Best Ack Poems
after The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
(Is this microphone turned on? Testing one two, Poe was a dip, Poe was a dip, testing.)
Once upon a daydream, faintly
whilst I watched the boob tube, quaintly
Jerry Springer 'bout half over when I nodded off to sleep.
Show was boring, soon was snoring
when suddenly I heard my bell ring.
Outside it was really pouring,
pouring there outside my door,
perhaps a preacher to ignore,
I'd be a beanbag chair and nothing more.
(By the way, this is the reader's digest version folks)
Beanbag pretense wasn't working,
freak outside just kept on twerking
(Wait! I forgot what that means)
then through my window climbs this guy who looks a bit unstable.
He stops and stares as though a zombie,
asked him could he be from Bombay,
I think his jeans were Abercrombie.
I showed him kindly to the door,
pointed clearly to the exit,
pushed him onward 'cross the floor,
he stood there shaking, nothing more.
"Now look" I cawed with all my muster,
"Get this through your thick head buster,
Spongebob's coming on soon and I've still to take my nap."
He looked at me with subtle smile,
those crazy eyes had me beguiled,
[karma's spanked me with this trial]
on my knees (Ack! I don't have knees)
on my knees I now implored
would he please just take a hike.
I then got up from off the floor,
he stared and said...
"uh, I gotta tinkle."
EPILOG
That's right folks. You now have the edited, abridged version of what really happened back in 1845. Now I know what you're thinking - 'Gotta tinkle'? But it doesn't rhyme! Well, I can't help it folks that's what he said. And it may explain why he decided to turn things around to make me look like the nitwit in his classic poem, The Raven.
This is Barrymore T Raven III, signing off
*did they have TV in 1845? Hmmm...
Will you come with me where
Everything is magical?
Wonder awaits you, and everything
Is beautiful!
Leisure can be ours, with
Luxury surrounding us!
Pack your bags.
Are you
Ready for adventure? Are you ready for
The best time of
Your life?
Lavish food and drinks we can
Indulge in, as well as many
Kinds of fun activities.
Entertainment on the ship is endless!
Take this trip with me.
Head out to the sea!
Enjoy the sun
Relaxing on a deck.
End your day with dancing or
Sipping on champagne!
Nothing could be finer than being
On a cruise!
Taste the good life
On exotic isles.
Mingle with
Others coming for their sweet
Revival time!
Reality left at home we will suspend.
On this cruise, we’ll let our hair down, and
We’ll party like there’s no tomorrow.
Written Nov. 9, 2016 For Julia Ward's WILD ACROSTIC Poetry Contest
Tobruk Siege
Rommel of the Blitzkrieg
had Europe overcome
With the Stukas and dive bombing
And the Tanks that overrun
North Africka would see his tanks
il Duce’s troops were beat
Aussies took 20,000 Italians
At Tobruk in stinking heat
In Europe when his tanks arrived
The captured did surrender
The Poms escaped at Dunkirk
The English well remember
Morsehead an Aussie General
He baited the trap
Strategic mines, artillery, cooks
manned Italian guns , and ack ack.
Tobruk the Panzer tanks came in
The rats went down their holes (Desert Rats Aussie Diggers said Lord Haw Haw)
They rose behind the tanks
Wehrmact soldiers bullet holed
25 pounders fired at just point blank
with cooks and Pommy Armour
Were thinning German ranks
true blue these little charmers
So they blew the turrets off
16 of the best
Unbeaten until this point
A trace of fallen crest
8 long months they dished it out
Though Rommel tried again ……….(lost just as many tanks again)
He had to wait till the Aussies left
To take Tobruk from them
Don Johnson
70 years ago, the Afrika Korp would attack the 14,000 Aussies and Tommy Tank men, Also known as Rats.
The Tanks rolled into the perimeter, Aussies sprang from their holes and fought the German Soldiers behind the tanks, “We shut the gate behind them” the Aussies said.
This thorn in the side in Rommel ‘s mind allowed time for the massive replacement of
armour destroyed by Rommel, with American tanks. The siege held for 240 days in
what is now today’s , Gaddafi’s Lybria. These Aussies were used to living rough
sleeping on the ground
walking from town to town in the great depression, they were brought up on roo or pig shooting and the occasional rabbit.
