NOISE ANNOYS
Externally it might emerge as a belch
Especially as the seltzer may just fizz
But inside, one may just hear the stomach squelch
Maybe a hiccup, well you know how it is
A grunt is quite the opposite, so they say
But no-one should cackle in a TV quiz
A silly giggle might just escape one day
Yet a howl might just be judged a bit too loud
But a laugh, not a bellow, that is Okay
Such sounds may amuse an audience or crowd
In a studio setting, rules can apply
But deafening silence is rarely allowed
Bodily functions can often go awry
And can surprise anyone, yet few know why
Table top dancer was as graceful as every hippo I knew
She did a waltz, a ballet, and an old familiar soft shoe
The people at the table pushed their chairs out of the way
My annoyed grandma decided to never invite her again that day
Table top dancer was as graceful as every hippo I knew
She did a waltz, a ballet, and an old familiar soft shoe
The people at the table pushed their chairs out of the way
My annoyed grandma decided to never invite her again that day
Stork wheels his best friend up and down the road.
Someone makes fun of him. It is a simple ugly toad.
He is my pal, and I want to please him, so go away.
The toad hops a couple of inches, then decides to stay.
Seriously, the stork says, I will eat you if you do not leave.
The toad laughs into his long sheer dotted swiss sleeve.
Rhino says “Eat him! I dare you, dear friend!”
So now I must tell you, for the toad, this is the end.
What annoys me ?
Absolutely
EVERYTHING
Where should I start
Fly's Why??
My Bad Luck
Especially on the Golf Course
And playing the Lottery
How is it possible to never get a number
Surely that is harder to get none
Liars
Politicians
Traffic
The Media
But most of All
Electrical power cable's
Why can you not cut the Grass
Or Vacuum the house
Without tripping over the bloody cable
Aaaaaaah
Why does God hate me so much
Like I said
Everything
But then again I am an insane nutcase
With No Patience
Whatsoever
And boy does that Annoy Me
Comes the first day of spring
and everything is in bloom,
while the bugs start
invading way too soon,
And while living down south
were always making hand motions,
to ward off the flying insects
that give us grievous emotions,
Outdoor eating can be quite a task
not prepared for having to eat so fast,
vagabond fly's arriving in the no fly zone
making you wish you were eating indoors at home,
Just opening your door a crack at night
the twinkly stars look so charming,
till the mosquitos come indoors
which can be quite alarming,
Chasing them around trying
to kill them off one by one,
then while trying to sleep at night
the sole survivor pokes fun,
You hear it buzzing round your face
as you quickly turn on the light,
the mosquito plays hide and seek
waiting to get a bloody bite,
You want to spray your room
to finally kill the flying intruder,
but afraid that the powerful fumes will
just leave you in a chemical stupor,
So you try to kill off all the bugs
alternating using a swatter and a bug spray mist,
annoying and elusive as they all are
while trying not to have a hissy fit.
5-11-17
She was an aspiring starlet, a real cutie patootie
Folks were in awe of her natural beauty
She wanted to be a great Hollywood star
But she’s taken the surgery much too far
Her teeth have been fixed for a dazzling smile
They are unnaturally white now they stand out a mile
The Botox she had was to smooth her pale skin
But she can’t move a muscle much to her chagrin!
Her eyebrow lift gives her a startled expression
The desire for perfection has become an obsession!
She’s had Botox on wrinkles and fillers on lips
Liposuction drained 2 pints of gunk from her hips
In trying to obtain that perfect pink pout
Its gone terribly wrong she now looks like a trout!
Her breasts are augmented and they look quite obscene
Like over inflated footballs seen in a top shelf magazine
These two huge ‘flotation tanks’ are silicon filled
They are lumpy and hard but her boyfriend is thrilled!
But how did she pay for surgery which was so drastic...
She opened her purse and put it on the plastic!!
Date:05 11 17
Contest Name:Make me actually LOL 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
Buoy noise annoys an oyster in bed
Grandma hates Galahs screeching overhead
My dog can't stand vacuum cleaner whirl
Kids hate the noise of nails on chalkboard swirl
Annoyance of noise builds to crescendo
Repeating over again with echo
Noise repeats twice or thrice can be ignored
But after that noise bellows to discord
What annoys are people that hum away,
Those that drum on table with fingers stray
What truly annoys is repetition
Dripping away gouging a submission.
