Best Amusing Poems
He writes to me in curly cues painting
fractals on pressed paper made of rice.
Shreds of simple stalks are beaten to
bare the smoothness of his script.
We have not known each other long
but we have known each other since
man first made fire, the poet and his
muse. His presentation fascinates
with swirls of brush or indian ink
he strokes, both deep and long,
with pleasant pressure most often.
His words though highbrow smack
of pent passions, watering palates
and earthy scents. The wanting so sweet
no reality could fill the expanse, the
oceans of prose, the mountains which
jut provocatively, daring, inviting, the cleats
of man, use pinion and hammer triumphantly
upon the bounty of breast, the thigh of night
the whimper of dawn. Poet preen for your muse
Caress the unsullied parchment whiteness
in the hollow of my neck.
First Published in Pyrokinection May 2013
A new patron crawled into a bar,
Surprised all that he made it that far,
He said 'I really think,
I should have a quick drink,
Or no way I’ll get back to my car.'
I could not find my muse one day,
Whither she'd gone, I could not say,
I searched up high, I looked down low,
But could not find her, what a blow!
Would you help me to look for her?
But we must not create a stir,
For she is as wise as charming,
She will hide if we're alarming,
She is clever and cute to see,
A little lady quite carefree,
She might be looking for my pen,
Or gone hunting for my lost zen,
Now what will I do without her?
My plans for writing are a blur,
My poetry has gone kaput,
This should not become her habit,
There, you have chanced upon my muse,
Let's tie her up, don't let her loose,
Where did you go, what's your excuse?
Now come, let's put our time to use,
There is not much time left, you see,
We must get on with poetry,
Before you choose to go and hide,
Let's write some and enjoy this ride.
07.24.2020
When we retired we were so inspired:
To live free and rest from our labors.
This mobile home park has lived up to the mark,
But oh, goodness gracious, the neighbors.
Jay the old peeper can snoop through the creeper
And tell if the ladies are bathing.
At times he's been caught and the women have taught
him new curse words in language quite scathing.
Denny got back from the hoosegow and that
is the end of his meth lab's production.
He'll have to report to the man from the court
with his pee to avoid re-induction.
Jen basks in the sun and we all see her bum
Though we tell her it's not necessary.
In England alone she's seventeen stone
And her armpits are ever so hairy.
A lady name Myrtle we call snapping turtle
(You never know when she'll attack you)
keeps her trailer quite clean but she's viciously mean
And if talked to she'll snap right back at you.
There are neighbors with tone, who have made themselves known
And we're so glad to know they reside here,
But an odd PhD and a master's degree
Can't compete with the felons that bide here.
I went on a Ferris wheel that was named The Mountain Top,
it took me high, so high
Felt like I became a spirit in the sky
Then when it let me down so gently,
I whistled out a relieved sigh;
then laughed and shouted aloud, nothing scares me
I went on a roller coaster ride that was called The Demon Drop,
it took me up and down so fast
Felt like I was a spirit being down cast
Then when it came to a slow stop,
I involuntarily issued a relieved groan;
then cried and shouted aloud, I hope somebody has a mop
Life is so fascinating in every way,
you never know what's in store for you each day
Life can be like a carousel ride,
going in circles will take away all your pride
A first internet date with a stranger,
Proved to be a flirtation with danger,
Said the girl to her shrink,
As her hand stroked her mink,
‘I guess I wasn't born in a manger!'
Brian Johnston
August 24, 2014
Personal Tag
There’s a personal tag on my car
It’s a stand out in my repertoire
It suggests ‘HUG’M NOW,’
And it must be highbrow,
For the source was our friend NPR.
Brian Johnston
June 29, 2015
A Miss diagnosed tragic ailment,
Life strongly suggesting derailment,
Said, “Dis ease among men
Seems not all due to sin,
Let’s pray our death brings pain’s curtailment.”
