. 3
Oh, gentle child, how doth my soul yet yearn
those many hours oft upon my breast
thy head thou laid safe harbor for thy rest,
thy questions, mind alert, thy hungering to learn.
Thy voice I hear through dreams and zephyr breeze,
thou lark by morn by eve the nightingale,
as Dawn and Dusk, Aurora without fail,
thou hast my heart and soul kept warm with ease.
I watch thee grow, and will, forever more –
remembering thy sculpture in my mind.
‘Tis all I have.
4
Until we are as one renewed
some future date somewhere awaits
when thou her servant dare to flee
that which with thee so long accrued
where here I love and there she hates
that wily witch who bindeth thee.
Break loose those prison bars that bind
thy tired wings that flap in vain –
Renew thy pledge at length to find
thy youthful freedom once again.
Then shalt thy flags fly high aloft
while eagles scream thy freedom song,
while robins chirp with redbreast, soft –
all a capella – pure and long.
Then both our souls shall share their peace,
a father and his daughter, found
to spend their lives on borrowed lease
to live and die on hallowed ground.
Thus, take, Tai-Ana, this, my prayer
that fathers and their children hear
of this solemnity
that children here and everywhere
ne’er shed a sad though soulful tear
for all eternity.
[Finis]
Our love continued to grow as the warm gaze of summer came forth, shinning light on the skeletons we’d became, bodies ravaged from the merciless vulture that was and is the winter. No rays from the sunlight, so brilliant they hurt my eyes, could provide the warmth her love provided. The bones that tried to cut through my skin were the love-marks of our late night romps, the constant light-headedness I took for euphoric ecstasy, was really my body dying.
In the dawning light of the summer…I began to see what I had become. What both she and I had done. I was no longer a girl, I was no longer a human being. I was a breath of bones, so thin you had to squint one eye and shut the other to notice me. “What have I done?” I screamed to myself as I stared at what use to be a body in the length of a one-way mirror. She came to me then, tried to tempt me back into her arms, but I no longer saw the beauty in her skeletal form. I could only see how her love had raped and pillaged me. And so I turned her away and said goodbye…
She has Ana staying over again
You don't like her at all but she's her friend
Ana brought some pills for her to try
She tells you not to look they'll make you want to cry
She says Ana told me not to eat today
Don't argue with me I don't care what you have to say
And she's yelling at you for no reason at all
But she can't help it she just feels so small
When she looks in the mirror
She dies a little more inside
She hangs her head
And asks God to tell her why
Now she looks at you with tears in her eyes
Tell her she's beautiful
She hangs pictures of Ana on the wall
She says she'll get there even if she has to crawl
The secrets inside are hers to keep
She no longer lets you hold her as she sleeps
One day
She says baby come and sit with me while I pray
One day
I hope I'll never have to feel this way
Interlude with Ana Luisa
I hold you closely in my arms
I feel your soft breathing within
While little curls touch my skin—
Soft brownish gold under my chin
I hold you near my little charm
Together we look to the sky
Counting the stars; one, two, three, four;
You sit quietly admiring more
And, I know what I am here for
Bonding, my granddaughter and I
You dance your way into my heart—
Singing angelic tunes, you ruled
Turning simple into jewels
Winding joy onto my heart-spool;
I hold you closely – soon we’ll part
@2011 – Evelyn Pearl Carpenter Anderson
Within ageless canyons we hold our breath.
Ash clouds engulf us, survival or death?
Santana stampedes, pariah unchained.
‘Tis Dante’s hellhound of Hades renamed!
Chased from our homes and all else that we own,
Panicked we flee, to a refuge unknown.
Behind us a past we can never forget
The clear hills of May, June’s swallows…regret.
Sparked up by nature, mishap or misdeed
Transmission line wires sing songs we must heed.
Flora in peril. Restore what is left!
Redeem our planet for which we’ve been blest.
Wildfires delivering whirlwinds of flame.
Let’s pledge to assure renewal sustained.
