Toasters Poems | Examples

beware of biblioklepts

Libraries put biblioklepts on wanted posters
In workrooms next to aluminum coffee pots and toasters
So, the librarians will not check these felons out
Because they steal books and tapes without a doubt

The Toaster

The toasters on the blink.
I don't care, I'm leaving you.
I know you like your toast in the morning, but that's a bit extreme.
I've met someone new.
You never mentioned that last night when you were screaming, more, more.
That was goodbye sex.
I think I'll get a brown toaster.
You would put a brown toaster against a red background.
Hardly your concern now.
I designed this kitchen, you are not getting a brown toaster.
Think I'll change the whole decor when you leave.
That is just typical of you. You just can't wait to forget me.
I think it's for the best, cuddles. Maybe make it my man cave.
That's it, I'm dumping the other guy. I am not having you undo all my good work.
Won't he be devastated.
Who cares. Right, we're going shopping today.
Oops, turned out to be the fuse.
Right, I'm going.
Going where, cuddles.
Back to bed, do not disturb me.
Aw, I was thinking some sympathy sex, maybe get back together sex.
Do not disturb me.
Okay cuddles, I'll pop down to the tailors, get fitted out for your sister's wedding. I'm thinking bright orange, 
Oh my god, stay there, I'm going with you.

Tornadoes are Worse in Texas

Daddy warned us about the Texas twisters
They mow down mountains
Or toss them into another galaxy
Over three hundred miles an hour he said
Because he is from Texas and that is how they talk there

Tornadoes are worse in Texas than anywhere else, guessed my husband.
Yes, and so are the meteorites that drop out of the sky in Texas.
Some are the size of a football stadium; that is how we got the last two
And the spiders there are larger than toasters, my husband guessed.
Spiders here pick up our houses and carry them off on their backs.

My Daddy is super proud of talking like this.
Like a true Texan.

Just My Luck Dk

Early morning I stumble around
Half asleep I make no sound
Coffee machine gives a groan
It’s beyond repair hear my moan

Decided to brew a cup of char
Prop myself up at breakfast bar
Toast, I think so put  in bread
Electric flare now toasters dead.

Usually patient but now am shattered
The post arrives with bills that matter
No,no what’s this before my eyes
It seems I’ve won a raffle prize.

One thousand euro ‘tis a windfall
Morning looks better I’m walking tall
Entirely dumbfounded but what the heck
Finger’s crossed it’s not a bad cheque.


 
Poetry Contest 
Dumbfounded
 Sponsored 
By
charles messina

Ran Into Elvis Jesus and Your Memory At Walmart

Left toothbrushless  mine pilfered along with shampoo,deodorant, razors and other such, found me wasted in Walmart, thieving Gnomes at the last homeless shelter are my suspects. His name tag said Elvis, greeting customers at the starting gate, navigating shopping cart jockeys with cherubs riding shotgun, my request for the location of items is answered Presley style "Past houseware" he Hound Dogged lip curled.
Among waffle irons and toasters in an aisle devoid of housewife print skirts, your memory purchased my thoughts, forging past bedding, linen sheets how we once tangled and ravaged, is that your image disappearing into lingerie.
Jesus on his employee name badge suffering from price tag neurosis."Love potion?  We don't sell that vagabundo polo." He growled with picante breath.
You told me I could find everything I needed here, but not even Walmart has what it would take to make you love me again.
I hope Target is open!
©2019

Gnarly Exposed Tree Roots

Gnarly exposed tree roots 
Sheltering the fey
Pops of purple violets
With dash of yellow
Adorning in quiet ways

Mischievous forest pixies
Prancing in silence
Discover this oak is hollow
Build an apartment house
Using twigs, grass, and mud.

