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Forum Home » Writing Poetry » Amateur poet posts first poem online

Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.
7/27/2017 6:53:30 AM

Momo Tinaza
Posts: 4
Has a tear of joy ever escaped from the window of your soul? A moment of realization that fell out of your control? Have you grown up with someone who is way out of your league? One whose presence could effect the way you breathe? Is there something you believe that changed the way you see? Or have you ever fell in love with one that was expected to never be? Imagine a lover who speaks to God about you, one who sees a truth you don't think is there, what if this is how I see you when I say your name in prayer? Though our memories are few, somehow they feel more true, for time is non-existent when it comes to you. Your the most difficult poem I've always wanted to write because no words exist to express such love at every sight. I gaze into our history for a clue as to "why?", amidst a maze of a dozen conflicting stimuli, no language could explain but you deserve for me to try, yet all I can offer is a crude illustration of a truth beyond imagination... You've always felt like more than just a crush, like a reflection of my trust, like Fate flirting with a dream only love could create. The way we conversate is the melody of my song, your hypnotic sense of humor splashes the colors of a pretty pinkish dawn, the way you beautify your personality stretches beyond. Those eyes an invitation to some unknown adventure, that smile begs the question I'd spend this life to answer, almost feels like the beginning of some kind of forever. Then something else crept into my heart as well, a chemistry evolving in a way only nature would tell, every grain of knowledge gathered like an oyster in its shell, until my love for you was no longer in control, a rare precious pearl embedded within my soul. WAIT! I have to stop, language has failed me again, but how was I suppose to hold all this in? At the risk of you never looking into my eyes again, I couldn't continue to pretend that your just a friend. What happened to me is I began to see you as we will be when our love is complete, a chemistry mixed with a mystery betwixt pretty and sweet, the heart utterly eclipsed by a beauty beyond any comprehension of art. Now that it's said that leaves just one more task and that is to ask: if such a heavenly bliss as mysterial as this could be forged without a first kiss, how many wonderful probabilities could we possibly miss?
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8/1/2017 12:12:01 PM

Jenny Dillon
Posts: 9
Is that a spoken word piece you wrote? It's beautiful.

I don't have a signature.
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9/14/2017 10:08:35 AM

Faeeza Paruk Simjee
Posts: 14
@Momo - what a beautiful piece of writing! Deep, sincere, glorious! Love it!
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9/14/2017 6:35:34 PM

jack belck
Posts: 12
This a good effort, but boy does it need formatting. Ever heard of paragraphs and spacing? This needs pacing done for the eye. Also make sure your English is up to snuff: what is "conversating?" Pouring it out isn't enough; it has to be neatly packaged. OK?
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