What annoys me?
Honestly?
I get annoyed if I can hear someone chewing their food..I often wonder which wild animal pack they were raised by. I get annoyed at certain individuals who do not know they are part of the problem when clearly they are the problem. I get annoyed when I cook a nice dinner and my kids tell me it tastes real bad ( it was delicious mind you) I get annoyed that my children build secret death traps for me to trip over and break something when all I am trying to do is wake them up for school, I mean the WORKS..legos, barbies, hotwheels...if I can almost kill myself by tripping over it, it will be in that warpath. I get annoyed when people try to strike a nerve with me..I really can't take the time out of my busy day to care whether or not you think you were right..I get annoyed by my alarm clock. It's like it hates me or something. I have a good relationship with sleep and it's very jealous. I think I will end this with blueberries. Last week, my children put the container of blueberries in the fridge..WITH 3! YOU CAN'T EAT 3 BLUEBERRIES?? This concludes the humorous side of what annoys me.
L-ong rain annoys not Loren,
O-btruding chill can't dim the light;
R-ealizing they disappear
E-very twenty-fifth September
N-ight.
N-ifty nice affair continues
U-ntil next dawn to be broken;
Y-es, she's truly undaunted,
D-eluge or long rain
A-nnoys not Loren.
What annoys me is...
People who judge others
At the first second before
They know the person.
They take one look at someone and say...
You’re not popular
That person won’t amount to anything
So you bully them for your own benefit
To feel like you’re the boss to gain power
By taking away someone else’s
By filling up the other person with so much fear that
They will soon explode
Just so you and your bystanders can have a few
Seconds of enjoyment
Then you go torment someone else
Until they do the same.
I can’t comprehend how destroying someone’s life
Making them so scared and feeling so worthless
They retreat into a corner
They stop talking to anyone
And they just give up.
Wouldn’t you carry the guilt forever?
I know that I would
But my question is would you?
Many things annoy me
fools are top of the list
you know when they make
same mistakes time and again
Or spout utter rubbish
just for something to say
no meaning or purpose
just verbal diarrhoea
Injustice of any form
really gets my goat
like a hapless victim
bullied for being different
Or a cat or dog being kicked
just because their owner
is taking out their frustration on
something that can not fight back
Theft is another one that annoys
people work hard for what they have
only to have their homes invaded
their treasures stolen or smashed
Belongings defecated on, why?
usually it is jealousy or plain spite
people who misuse positions of power
these and many more really get my goat.
written 02/20/2014
contest What Annoys You
sponsor Frank H
What annoys me
There are a few
From white van drivers to
Peope who like to jump a queue
Chewing gum on pavemnts
Stickin to your shoe
Drivers on mobile phones
Though that's illegal to do
Back seat drivers
When youve given them a lift
Peope who look at your boobs
When your talking, if you get my drift
So you see, my list is varied
Not just one thing
I expect I annoy people
When I try to sing
What annoys me to the core
Is a man to his word untrue
For honor is tied to manhood
It does annoy me, how ‘bout you?
They emasculate themselves
With the lies that they dare tell
And it makes me want to wish
That they’d sizzle away in hell
Annoyed? WOW! Annoyed for sure
And wanting to give them thumps
When they say, “I understand”
Then go and act like chumps
A MAN is one who says one thing
And doesn’t do another
Who lives by the words he says
As a lover, friend, or brother
The glory days of chivalry
When for your honor you’d die
Have gone away and now remains
The honorless fool with a lie
I’m annoyed and I’m incensed
By MEN who claim to be
Honest and trustworthy...
Stay the hell away from me!
June 10, 2013
For Contest Entry- What Annoys You
By Frank H
I thought in the restlessness within
Why could I not be a little bad
But to all I had done a weeding
Leaving them leaves them sad.
Could I have been a purpose?
Broken hearts in me take repose
Yet I leave them more broken
I exude love more than a token.
They found me unforgotten
Each memory not rotten
I guess I am a bird on a flower
To its nectar, a strong love's power.
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