Poetry Forum

zorcas - all messages by user

9/14/2017 6:20:59 PM
Wavedance..Id love your feedback	Before writing a poem you should ask yourself,"what am I trying to say or convey? What reaction do I want from the reader?" Simply entering words--"the purple wave asunder on the green hills" needs to be apart of something going somewhere. This poem is no more than a beginning description with too many loose ends.
9/14/2017 6:27:48 PM
Let Loose Your Words of Critique	You need to know exactly what you want to say--then say it well. This is stream of conscious stuff that needs to be dropped and discipline imposed.
9/14/2017 6:35:34 PM
Amateur poet posts first poem online	This a good effort, but boy does it need formatting. Ever heard of paragraphs and spacing? This needs pacing done for the eye. Also make sure your English is up to snuff: what is "conversating?" Pouring it out isn't enough; it has to be neatly packaged. OK?
9/14/2017 6:42:14 PM
Your Enemies	This has a lack of focus: it starts with you then suddenly someone else pops up. Also, imagery is way off: strings and scaffolding? You aren't using YOUR words, but other people's. You also savage others without defining them or explaining what their problem is.
9/14/2017 6:48:15 PM
I'm not really good but I wanna hear feedbacks	The simplest way to start poetizing is to focus on yourself but then you're locked in. Try writing the poem describing someone else to give you distance and a fresh eye. Your gut feelings have to be turned into words that flow not gurgle.
9/14/2017 6:52:08 PM
feedback and critique needed :)	Excellent words. Now reduce them by half, tighten up, focus, drag the reader from lien one to the end.
9/14/2017 6:59:55 PM
Enjoy! ....Or not. Your choice.	Triple or quadruple spacing adds nothing. You seem to be edging up to haiku but so far it's only lowku.
9/14/2017 7:11:40 PM
Need critique: Wondering Wolf	stanzas 4 and 5 need work. Lazer lights? Why running? Why Sunday mornings driving you insane?lLast stanza shifts from you to he, and who is Mary? Seems like your steam ran out and the last two parts thrown together. Straighten it out and you'll have something really good.
9/14/2017 7:18:20 PM
Pandemonium, On Fire	What is pan pan? Ship on fire--details, please? No such thing as Demonium unless you figure out how to attach pan in front of it. This is a very vague bit to base a poem on. It's a scrap that needs fleshing out to be coherent.
7/8/2018 3:37:26 PM
THE FORBIDDEN TEMPEST	The poem actually begins with "Those who cannot accept loneliness" but then ties it to accepting death, a rather odd swerve away from the subject. This might be far more powerful and useful if it offered suggestions for coping rather than dwelling on accumulated horrors.
7/9/2018 11:11:36 AM
Poll Question: Featured Poetic Forms...	Might focus, not on form, but on content, and not the usual. Skip writing easy stuff about love, grief, loss and solicit poems on, say, deceit, envy, bravery and sacrifice. This would avoid a flood of greeting card verse.
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