Brian Johnston
August 22, 2015
Abide with me dear saving grace,
Mark a clear will that sparks pure light;
Urge joy to free true placid face,
Sense cheer now thrill fine wit said right;
Ink words that come to stay the course,
Niche pleasant poise that nurtures tact;
Gift voice that sums that visual cause.
Move active voice in profound fact,
Use blossoms well where humour peaks;
Sculpt sensuous script to frame calm tense,
Intuit grand spell where heart firms speak;
Note how thought grips the moving sense,
Give all to heart as mind agrees,
Soar then sure art with pulse set free.
Leon Enriquez
09 August 2015
Singapore
Hills and valleys and curvy roads
Peeking houses behind tall oaks
Morning sun’s tender rays
Whistling gust’s soft touches
Musical dialogues of chirpy birds
Air-dances and rapid flutters
Fragrant stars of Jasmin flowers
Flourishing marvels of vivid colors
Wind chime’s calming tune
Amusing walk energizing the mood
You put an us in a me,
you'll make muse.
Take the us out,
it'll just be me.
Stick an a in front,
and you'll amuse.
Funny about the a.
amusing apples how rather interesting
An algorithm is an acrobatic arithmetic on a mean ruler dancing across striped squared paper. Format is firstly founded. Then landing with the pen to form the shapes is always considered technically clever. Ordered wrath via pen push. But pushing and squashing a pen through a rotating door by a hotel lobby is just not safe, clever, nor is it a popular pastime for a bell boy whose bell always goes ding ding ding but never chimes in exact precision with the grandfather clock who sits dormantly clanking away occasionally booming out the hour with a large dong. The clinking of many fluted glasses are merely the sound and echo of fairy feet fetching fawns. And riding to a display on an ironed cliff is very well received by the porosity of a single double headed porpoise whose scent taints the already acrid air with stale repugnance. Radios rationally reel rather robotic rationalisation. And the jars of 1901 sloshing wine is to be sipped in a large glass half full as proposed by standards, etiquette and customs. Oh how marvellous. Oh how simply outstanding is the display of legs on a podium. Dancing to the shop now for it is time to purchase 45, 999, 001 canapés, a silver dish, and a floating apple pie with a kite attached. It is imperative to use umbrellas whilst walking a pie in the air. Aerial pies can serve pastry crusts and splodged apple which can cause massive cracks in the earth. And when ten times a chicken equals a scrambled egg it is time to make bull horn tea in a round house weighing over 923 pounds. But £$£$ can never be mistaken for a ¥ nor a % of a ¥ because when ear buds are glowing and wax is used for candles the sticks thrown are widely retrieved by 5540 spotted dogs. So there it is then. Bun time 1 2 3 haha a curd coming to carry cases hahaha a fried belch of a sea turtle makes the plates move. Xxxxx momentarily zzzzz x zzzz and a percentage of a jug naught is a judge juggling jalapenos z
A rare carpet was said made for flight
But its owner had terror of height
You would think he’d choose gain
But he focused on pain,
“If earth wasn’t so hard I just might.”
Brian Johnston
September 6, 2015
There once was a hustler named Mable
Her mad skills at pool stuff of fable
Said, “It’s all up to you
But I’ll polish the cue
Of anyone clearing my table.”
Brian Johnston
August 15, 2015
Seen in the movies, swishing swords about,
Those Ninja fighters make you want to run,
Hiding in shadows, jumping in and out,
Would challenge me: my Ninja skills are none.
However do they manage all they do?
So swathed in dark disguise and masked,
And carrying a bow and arrow too,
Leaping on rooftops, entering unasked.
I couldn’t hit a target with a dart,
Even in daylight, even standing still,
Just opening a pocket-knife’s an art,
I break my fingernails and always will.
It’s somehow not for me, that Ninja-ing,
Given that my knees are past my best,
I have to watch my back when gardening,
And carry reading glasses in my vest.
So Ninja life is not the thing for me,
No warrior, I’m English, mild and free,
That night air fogs my glasses constantly,
I’d rather watch the cricket on TV!