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Poems by Just That Archaic Poet

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Date PostedPoem Title# ViewsForm
03/22/2014Science Friction124Rhyme
03/21/2014An Exercise in Versatility96Verse
03/19/2014Pas de Deux72Rhyme
03/18/2014Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or Equipment72Rhyme
03/06/2014Inder the Unfluence166Couplet
02/19/2014Rosetta116I do not know?
02/19/2014What's Weighing Heavy on My Heart135Rhyme
02/17/2014She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom Mirror395Rhyme
02/12/2014The Last Son76Rhyme
02/11/2014What Gets On My Nerves384Narrative
02/10/2014Surgical Blue183Free verse
02/08/2014Restless Natives158Sonnet
02/07/2014Casting Couch164Sonnet
02/05/2014Hemlock Valentine125Rhyme
02/04/2014Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very Vicious91Rhyme
02/01/2014I'm Gonna Need a Transplant125Rhyme
01/31/2014Assault and Pepper280Rhyme
01/28/2014Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward194Narrative
01/26/2014Nothing's New175Rhyme
01/25/2014Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lol120Narrative
01/25/2014Social Climber101Rhyme
01/24/2014Rubicons and Oubliettes74Rhyme
01/23/2014Water Brothers107Rhyme
01/07/2014Poking the Beast212Rhyme
01/06/2014Humble Pie, Anyone237Prose
01/01/2014Room Service306Lyric
12/18/2013The Fool404Rhyme
12/18/2013Coming Clean308Narrative
12/17/2013Perfectly Terrible231Rhyme
12/03/2013Paper-Cup Porsche: True Tale from the Mental Ward294Narrative
12/03/2013Gardens Grey187Rhyme
12/02/2013Darth Exactitude146Rhyme
12/01/2013All We Have is Hope273Free verse
11/28/2013Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder137Light Poetry
11/28/2013Twice the Christ192Rhyme
11/21/2013I Think of You More Than You Think I Do250Light Poetry
11/20/2013Love is a Lie302Rhyme
11/11/2013Have My Cake and Eat It, Too501Rhyme
11/06/2013Damage Control: An Apology Poem416Rhyme
11/05/2013From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration417Narrative
11/05/2013Tug of War229Rhyme
11/05/2013Believe It or Not140Rhyme
11/05/2013As God As My Witness189Rhyme
11/04/2013The Throne of Bone and Stone133Rhyme
11/03/2013A Rational Explanation177Rhyme
10/30/2013Call Me Monday When I've Made My Millions208Rhyme
10/29/2013An Ounce of Pretention169Rhyme
10/29/2013Burning Man180Rhyme
10/28/2013I'll Have Another, and Keep'em Comin'212Rhyme
10/27/2013Lazy Man149Rhyme
10/27/2013Escape Artist100Rhyme
10/26/2013Around in Circles157Rhyme
10/26/2013A Journey Through Eternity170Rhyme
10/23/2013Exercising My Demons247Rhyme
10/23/2013Knock, Knock211Rhyme
10/17/2013Damn You, Eve371Rhyme
10/17/2013Romance the Chance157Rhyme
10/17/2013The One Least Likely73Rhyme
10/17/2013Try as They Might231Rhyme
10/15/2013In the Meantime126Rhyme
10/14/2013It's Hard to be a Rhymer in a Free-Verse World222Rhyme
10/14/2013A God Among Men166Rhyme
10/12/2013You Love Me More Than You Love Yourself183Light Poetry
10/12/2013Spreading the Seed397Rhyme
10/12/2013Burying the Hatchet84Rhyme
10/11/2013What Would You Take Contest Entry277Narrative
10/11/2013Run for Your Lives--Them's Fightin' Words221Rhyme
10/11/2013I'll Drink to That173Rhyme
10/10/2013Angel in Your Eyes Contest Entry125Rhyme
10/10/2013Why Can't I Be Young, Rich and Thin423Narrative
10/08/2013Take Two and Call Me in the Morning110Rhyme
10/07/2013Twenty-Below Zero161Rhyme
10/05/2013You and I and I and You555Free verse
10/04/2013Leave a Message After the Beep225Free verse
10/03/2013Delusions of Grandeur- Bon Voyage98Rhyme
10/03/2013The Verdict Is In137Rhyme
10/03/2013Alone with My Thoughts158Rhyme
10/02/2013PHARM Fresh96Rhyme
09/29/2013A Happy Ending229Rhyme
09/29/2013No Assembly Required145Light Poetry
09/29/2013Come Out, Come Out- Wherever You Are115Rhyme
09/26/2013Playing with Fire343Rhyme
09/26/2013Strange Bathfellows264Rhyme
09/25/2013I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday137Light Poetry
09/25/2013Meet Me Halfway183Rhyme
09/25/2013Thank You Lord, Amen106Rhyme
09/25/2013To Make Matters Worse103Rhyme
09/24/2013The Truth Isn't Always Kind150Rhyme
09/24/2013Hammer to a Concrete Heart409Rhyme
09/23/2013Life is Sweet in Honey-Hives199Rhyme
09/23/2013Tied to the Train Tacks99Light Poetry
09/23/2013The Poets I Hope to Meet in Heaven174Rhyme
09/22/2013A Master's Approval124Light Poetry

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Bloggers PhotoI've always wanted to title my "Bio", "Highlights of a Low-Life" and I'll be damned if I didn't Google that title and it has already been used by someone  else. Figures!