Unbestown upon
me, you
start
blowing in my
soul ahead
of your arrival
In your wake, still
air becomes
glowy
and unstable while the sky
suddenly turns lilac
and bloody, avenging
my usually even
mood and forecasting
the upcoming
devastation
As you get
nearer, I have
no
choice but to let
the desert
sand and dryness batter
my skin till my eyes
close
in pain and I am
left
weepy and gutted, blindly
seeking for your warm
voice to
guide
me out of the storm
But your winds
are
so hot that I cannot
breathe and your blows
are
so strong that I cannot
hear
So I am
forced
to open my eyes to find
yours and
anchor my entire
life and safety
to your holy
heart
Pro Patria Mori
Missouri volunteers bit bullets, watched
as Santa Ana's baggage washed
their brazen hair, hip deep
in the Rio Grande.
The ancient river moved across the land
Like slow drool down a leather cheek.
Bang! Paul Bunyan's balls
rolled down the Great Divide, rattled
across the porcelain sea.
Oh, the girls!
Hair hot and black, Whoopee!
Their tongues as pink as baby fat.
Now tongs drop a hissing crepe
on the defoliated plate. Butter complicates
our fingers, soils the bib.
We crack a claw. Like a crib
at Benin, wary and dull,
the eagle fills his nest with skulls.
Twice the sun shone for me
such splendor and bright light--
I am only embers now.
I have this friend, no scratch that, I USED to have this friend.
I first met her when I was 14.
She was cool. She made me feel strong, beautiful, powerful;
She made me feel like I was in control.
Funny how I thought I could control HER.
When I was with her, I felt invincible.
She gave off the impression that I could always control her,
And it felt good.
We were best friends, did everything together...
Except eat. We never really did that together.
Sometimes we fought.
The fights usually lasted a few months, maybe longer.
During those fights, we didn't do anything together.
Thinking back now, those were amazing times.
I'm now 18, and I haven't talked to her for about 5 months.
We had the biggest fight shortly after I started college.
The fight happened because I came to some realizations;
I was never truly in control of her.
She made me think that, but, SHE was in control of ME.
She didn't make me strong or powerful; instead I was weak and hopeless.
Like I said, I don't talk to her anymore, but
I can still feel her, hear her calling my name.
Crazier yet, a lot of people know her.
Some are still under her control, but others broke free.
My advice to them is to get out, get help, talk to someone.
When she is gone, you'll never miss her.
I don't, and it's been 5 months since I've talked with
ANA.
written about my battle with anorexia.
In the Irish mountain "Breasts of Anu" I reside.
I am mother goddess, the spirit essence of nature.
Anu or Danu my worshipers call me with pride.
Dana or Ana my believers apply their nomenclature.
I am the female principle, primal vessel for all things.
I birthed the people of Dana, the Celtic race of gods.
As enchantress, my incantations are said by kings.
As avatar of river and land, I appear on many facades.
Revered over Europe, I grant my name to River Danube.
I even appear in Sanskrit as the spirit of the aquatic.
You will celebrate the fruity flavors of the jujube,
as I am prosperity and food provider dramatic.
I am Danu, goddess of Earth and river fecund.
I am Anu, mother of wealth to many I have beckoned.
Ana has a secret.
Her body like a slippery corner
hurtful eyes
you can’t know
if she comes or goes
Ana has a secret.
What a sensitive conscience
mute hands don’t move
hair that flutters around her
from east to west
Ana has a secret.
Only the necessary word
and it’s slow
breaking up syntax
Ana a has…
a has Ana secret
secret…
silence
For all you folks new in the saddle
There's one thing I must say
Don't let yourself get all in a rattled
Just dust off those N/A's
If I've learned one thing out on the prairie
It's, never to look back
And stay saddled up with pen in your hand
When the coyotes come to attack
Yeeeeee-hawwwwww !
Wildfires of fall bring us whirlwinds of flame.
Black-scape throughout, life’s survival or death?
Spring blooms of dogwood. Renewal sustained.
Santana stampedes, she’s wicked, untamed,
through canyons of ages. We hold our breath.
Wildfires of fall bring us whirlwinds of flame.
Now Dante’s hellhound of Hades renamed!
Desiccation abounds where there were fresh
spring blooms of dogwood. Renewal sustained.
What brought this on us, is someone to blame?
Nature or mishap? A crazed soul's arrest?
Wildfires of fall bring us whirlwinds of flame.
Now charred, disfigured but memory maintains
the clear hills of May, June sparrows, content.
Spring blooms of dogwood, renewal sustained.
Flora in peril, all creatures the same!
Twixt ashes or mudslides? These losses attest!
Wildfires of fall bring us whirlwinds of flame.
Spring blooms of dogwood, renewal sustained.