Walking off a High School wedgie,
Just digging out my underwear.
Lodged tight in the crack of doom,
These days it seems they're always there.
This daily Freshman ritual,
I try to face with chin held high.
I laugh so they don't see my pain,
But it's hard for me not to cry.
Ruffed up by every Senior,
I've got to stave off that fear look.
They take my picture on their phones,
Hope it won't be in our yearbook.
I know there's not much I can do,
It's time I should take a stand though.
But since I'm only five foot four,
Maybe I should go commando.
Categories:
wedgie, for teens, high school,
Form: Rhyme
This is quite a bit overdue my friends
It's an ode to brussel sprouts
Those delicious spherical bundles of joy
Not too popular hereabouts
Poor wee fellows just want to be loved
Along with all the other veggies
They've long had a real image problem
About as popular as a wedgie
Thinking of starting a worldwide petition
Anybody wishing to join
Send a hundred dollars to me, Jester Jack
You'll receive a commemorate coin
Along with the coin you'll receive a bushel
Of these oh so luscious little critters
As a bonus for ordering before December
An autographed picture of John Ritter
Hey, it rhymes doesn't it !!!
Categories:
wedgie, silly,
Form: Rhyme
I do not like the taste of zucchini,
so might I please suggest
we have instead fettuccini?
That dish has zest!
Zucchini is considered a veggie
very healthful for you,
but I’d rather get a wedgie
than eat that poo!
Baked in cakes or bread, it tastes good to me.
Sweet is better than raw.
Eating it plain should be
against the law!
Jan. 5, 2023
For Writing Challenge - Zip, Zig, Zag, Zing Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Constance La France
Categories:
wedgie, food,
Form: Rhyme
The protests are written from the busy pen
of the one whose thoughts are quite driven
yet she cries "foul" like a rumple feathered hen
when the thoughts of another are simply given
Her name-calling ploy is such a childish game
for each one of us has the right to our opinion
without castigation and a finger pointing blame
I'm not a vengeful person, nor a poet's minion
I don't seek attention as a clown or a witch
I've not slandered anyone with my remarks
My fastballs are always thrown as a legal pitch
I'm vaccinated so I don't fear mad dog barks
Social equality is as much mine as it is yours
I've the right to write or speak what I feel
without giving a wedgie to someone's drawers
I'm not vicious like you called me in your spiel
You want to dwell in sorrow for the human race
but I have hope for mankind and will not brood
Our differences will never allow for an embrace
but only one of us illustrates the right attitude
Categories:
wedgie, feelings,
Form: Rhyme
This is quite a bit overdue my friends
It's an ode to Brussel Sprouts
Those delicious spherical bundles of joy
Not too popular hereabouts
Poor wee fellows just want to be loved
Along with all the other veggies
They've long had a real image problem
About as popular as a wedgie
Thinking of starting a worldwide petition
Anybody wishing to join
Send a hundred dollars to me, Happy Jack
You'll receive a commemorate coin
Along with the coin you'll receive a bushel
Of these oh so luscious little critters
As a bonus for ordering before next December
An autographed picture of John Ritter
Hey, it rhymes doesn't it !!!
Categories:
wedgie, perspective,
Form: Rhyme
Look at olé Manny over there.
He's been praying for grown back hair.
Hair back
Back hair
Hair is neither here nigh under where.
At night we pray for tight'ee whites;
Following morning awaken by a huge wedgie wearing panties.
Shake it off and tone it down.
Take it easy now, now.
Hold your horses there pray full man.
Eating tiger sporting a lions mane feeding heads.
I said, I see I said, I taw a pudgy fat hippy cat rocking dreads.
Looking like a praying mantis crossed with a giraffe.
Bitting your toungue, covering your mouth; trying not to laugh,
You see poor olé Manny with a blank look of dismay.
Holding tightly onto his toupee on another windy day.
Even today, he continues to pray as he slumps in his chair.
And people just don't understand why because Manny is amazing with or without grown back hair.
8~21~16
Contest: A LIGHT TO LIKE
Sponsor: Julia Ward
Categories:
wedgie, fun, humor, humorous,
Form: Light Verse
Mr Webster's definition of loser
A consistent failure abuser
Turkey that has no wings
Sunkist lemon of a human being
I say Ol' Daniel's wrong
Ain't nobody that far gone
They're bound to have some use
If nothing else, squeeze them for juice
No wings on a turkey, big deal
Who wants wings for a Thanksgiving meal
A wingless bird would be unique
He doesn't say a loser's a freak
So a person has a few bad breaks
Always whines and bellyaches
Makes everyone else a little edgy
Social bothersome , tighty-whitey, wedgie
He may be down on his luck
But a loser, come on, that sucks
That is unless you're in this poetry contest
Then you'll be a loser, if yours ain't the best
an original poem by Daniel Turner
Categories:
wedgie, conflict, fun,
Form: Rhyme
This is quite a bit overdue my friends
It's an ode to Brussel Sprouts
Those delicious spherical bundles of joy
Not too popular hereabouts
Poor wee fellows just want to be loved
Along with the other veggies
They've long had a real image problem
About as popular as a wedgie
Thinking of starting a worldwide petition
Any Soupers wishing to join
Send a hundred dollars to me, Jester Jack
You'll receive a commemorate coin
Along with the coin you'll receive a bushel
Of these oh so luscious little critters
As a bonus for ordering before December
An autographed picture of John Ritter
Hey, it rhymes doesn't it !!!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories:
wedgie, humorous,
Form: Quatrain
I own a beauty parlor but I always get things wrong.
Last week I left a lady under the dryer far too long.
She was under the dryer for hours and it fried her brain.
They put her in a funny farm because I drove her insane.
When I dyed a woman's hair, it turned green.
I soon met her family and they are mean.
They made me eat shaving cream and it made me vomit.
Then they grabbed my underwear and gave me a wedgie that was atomic.
They kicked my scrawny ass and and broke my fingers so that I couldn't call the cops.
I think you'll agree that the time has come for me to sell my shop.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Categories:
wedgie, funny,
Form: Rhyme
I've seen the face of evil
It tried to stare me down
It expected me to run
But instead I stood my ground
Its eyes were bloodshot red
Like a hooker high on meth
Its teeth were in a glass
It tried to gum me half to death
Its nose was like a cactus root
Twenty times compounded
I've never seen a cactus root
I just like the way it sounded
A hump stood high upon its back
That looked like a wayward camel
Covered in hair from head to toe
It just had to be a mammal
Horns fastened atop its head
It had such a horrible growl
Each time it did, it would drool a bit
So I gave it a paper towel
I'm telling you this thing was evil
I think it wanted my soul
I finally tried to run away
But the thing wouldn't let me go
It grabbed a hold of my belt loop
And I was pulling with all my might
I think it gave me a wedgie
Cause my underwear was gettin' tight
The beast was trying to kill me
Then someone turned on the light
If you think it was mother-in-law
Then, once again, you're right
Categories:
wedgie, funnyme, me,
Form: Rhyme