The Face of Evil

I've seen the face of evil
It tried to stare me down 
It expected me to run
But instead I stood my ground

Its eyes were bloodshot red
Like a hooker high on meth
Its teeth were in a glass
It tried to gum me half to death

Its nose was like a cactus root
Twenty times compounded
I've never seen a cactus root
I just like the way it sounded

A hump stood high upon its back
That looked like a wayward camel
Covered in hair from head to toe
It just had to be a mammal

Horns fastened atop its head
It had such a horrible growl
Each time it did, it would drool a bit
So I gave it a paper towel

I'm telling you this thing was evil
I think it wanted my soul
I finally tried to run away
But the thing wouldn't let me go

It grabbed a hold of my belt loop
And I was pulling with all my might
I think it gave me a wedgie
Cause my underwear was gettin' tight

The beast was trying to kill me
Then someone turned on the light
If you think it was mother-in-law 
Then, once again, you're right
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Taylor Avatar
April 24, 2010 at 5:34 PM
She must really love you.
Culverhouse Avatar
April 23, 2010 at 6:19 PM
i guessed it--better be glad she did not have her teeth!!
Bourner Avatar
April 23, 2010 at 3:19 PM
funny :) liked this one lots. hope your mother-in-law isn't really like evil!------Ell
Orschell Avatar
April 23, 2010 at 3:03 PM
Wonderful poem...I could feel your bravery slipping away until finally you were trying to run away...Excelent...And I'm really glad I'm not your mother in law... -Destiny
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