Weasel Poems

Fake Love Grouchy Weasel

People in the world have witnessed your all seasons love in Palestine!!

weasel

a lowborn weasel
slinking in verdant grasses
mice tiptoe softly

Weasels

Did I ever tell you about the time
I saw a pair of wild weasels in the
parking lot of the government bunkhouse
I was staying at for the season

And they made me cry
because I had been so misled about weasels
up until that point

No on bothered to mention the 
long slender tails and the impossibly slim bodies
and the two-toned palette
of brown and gold
and the joy
with which they hop about
why had no one mentioned
the joy?

Weasel

weasel
whiplashing past my boots

flash of tan and cream
zipping
out of sight

chasing a rabbit - maybe

no death scream

no sound
of anything being torn to pieces

walk on a pace

a fleet rustle in the grass

it is hunting again

walking on eggshells

Best Uber Driver Is a Weasel

The weasel is the best Uber driver we have ever found,
We have taken rides from miles around.
He is polite and responsible and can outrun a hound.
The weasel is the best Uber we have ever found.

But he is a weasel! Aren’t they mean, sly and slick?
I heard that they carry rabies and can make you sick.
One of them carried off the eggs of my goosey named Dick.
I am fearful of the weasel said my Uncle Mick.

Then don’t use the weasel, but don’t come crying to me.
He is the most inexpensive Uber, and he is good to your she.
He brought my wife chocolates and put a candy in her tea.
If you use the wrong Uber driver, don’t come crying to me.

Tell the Clown Weasel

You should tell the clown weasel, the other girls said.
I had seen him before, but he looked daffy in his head.
He wears a diamond triangle clown suit and enormous red shoes.
I do not think I could, I admitted. He looks like rather weird news.

He is sage and wise, they told me. He has never steered us wrong.
A beautiful Indian woman who was nodding her head, wore a sarong.
He has an enormous talent for telling you what you could do.
He gives you a multitude of choices, several hints and some clues.

I sought out the weasel, even though I was not optimistic at all.
He gave me some ideas – some huge, others quite tiny and small.
He has such a fine brain, I stayed with him for a couple of hours.
My first impression had been ridiculous, he was full of smart powers.

Weasel - Nursery Rhyme

Weasel was wiser than a coonhound
She weighed one pound, a foxhound
Traveled the campground and playground
Searched the fairground and all around
A sleuthhound, she would turnaround
Looking earthbound for something profound
On the rebound, her heart would confound
In the foreground was her hunting ground
She would often bum around and mess around
Searching the battleground for common ground
Renowned for her wisdom, though uncrowned
She took a ultrasound so she could stick around
Even going underground in the burial mound
Riding the merry-go-round so she could hang around





Nursery Rhyme 3 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Eve Roper
April 14, 2022

Weasel

There lives a puppy named Weasel
She's almost big as a diesel
Artists paint her on their easel
She can be found digging up bones

Her heart is as wild as a deer
She's amazing - she's without fear
Her hair grows in spite of the shear
She eats so she may get gallstones

Her mind is stirred up by the cats
At night, she'll chase after the bats
I once caught her chasing the rats
She is spayed but still has hormones

Her time is spent near the river
Sometimes, she eats things like liver
Her soul is kind - she's a giver
On the web, she uses our phones

Her joy is found in hues of pink
She'll pick that one without a blink
If you pet her, she'll give a stink
Living with her gives me love tones

Her light falls soft on any heart
She's lovable, warm and so smart
Yet, she may smile, look up and fart
When she visits vets she gets cones

Her life has been one filled with hope
Mind, soul and spirit, she can cope
She is happy - won't ever mope
I promise, my heart, Weasel owns




Tall Tales 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jeff Kyser
April 6, 2022

What Was That

What was that?
My husband and I look at each other
It looked like a hybrid
Part raccoon, part cat
Possibly weasel
It ran right out in front of us
I look up Ringtail Weasel
There is such an animal
It is nocturnal, rarely found in the daytime
We are not surprised to see it is also called Ringtail cat