Jack Frost etches glass with spirals of snow and ice,
A feathery pattern of crystalline cravings
Chiseled long into the night, with but a single
Kiss of winter’s icy cold breath to sustain him.
Frozen abstract swirls of intricate art, soon rise
Resplendent, bathed within dawn’s early morning light.
Opaque, with a mother-of-pearl sheen that glows, as
Shafts of sunlight melt and mold its shape into a
Translucent, shimmering, ever changing sculpture.
Written Nov. 27th , 2015 for “Acrostic: Jack Frost - Poetry Contest”.
The poem contains all of the mandatory words “ice, snow, winter, frozen, Jack”.
Jack Frost is a hoary mischievous fellow
A man with a penchant for autumn coloring,
Carrying buckets of paint: red, brown and yellow,
Killing crops and late-blooming flowers with a zing!
Frozen toes and noses are Jack’s big delight.
Racing through towns and fields, he leaves us winter frost.
Once you have met him, you will not forget his bite!
Snow, sleet and ice he brings before the night is lost.
Then you awake to see his art in morn’s first light.
Written 12/3/2015
For the "Acrostic: Jack Frost" contest of Shadow Hamilton
Amaryllis splendid beauty, Christmas bells of pride thrill us
Birds of Paradise in flight making its opera debut in its crane plumage crown
Calla Lilly’s endless white elegance bouquet, a peek-a-boo lavender funnel play
Daffodils, shoo-in to scoop arm loads, out of the cold, into the morning sunlight spills
Ephemeral, short-lived and quickly fading beauties, trilliums, and harbinger of spring
Freesia innocence captures your heart trust with its fragrances and sword beauty
Gaura, a wand burst of delicate stars as bee-blossoms sing delightful springtime
Hyacinths, sincerity of fragrant with folded leaves a play bouquet of stars
Impatiens, touch-me-not to bloom anew Bizzy-Lizzy in all its playful trim
Jack-in-the-pulpit Arisaema triphyllum striped showy pining lover male-female as one
Kangaroo Paws their long beautiful stalks attract birds to perch and sip its nectar
Lily of the Valley flowers of spring sweetly scented miasmatic wedding bells
Marigolds brightly shine in bur-pee garden spicing up a dish fresh, and new
Nightshade, adorable soothing little green elfish hat and long flowing pink skirt
Orchids a touch of elegance in its uniquely posture, delicate in its buoyant poetry
Peonies, shades of red to white or yellow fragrant strong and hardy the Flower Fairy
Quinces magical splash of color with thorns heralds spring
Rue, sour herb of grace symbol of purity deterrent kitties and snakes
Sweet Peas reaching to the heavens embraced by the breeze, then flowers fade
Tansy yellow bitter buttons hang dry then boiled to clear amber-yellow dye
Uva-Ursi, grape of the bear blowing pink urn kisses into the air
Voodoo Lily, breathtaking with its height and beauty, not its foul odor attracting buzz
Windflower, star sprinkle flowers in your garden, but easies stomach and cough
Xeronema Callistemon sheer dazzling red toothbrush look perched on cliff top
Yellow Anemone, pure and fresh sleeps at night and wakes at a hint of sun
Zinnias sway with its parade of orange tutus charming wings flavor its beauty
4/26/2016
Garden Inspirations Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: BJ Legros Kelley
B ack to the lake for some fun in the sun,
E veryone will be there it’s gonna be fun,
A ll together until the day is done,
C ooking some dogs and roasting some buns,
H ot sun blistering since the day first begun;
B eing with the friends that we’ll meet,
L ather up sunscreen, to block out the heat,
A ll our friends here at the beach,
N ow the foods done, who’s ready to eat,
K nowing this day is truly a treat
E ating and joking until the day is complete,
T he burning sand baking our feet;
B elieve me when I say it was a blast,
I hope that our fun won’t end fast,
N ow we have memories that I know will last,
G ood food good friends, time went too fast,
O ne day soon we’ll have to revisit this past!
~Tirzah Conway~
Angel has fallen from the top of the tree
Broken baubles lay strewn by the door
Christmas chaos caused by the cat
Damaged branches and lights on the floor!
