Funny Vanity Poems

I can't believe your audacity
Well actually!
Your so consumed with rapcisty
The bling life has blinded you
You can't even see what's Infront of you

Who even are you?...

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You can’t understand how that sounds.
You laugh, but you look like clowns.
Don’t repeat the joke. Don’t assail
my ears with what you would call a humorous...

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so ten of your teeth were pulled

and then your mouth crown jeweled

you must think us daffy

you eat all that taffy

insurance claim overruled.
...

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You were the promised "slice of heaven"
The adventure termed a futile endeavor.
I sought after, I fought for, I got “you”.
But after this there won't be...

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She’s so bloody vain, always playing with her bits,
she’s had so many tucks, she’s sniffing through, her armpits.

She use to be a beauty, until her...

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There once was a gadfly daring.
His speech, it was laced with swearing
          He said too much
...

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The continued story of this poet
Haters r going to be mad that I even wrote it
Here is where I give u "The Business"
Like a lightning...

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Next to my mattress
  is a mirror
decorated with crude stickers
stolen from a dirty bathroom in
        a seedy...

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                        ...

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Yesterday's Nonsense

I don't like animal crackers Dewey,
I'd rather have eggs and Ham.
I've never liked animal crackers Dewey,
You know what a fiend I am.

Fix me a...

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To be Ignored (heads in the air, or maybe noses)

The toilet makes a swoosh, 
The drain makes a giggle.
Grandpa lets go a “big” one, 
and...

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You'll always want 
What you don't got
Most the things you get
Aint as important
As you thought
Once you get them
Is when they start
Losing value
Got you on the...

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The fidgeting lips of hypocrites 
sound the story they couldn’t predict, 
the Hindsight family carry the flame 
that rewinds backwards and assigns blame, 
something achieved...

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‘Twas but a mist-enshrouded speckle
dark-painted on looming horizon.
Petty worker holds unwavering watch,
silently, stealthily keeps his eyes on.

Forward motion undeniable,
each passing minute size increasing.
Small heart stands...

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I have this disability
The one called imbecility,
Along with instability
And rampant incivility.
I lack dependability
And have no credibility.
I’m short on sensibility,
Am prone to gullibility
And have the inability
To...

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