Wood elves join them
Led by cosmic faeries
All bearing gifts for neighbors
Rugs, toasters, beds,
Ethereal celebration in oak tree heights

Tanning Beds

Did you know, toasters are tanning beds for bread
Keep coming up with these winners straight from my head
Was one of my best
Even amazed myself
Another is chocolate covered bacon, popularity not widespread

Modern Day World

Technology is rushing forward, mobile phones and such,
Even radios and toasters now turn on without a touch.
Robotic voices on phones will be here very soon,
Replacing NHS as the population booms.
Cars with Bluetooth and sensor controls,
Are better at driving but replace human souls.
We're being sucked in by robotic tornados,
Left vulnerable and dependant as technology grows.
No need for thinking as our minds are now void,
Being replaced by the government's toys.
Everyone's tagged so no place to hide,
You have no business in this modern day tribe.
The government's eye sees all without doubt,
Via the technical gadgets that we cant live without.

Happy Birthday Joyce

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE

Born before the hair dryer
And even before hearing aids
Frozen foods and television
Pop-up toasters and aerosol sprays

Jet engines, folding wheel chairs
Scotch tape to stick things down
No parking meters, electric blankets
These items were not around

But God in His infinite wisdom
Knew what the world would need
A great poet named Joyce Johnson
To write poems for folks to read

She acknowledges God in her poetry
Her poems have become her voice
Happy Birthday to you my dear
We truly love you Joyce


	
	12 April 2018

Nine Eleven Decade

Information and social information
Facebook, Twitter, Smart Phones.
IPods, IRods and even ARods.
Steroids, Bluetooth and Drones 

I became a rapid change victim
Eaten up by crazy, futuristic innovations,
New order, decree and dictum
Transparent toasters and chicken roasters

Decade of the sane becoming schizoid,
Distant, detached and indifferent
Buddies that I tried to avoid
Like me had their psyche destroyed

Not much need for philosophy,
Ethics, manners, contentment, only worry
Not much time for the Ponderosa Ranch
We were too much in a hurry.

Summer came, 2007, I wrote a letter
To my friend who was disabled 
I put away my IPod and
Listened to Beatles on a turntable.

The End of Vhs

Our kids were young when VHS
Changed how we watched TV.
We popped a tape in when there was
A film we’d want to see.

We didn’t have to wait until
Our favorites would appear
Like in my youth, when “Oz” (the Wizard)
Came on once a year.

Of course, the tapes could break
And there were times when they got stuck.
Repairs just didn’t work and so
We just were out of luck.

When DVD’s came out, the tapes
Quite soon became passé,
Although our player and some tapes
Are still around today.

Just one remaining business
Manufactured the machines
But they’ve just fallen victim
To our modern tech routines.

Like dial-up phones and toasters,
Skates with keys and TV Guide,
The once-cool VHS tapes
In the past will now reside.

Twelfth Day of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love (hubby) sent to me
12 baskets of laundry
Eleven dishwashing liquids
Ten laundry soaps
Nine vacuum cleaners
Ten frying pans
Nine oven toasters
Eight soft  brooms
Seven kitchen aprons
Six sheers for mowing
Five hair netsssssssssss
Four dustpans
Three floor scrubs
Two rubber gloves
And a pretty nanny for my baby


Dec. 14, 2012

By Leonora Galinta                   Merry, Merry Christmas to All!    Please sing with me;))

First Prize
Contest: 12 days of X-mass
Judged: 12/25/2012
Sponsor: My greatest Poet, PD/Linda

Banks To Customers--Go To Hell

Bank to Customers—Please Go to Hell

By Elton Camp

I can remember a better time way back when
Banks gave toasters if an account you’d begin

To get your deposit they were happy as can be
And, of course, your checking account was free

And if you were willing open a saving account
Bank would pay interest—a generous amount

Tellers were glad to see you and called by name
That’s gone and never will again be the same

Nothing at a bank anymore is given out free
Even to talk to a teller there may be a fee

Interest on savings accounts has dropped low
Some are now paying just barely above zero

If, “I’ll move my money elsewhere” you say
Response is, “Fine we don’t want it anyway.”

Big banks are the worst just as experts say
So with community banks or S&L I’ll stay

Compass, Regions, Wells Fargo I here tell
For my part, it’s YOU who can go to hell

True Evil

cars, knives, building, planes, boats, pens, computers, soda pop,  lighters, money,
jewelery, tvs, tool, stoves, fridges, blenders, forks, spoons, guns, heater, ac, belts,
fans, canned food,  batterys,  toasters, washers, dryers........  

what do all these things have in common. it's truly unnatural.

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