Eager hands clear up the mess
For today we should rejoice
Glorious news that baby Jesus was born In Bethlehem
His birth is the reason we celebrate on Christmas Day.
Icicles may hang on trees like icy fingers
Jack frost will try to nip our nose and toes
Keep well wrapped up and try to stay warm.
Lots of lovely food adorns our festive table
Many hungry tummies are soon to be filled
No, I can't possibly eat another mouthful ….
Overeaten and now we all want to fall asleep!
Presents are unwrapped; hear the whoops of delight
Queen’s speech is on the television at 3 o’clock prompt
Repeats of films we love to see every year –
Sound of Music and a James Bond film are always on!
Time to go outside and enjoy the fresh air
Underfoot the snow is crisp and deep
Verdant gardens are dusted with sparkling snow
Winter is a wonderful time of year.
Xenops is a bird we won’t see on our winter walk
You may be lucky to see a robin redbreast
Zigzagging through the swirling snowflakes.
Contest form A
Sponsored by Broken Wings
01~22~16
P olitical panic and protests abound
O n every front, no peace can be found
L ists are long with our discontent
I nternal strife, a nation's torment
T otal chaos erupts every day
I s this the year of our shame and dismay?
C onstant upheaval, false promises abound
A s candidates spar, no peace can be found
L ack of compassion will bring us all down.
C andidates speak and cast verbal barbs
R egarding the issues, is truth near of far?
A political insanity reigns in the land
Z any bloviations, as Trump grandstands
I deologies gone, thrown by the wayside
N iceties vanish, replaced by vain pride
E very man for himself, the people forgotten
S ad commentary, makes one feel quite rotten
S uch is the political year we've begotten.
Written on 3/14/2016
Light my fire...
Kiss
my cheek
close my eyes
wet sloppy tongue
ACK!
inspired by the Light my fire
Lanterne contest by Brian Strand
Jack Frost, the seasoned master of our winter days,
Arrives with gifts of frost, sleet, ice and snowy haze.
Cold winds fly in to wake him from his sleep and rise.
Kissed by the frigid air, he fashions from the skies,
Frozen white flakes of snow and icy sleet that may
Return to slush with sunny warmth on the next day.
Of course, he naps again until cold winds come back,
Sing loud the signal with their howl to remind Jack
To keep his winter wonderland of white on track.
Sandra M. Haight
~2nd Place~
Contest: Acrostic Poem About Fall or Winter
Sponsor: Janice Canerdy
Judged: 09/25/2017
~3rd Place~
Contest: Acrostic: Jack Frost
Sponsor: Shadow Hamilton
Judged: 12/09/2015
Sending the tending to an unfriended ending,
yet somehow suspending from rending a newly offending recommending.
Logotype monotype linotype,
overripe stereotype,
teletyped an unripe heliotype.
Guttersnipe snipe,
stipe snipe ripe,
a wipe type a tripe,
unleash a withering hype.
Dip snip,
nip lip,
slip skip,
rip the apple pip
over a battleship Chip.
Clip,
airstrip,
blip,
scrip,
gyp,
flip,
dip.
Unsip, blue clip,
A warship, weathering stick.
To miche an itch,
to stitch a witch.
Rich a quitch,
Hitch a flitch.
Gabrilowitsch,
the grand son of a *****!
Pitched a ditch to flitch a niche.
Made a rich hitch lich.
The Thia tie thy tried to untie an unshy,
Spied a sny sty,
He ascribed a bribe tribe,
to dib drib, lib and sib.
A death pale,
dwaled and engrailed,
enjailed and bewailed.
The cocktale turned into a,
ginger ale stale.
A hobnail.
A pale kale.
The whale waled
a veil of wail.
The stale air,
railed the quailing sale.
Dipped the snip,
to pip the tip,
and baled the avail,
to the flailed snail.
Attract extract reenact,
saddle backed and subtracted,
the tact the pact
an unmistakable fact.
Swag the unsage,
the wage of the tutelage.
A coffee break
a bit of a cornflake
cupcaked the cake of the devil's flake.
Draked the fake fruitcake,
and hake the jake on the mellow lake.
Mistake the overtake.
A pancake sheik,
cried spake of a toothache.
Ack Ack!
Back, Bootblack Jack.
Pack the Pontiac rack,
sack the Hackensack,
hijack the leatherback.
Offtrack the outback,
rack the sack,
smack the stack,
stickleback the tictack track,
to the umiak Union Jack.
Twack the whack yak sack,
A mystical one eyed zodiac.
Bready a speedy,
deedy the weedy,
Reedy to leedy.
Unheedy indeedy.
Leda, Vida, Theda.
Sketched an etch,
itched a hatch.
So speechless,
breathless,
toothless.
The socialist,
the communist,
the theorist
the terrorist.
Bedded the bedding
in a dreadful beheading.
Weeded the weed,
leading the lead,
tended the teed.
The ready read,
the reedy reeded.
The seedy seeded.
The end is Ending.
NATURE’S SINGLE DADS:
THE AUSTRALIAN EMU
The next sixteen months:
CRR-ACK ~ “That’s loud,” he exclaims getting up on his legs, so knobbly and thin.
He looks down to the ground,
where he first heard the sound,
and says, “Now it’s your turn to begin.”
Hours go by, as each little chick tries to break free of its protective cover.
They all work their way,
throughout the long day,
then all greet their father-come-mother.
For his new family he breaks the last shell. To his fluffy striped chicks, he’s their mother.
As they grow older under Dad’s shoulder
he will nurture, each sister and brother.
In time, they will leave his home on the dance floor; a single dad, with chicks he will roam.
With high steps he will prance.
They will learn every dance
for survival, before he goes home.
With the changing seasons, Emund finds reasons to leave his young chicks on their own
Others join with his brood
now there’s plenty of food,
Emund turns and again, he’s alone.
Not taking the chance of being late for the dance Emund picks up his speed on the track.
They won’t meet at his gate
if he gets home too late
to dance to the rhythms of the outback.
The Australian Emu; one of Natures' Single Dads worthy of a mention for the survival of the species in the extremes of the outback.
Im Saven my freestyle rhymes so I got da proof n soon I'll be raising da mothaen roof, feeling bullet proof..with all my skills shining through..my competitors ain't know what to do.. when I grab da Mike ..they know they through... Spitting dope rhymes til they getting high from da dope fumes rising from my Microphone, now they leaving yo. They know they got no chance 2 win any battle against me. No competition for this oleschool rap musician making them disappear like im a en magician...they b running they b twichen n of course they b en n wishes they didn't motivate this freestyle main-e-ack now they all under attack.
I've been writing a lot lately, poetry. Comedy n freestyle raps, giving mothaers heart attacks. My compatision fallen fast, blasted n smoked. I ain't no joke. Everyone finishing last. Day taken snapshots at my sexy ass. I'm now standing alone at da Top of da class so all my haters can kiss my ass.. . Fast or slow.. it ain't matter yo..I am unstoppable, like an F5 Tornado, blowen my competitors apart ..morning, noon or after dark, sreadding MC's like im a great white shark!!
Tearing the mothaers slowly apart from every possible angle. Die-angle to a en triangle. I got every possible angel covered til them mothaers smothered n I'm so hot they starting to smolder n smoke. Take a nice long toke til u start 2 choke..now they know what dis freestyle rappers all about. Turn u out ..choke u out til you en passen out. While I'm passen out my demo.. that is gonna demolish anyone in my way yo. Either way ya wanna see it I'll be undefeated n I en mean it. Gotta gansta lean a gansta limp with a tight gansta grip on my .45 with an extra 50 shot clip. This is real n legit n I won't en quit with da.45 hangen off my right hip with that extra en clip..
Maken mothafukers limp like they a dope pimp...
Now I'm heading 4 my dope ride..
2 get da away from dis homicide...
The seen was messy, the seen was sick..
Mothaers learning arithmetic..
5 glock 9 rounds will kill ya quick!!!
Or it will kill ya slow..
Either ing way your gonna die Yo!!!
ing with me n keeping yo life..
Don't ing mix, n I'm not gonna tell ya 2wice...
Once is enough n s gonna get rough..
U gonna get roughed up ..stuck up ..n hit up..Your body on da back of da pick-up..
Not anymore able to hick-cup..!!
cool damp autumn air
contains much ragweed pollen...
surround sound effects
Ack-chew