Notes About The Poem

The Waltz of the Mannequin

A Fantasy

There was I, forgotten in the attic.
Mannequin discarded, ready for demolition.
Cracks everywhere with some rags thrown on
Haphazardly over me like a scarecrow.
Suddenly all lights went out, an outage.
Immediately the generators went off but failed.
In the attic, the air went into a trembling atmosphere
Thunder boomed and lightning filled the room.
An electrical power surge lit everywhere.

Suddenly I felt alive and began to walk, rags and all.
There were other mannequins, so completely ruined, 
Some in good shape.  But one caught my attention
As she walked towards me.  The static turned into music.
May the last waltz last forever.  I took her in my embrace,
The dance began, not a word was spoken just gestures.
Mentally I counted one, two. three, around the attic.
Occasionally I twirled her around on her toes,

Suddenly the lights went on and we all went back
To where we were initially, rags and all.
Some people came to inspect the attic and said:
We must get rid of these mannequins once and for all.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Romios Avatar
September 30, 2023 at 11:55 AM
This is a wonderfully creative write, Victor. I see nothing.” Little” about it. Many of us cannot even write this way. Do you know that? Your stories are divine and should be in a book! I am so glad we are communicating again because you are fabulous .Do you know that you have that great quality of humility. Please always be you, you are the real deal! With sweet-appreciation, Pangie XX A fave.
Dietrich Avatar
September 28, 2023 at 4:36 PM
Cool little fantasy story poem, Victor
Daniel Avatar
September 26, 2023 at 8:45 PM
Fantastic:)
Edmonds  Avatar
September 26, 2023 at 8:09 PM
A beautiful waltz of the mannequin Victor, wonderful imaginative poetry. Toys come alive when there’s stars in their eyes… Belle
M  Avatar
September 26, 2023 at 12:45 PM
Lovely Victor….sounds like Toy Story! Ha…..Debx
Anaya Avatar
September 26, 2023 at 10:36 AM
Charming! You've captured me with your imagination, Victor. Left me wanting the last dance to last forever! Picture of mannequins dancing, too cute. Sweet xo
Fowler Avatar
September 26, 2023 at 5:59 AM
What fun Victor! A lovely waltz across the page with your pen. :)
May Avatar
September 25, 2023 at 4:37 AM
A power surge and the dance begins, Very nicely penned Victor
Andresen Avatar
September 25, 2023 at 4:00 AM
- Lovely ... let the waltz last forever in your imagination, Victor :) - hugs
Williams Avatar
September 25, 2023 at 1:30 AM
An imaginative write, Victor. written in the true style of a creative storyteller. I couldn't help but feel sad at the end, but there again they did get a chance to have that last dance. I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. Hugs
Roper Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 10:24 PM
Very inspiring write, my friend. You reminded me of the ones I have, but on a desk. I used to use them all the time to sketch people.
George Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 7:49 PM
I was lost in your fantasy world for a while ! You are an expert in making weird things appear so real. Sometimes your imagination leaps skyhigh. Enjoyed your poem.
Buehler Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 3:38 PM
An enchantingly beautiful fantasy, which captures the imagination and heart. A lovely work, and a fave, Victor. ;)
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 7:34 AM
Great personification in this work you have written. Quite creative and expressive. Thanks for sharing and for dropping by my page. It also reminds me of a song from years ago, Glendora. It was about a man falling in love with a mannequin. I think the person who sang it was Perry Como. Sara
Poet Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 6:31 AM
Victor, your imagination is a boundless wellspring of creativity, flowing freely and unrestricted. Your words dance gracefully, painting a picture of enchanting romance. Your writing is a delightful tapestry, woven with elegance and charm.
Pandit Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 5:41 AM
Your imagination dwells splendidly in fantasy. Glad you could see the waltzing mannequins--moments of joy well captured Victor.
DiMino Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 5:05 AM
Delightful imagination! Love it! Feeling a bit rejected mannequin myself lately (why I do not want to live in a strictly senior community): I enjoy so much seeing and hearing kids running up and down the street, prancing, dancing -- composing their youthful hearts out.
Rodrigues Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 4:59 AM
Such a lovely write! When they came to life there was magic and a little romance. The inspectors hadn’t seen it, sadly. Hugs ~ Kim
Rose  Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 4:46 AM
you have such a creative imagination that knows no boundaries my friend, love this :)
Lane Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 4:45 AM
Your storyline concept and detailed lines remind me of a movie, 'Mannequin.' A female mannequin in a department store came to life each night. Your lines are presented as lovely romantic version. Nice writing, Victor.
Empress Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 4:03 AM
This is so deeply intriguing and so very well written. That last line made me think… somethings dont last long and sometimes when reality hits, good things are taken away… moments too. Brilliant write this is. Very creative metaphors and word weaving
One Avatar
September 24, 2023 at 2:01 AM
That is a great title, the poem is a great use of metaphor with a deeper meaning..
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace