Practical Algebra
A lot of people hate algebra - they think it isn't useful.
They are SO wrong - here's some practical Algebra:
Chocolate comes from Coca,
which grows on a tree,
which is a plant, therefore:
Chocolate is a salad.
You're welcome.
.
.
A song for this:
Preface (feat. Di Johnston) by The Shanghai Restoration Project
Ignore moi by Mélanie Pain
H has a lovely crush on 8.
Hoping for at least one tiny date.
C likes T but asks out 9.
Numbers and letters out to dine.
You see senseless algebra
Makes me whine.
Whilst algebra for many is so poorly understood
At school I put the effort in and I became quite good
Three apples being equal to a carrot and two pears
Was obvious, for camels are a donkey and two hares
A bicycle without a wheel was equal to a boat
But take away an apple and you’ve got a mountain goat
Though if you multiply an orange by a seedless grape
The answer’s twenty six and a recurring hairy ape
Who knew that one banana added to a coconut
Might equate to seven minus half a water butt
But, hey, I passed exams that say I’m clever as can be
Two peaches plus an aubergine will not befuddle me
The usefulness of algebra is difficult to see
Unless you need to prove six plums are very nearly three
But what I learnt of algebra I never did forget
Though now I’m ninety seven… and I haven’t used it yet
Words made up with their letters
Of consonants and vowels.
Paragraphs from sentences
Which serve as verbal bowels.
All letters from A to Z
Play an important role
Every time we read and write...
Each one has a goal.
Numbers used when we decide
That we would rather count.
They are used in many ways
To come to an amount.
Use a calculator when
An answer may seem far.
Letters and numbers together,
You have algebra.
When the alphabet is soup
Inside a bowl for you,
What was 26 instead
Can become 62.
This is really bad.
“Algebra Two” doesn’t
Compare to last year.
We were tested on algebra
Well no duh.
I have been to trig and back
while still keeping algebra on track
These are questions you can answer
they are not asking you to be a tap dancer
Put your silly doubts to rest
and be done with this stupid algebra test!
This is done as a response to my dear friend, Bridget Williams' poem, Tested On Algebra
Algebra equations I’m performing while light
And then I go home and write till late in the night
Hanging out with me might cause you a fright
You may be my poem subject tonight!
April 24, 2021
Otter
By Caroline
I am an otter.
I swim in the water
Cactus
By Caroline
the humble cactus
stands tall over the desert
casts a long shadow
Spring Rhymes
By Caroline
the mighty breezes
moves the mighty treeses
Evil Poem
By Caroline
"Tested On Algebra"
This "poem" is really bad
In fact, it is kind of sad
If this poem was a physical object, I would impale it with a spike
This poem's author can't even ride a bike
Soup
By Lucas
A culmination of flavors, combined into one,
Chowder, French onion, chicken noodle galore, just some examples of soup, but wait...
There’s more!
Minestrone, Cream of Mushroom, Split pea, and bisque,
Soup is simply an amazing dish.
See Maddi Zapinski's PoetrySoup Page for her poems, as well.
You give me questions.
Most of which I can answer.
Tested. Algebra...
A lot of people hate algebra - they think it isn't useful.
They are SO wrong - here is some practical Algebra:
Chocolate comes from Coca,
which grows on a tree,
which is a plant,
therefore: Chocolate is a salad.
You're welcome.
by Wayne Wysocki
Hello, my darling variable,
'Tis me, your dear unknown.
How'd you like to take a chance?
You'd not be all alone.
We'd make a fine equation;
'Twould equal none we've known.
Just you, my darling variable,
And me, your dear unknown.
Oh my math! Oh my math!
You are a head ache or clear cache,
I don’t understand you till I solve,
Is it a part of my problem solve?
Oh dear math! Oh dear math!
Please be simple, don’t be so tough,
You want me to practice, doing some rough?
It’s so hard, I want to give up!
Oh toughest math! Oh toughest math!
Whenever I solve algebra,
I never take it as easy to see zebra,
Whenever I solve integers,
I always think about strangers,
Whenever I solve linear equations,
There stands a line of questions!
Oh annoying math! Oh annoying math!
Whenever there is a doubt,
I tell my teacher to sort it out,
Always one answer on the tip of her tongue,
Practice, practice and practice ample,
You becoming a mathematician, will become simple!
Oh simple math! Oh simple math!
Solving maths is full of fun,
Maths is nowhere tough, no need of rough,
It’s never so hard to give up!
Your name is Dawn.
I know you hate my nose!
And I have mother-of-pearl
Snaps
On my clothes,
But truth is,
Seven months I have been waiting,
To ask you out!
(Don’t know for sure ‘f your folks
Will welcome dating)
BUT
I haven’t got a Chance
Of forgetting you,
So, if you think, ‘no’,
Just… before you do,
Remember,
I am not all that I seem.
I think of you,
And float into a dream
I see your eyes, as green
As unripe, exotic wood,
And wonder whether you feel seen,
Feel understood
I look at you,
And Have to catch my breath!
I admit, I have hope fluttering in my heart!
You smiled at me,
My heart wrenched right
(And that’s no shibboleth)
Okay, I hope that helps… that you have heard,
And will respond by saying ‘yes’!
Heartfully Signed,
And hoping to be undeferred
Andy
It was ridiculous
Maniculous, fradiculous, arithmodus, calcrickulous.
A form of math I had never seen.
A counting in a way quite mean
Not algebra, not palgebra.
Something weirdly salgabra.
The newest new new math the teacher bragged
It was so slimey and sneaky,
So algebra-creaky
So non-user friendly
It had no parts bendy
I called up my doctor, I called up a priest
A lawyer, a dentist, a baker with yeast
Beats me they all said
As they scurried away
Never saw anything like it
Back in the day
ALGEBRA
Satan's hallucinations made him giggle,
Numbers and letters made to wiggle,
Satan arose one morning,
A day on Earth a'dawning,
Satan spake from far above,
Fist in his iron glove...
" I mix numbers and letters,
To make mathematics better,
Evermore there shalt be...
ALGEBRA!!!!!!"
Yes, numbers and letters made to wiggle,
Satan's hallucinations made him giggle.
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