Weasel Words Are Our Mental Traps

we are surrounded by weasel words
mental traps we set for ourselves
to shut down all rational discussion
in truly Orwellian fashion


these words are legend
everyone uses them
no one thinks about them
what they really mean

I had no choice
of course, one always has a choice

Failure is not an option
nothing but macho BS
of course failure is always an option
that one must be prepared to face

and my favorite
zero tolerance
which converts
all violations of the Rules
into class A murder like felonies
and common sense and discretion
thrown out the window
under the proverbial bus

where the full SWAT
Imperial storm troopers
Robot cops are deployed
to arrest a teenage girl

her crime giving a classmate
a Tylenol which is a legal drug
but under zero tolerance
that is the same as selling heroin

and she will be charged
with a class A drug offense
following her around
for her life

for having dared
to break the stupid rule

yes weasel words
are everywhere

our mental traps
designed to keep us
from thinking
and acting

so throw off your mental traps
break free from the weasel words
and perhaps we can be free
of these mental traps

Catch a Weasel Asleep

Catch a Weasel Asleep

Upon my word It all came true,
Sky turned Green and Earth was blue,
Fish didn’t swim but they could walk,
Sheep wore hats and learnt to talk.

Cockroach roamed six feet tall,
Slaying dragons, for they are small,
Eagles fell from pure green sky,
Shed their wings could no longer fly.

Fox strolls town during light of day,
Greeting strangers, it’s just his way.
Tiger’s tamed eating berry fruit,
Rats attack men in pin stripe suit.

Mankind turns human, honest and good,
Walking land where giants stood.
World is spinning upside down,
Man, in the Moon bemoans and frown.

Penguins wear trews by Louis Versace,
Playing concert piano like Liberace.
Ice caps melting flooding the land,
Paupers and Porpoise go cap in hand.

Life on Earth is in reverse,
Pollution and noise only make things worse,
If you ever catch a Weasel asleep,
The end is nigh; time to weep.

Pop Goes the Weasel

The happiest tune I've ever heard is “Pop Goes The Weasel”
Helps me remember me before I became evil
No excuse do I have
Could've been lotsa gas
Mucho beans as a young'un when things were primeval

Demons of Suburbia

Lawn furniture flavored ice cream
	served in moxa cups
Candied eyes of freshwater bream
	pickled bushdog pups.

Pig pizzle wrapped around a stick
	grilled upon the deck
Woven rope with cat head and brick
	hung about your neck.

Marzipan violin bowed by a stoat
	badminton played widdershins
A toast of poison without antidote
	barefoot on needles and pins.

Picture of a Weasel

Picture of a Weasel

While he worked on an easel
Painted picture of a weasel
Some schnitzel sounds good
Have some wish I could
Maybe sneeze I now will.

Wally Weasel Loves To Paint

Wally Weasel Loves to Paint

Wally Weasel loves to paint, and paints himself a lot.
Some paint goes on the canvas, but most of it does not.
Poor Wally, when he’s finished, is a sight that you must see.
He’s a living breathing rainbow from his head down to his knee.

Wally gets excited when he takes his brush in hand.
If you’re smart, you’ll go across the room and there is where you’ll stand.
His brush goes this way, then goes that way, nothing can escape
The splatters.  If you stand nearby, you’ll need a plastic cape.

There are eighty-seven pictures, every one is of himself,
There’s a special place he puts them all upon a special shelf.
He likes the color orange, and must buy it by the ton.
His house looks like a tangerine in every room but one.

And in that room you’ll never guess what color’s to be seen.
His tiny little studio is painted bright lime green!
His painting smock’s magenta and has polka dots of red.
Also, there’s a blue beret upon his little head.

Now let us go, let Wally paint.  His work has just begun.
Maybe he will show it to us when the picture’s done.

• Short Weasel Poems
• Famous Weasel Poems
• Best Weasel Poems
• Read Weasel Poems
• Long Weasel Poems
• Weasel Quotes