So, here's a bit about me: my name is Chan Hurst. I've been writing poetry,  short-stories, essays and memoirs for 24 years. My forte, though, is "Rhyme"  and I consider it to be the only "true" form of poetry. I know: quite a  debatable, controversial and fascist belief, but this is my fervent conviction,  for which I am unapologetic and shall never waver.

My greatest poetic  influences include Poe, Shelley, Keats and Dickinson. If you are looking for  "odes to nature" or "grandma" or some other mundane topic, I am definitely NOT  the poet to read. I write what's in my Soul, and stay true to my  aesthetic.

I'm 34, gay, partnered for the past 5 years and married in my  own mind and heart. I have 5 children: 2 dogs and 3 cats. I am physically and  mentally disabled, suffer from numerous mental illnesses, am an addict/alcoholic  who also suffers with chronic pain. I'm a highly opinionated introvert with a  staggering IQ (I'm not modest when it comes to intelligence). What you are about  to read now is a paper I wrote as an introduction about myself to my fellow  classmates in one of my many failed attempts at higher  education:

    I am of the opinion that unless you are  some kind of celebrity, no one wants to hear your life story.  Since I find  99.9% of the human race utterly uninteresting, I have no desire to hear about  your plights or triumphs so I don’t expect you to want to hear mine. I’m a  misanthropist, damn it. A jaded Cynic. Would you expect anything less?

 Ok, OK! You asked for it. You want to know so badly? Well, then, I’ll  tell you. I’m a self-professed geek. Yes, I acknowledge as much. It seems that  in today’s age, being a geek is much more chic and “in” than it used to be.  Thank goodness media expands our limits and perceptions of “coolness”. I mean,  hats off to such influences as “Big Bang Theory”, right? You remember all those  reasons you made fun of nerds and geeks in school? Yeah, well, apply them to me.  And may the Force be with you as you live long and prosper. Insert “smiley face”  emoticon.

 Now I will cryptically and enigmatically tell you how un-exactly deep  my well of coolness allegedly is. This will all sound pretty flakyy so feel free  to roll your eyes or LOL wherever you see fit.  Ok, you ready? Thought not,  but here we go anyway: I am that person, that friend of a friend of a friend,  who has seen and experienced the most indescribably incredible things your mind  can fathom on dark and stormy nights.  I’ve had the kind of close  encounters that those weird people on TV swear and attest are true. I’ve  underwent the kind of mind-blowing revelations that those levitating Tibetan  monks or jungle medicine men have probably known for eons. A hit of Timothy  Leary on the end of your tongue on a bright and sunny spring day brings the  universe and life into perspective. But so does walking in the Shoes of  Insanity!

 What else? Hmmmmm. Ok, well, like many of you, I’ve had a number of  adventures in my 34 years on earth. Like what? Patience, young Padawan; I’m  getting to that. For example: I lived overseas with the Kiwis for a time in New  Zealand. I’ve lived high on the hog, but also roamed skid row (but not with  Sebastian Bach). My fashionable myriad of mental maladies have shown me the  inside of The Cuckoo’s Nest on more than one occasion. I’ve nearly died more  times than I can attempt to count. I have climbed the heights of pure Nirvana  and suffered tragedy of the Shakespearean kind. I’ve had organs removed and a  toe amputated. Loved and lost; hated and gained. I’ve been locked up, tied down  and shot at. Just to name a few...    

 I mean, so I got kicked out of a private Christian school in the tenth  grade; hasn’t that happened to everyone? Is going to class on acid really that  big of a deal in the grand scheme of things? Does it really matter that I almost  killed an up and coming country music star back in the 90’s? Or that I used to  dabble in the occult and dress like Dracula? Why are you shaking your head at  me? Who are you, Saint Peter?

 Like most of you, I’ve had various careers over the years; everything  from the educator of your children (I know, someone did indeed drop the ball  when they hired me) and street pharmacist (the money was good!). Years ago, I  enjoyed being the night manager at a hotel (so what if I routinely fell asleep  and slept with the guests?). Once, I had the distinct displeasure of working for  UPS as a truck loader (if any of your packages got smashed or were lost, I  apologize). I’ve been a cashier one too many times (my bad if you got  short-changed). Flipped my share of burgers (what do you mean yours was “raw”?).  In 2006 I worked with the criminally insane (I know, right up my alley!) but  quit two weeks later after I was nearly choked to death. Yeah, I’ve done a  little of everything. What am I doing now you ask? Wouldn’t you like to  know!

Oh, lest I forget, can I get an “AMEN!” if you, too, have perpetrated  embarrassing acts that made your father wince and your mother cry? Can I get a  “HELL YEAH!” if you’ve partied too much and wound up in the slammer or  slept with someone who looked much better when you were drunk? Can I get a fist  bump from all my fellow “He-Whores” and “Jessebels”? No? What a bunch of prudish  pansies! Like I’m the only one who’s gotten too loaded and told everybody I  could play the bongos with my feet? Don’t act like you’ve never passed out in  public or urinated on the side of a church!

 Like everybody else, I could go on and on, yadda yadda yadda with some  blah blah blah, but I think you get the gist of it. I'm a weirdo; a freak and  geek, but damn proud of it. I am unconventional, controversial, unorthodox and  fascist. Hope that's not a problem for you lol.