* My Dad would be 94 today ... this is the first birthday we've had without him, and this poem was written in his honor - I'm sure many of you can relate. That void left by passing NEVER fills ... the wounds never heal.
He wanted little to do with me for most of my life, and I could never earn his pride or approval, but over his last few years I came to understand his sacrifice, and appreciate how hard he worked all that time to provide for us, and give us things many others didn't have.
I still would have traded it all for a single hug or closeness, but he was not given those tools. We eventually learned to say "I love you" in his last days, and that was precious, despite the dementia. I was also blessed to be the one with him when he died, holding his hand for the first time.
I love you and miss you, Dad. *
SHADOW MAN
There stood upon a trodden sod
A knight-in-armor, steed and rod
Devoted, whole, to queen and god
Cold, rusting in the shadows
The darker, keening shadows
Oh statues built for men who find
Far weaker hearts of grit and mind
Than men like this, the rarest kind
Oft' swallowed by the shadows
Self-righteous, hasty shadows
Oh my mistakes were dearly bought
For trials and truces, plainly taught
Paid for excuses, veiled and wrought
And swallowed by the shadows
Those doubting, dusty shadows
Oh pedestals, bright, stand erect
The plaques and badges of respect
All kept to shine thru time's neglect
So swallowed by the shadows
The misty, trembling shadows
I held this man far o'er the rest
Tho' medals never graced his chest
And through intent, took second best
His work amidst the shadows
The humble, hidden shadows
From birth to here I ached inside
To earn the blossom of his pride
Yet now those wilted petals hide
To seed, deep in the shadows
The blistered, barren shadows
Oh life and love bear such a cost
I wander, now, thru threshes, lost
Paths and pities, burnt and tossed
All swallowed by the shadows
The horrid ... gasping shadows.
Copyright © Gregory R Barden, December 8, 2019