Best Toasters Poems

Lovers have each other so they, 
will never have to be alone.
A king has his tall stone castle, 
where he can sit upon his throne.

Musicians have their instruments, 
and a singer will have a song.
Religions will have holy books, 
to teach them about right and...

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It was the year of Nineteen Forty One
when I was a young, new bride,
there was a sneak attack upon our ships
and so many good men died.

Our president announced we were at war
and we knew lives would be changed.
How dare they attack the USA?
Are their leaders...

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Mike and Victoria decided to get married
They lived together for seven years - too long they had dallied
They jetted off to Mexico to get wed
Lets have a party in the UK they said

We won’t make a wedding list we don’t like greed
We’ve been living together...

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My closets and garage overflowing with my stuff,
I couldn't afford to rent a storage unit because of the cost,
putting piles of our old clothes and shoes in various rooms,
one day I wanted to sweep and couldn't even find the broom,

In my kitchen had old coupons...

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On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love (hubby) sent to me
12 baskets of laundry
Eleven dishwashing liquids
Ten laundry soaps
Nine vacuum cleaners
Ten frying pans
Nine oven toasters
Eight soft  brooms
Seven kitchen aprons
Six sheers for mowing
Five hair netsssssssssss
Four dustpans
Three floor scrubs
Two rubber gloves
And a pretty nanny for my...

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Technology is rushing forward, mobile phones and such,
Even radios and toasters now turn on without a touch.
Robotic voices on phones will be here very soon,
Replacing NHS as the population booms.
Cars with Bluetooth and sensor controls,
Are better at driving but replace human souls.
We're being sucked in...

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We all wake up every morning
To a day like no other before
This world is still an experiment
With lots of mysteries to explore

One that's uppermost on peoples' minds
And a question unanswered so far
Is how they get the caramel inside
A Cadbury's Caramilk bar

Or why kamikaze pilots wear...

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cars, knives, building, planes, boats, pens, computers, soda pop,  lighters, money,
jewelery, tvs, tool, stoves, fridges, blenders, forks, spoons, guns, heater, ac, belts,
fans, canned food,  batterys,  toasters, washers, dryers........  

what do all these things have in common. it's truly unnatural....

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Our kids were young when VHS
Changed how we watched TV.
We popped a tape in when there was
A film we’d want to see.

We didn’t have to wait until
Our favorites would appear
Like in my youth, when “Oz” (the Wizard)
Came on once a year.

Of course, the tapes could...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE

Born before the hair dryer
And even before hearing aids
Frozen foods and television
Pop-up toasters and aerosol sprays

Jet engines, folding wheel chairs
Scotch tape to stick things down
No parking meters, electric blankets
These items were not around

But God in His infinite wisdom
Knew what the world would need
A...

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Information and social information
Facebook, Twitter, Smart Phones.
IPods, IRods and even ARods.
Steroids, Bluetooth and Drones 

I became a rapid change victim
Eaten up by crazy, futuristic innovations,
New order, decree and dictum
Transparent toasters and chicken roasters

Decade of the sane becoming schizoid,
Distant, detached and indifferent
Buddies that I tried to...

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Big Dreams

My friend told me I should print a business card. 
He said that I should pass it out. 
He told me that I should get out there, 
in the world, and make “a” mark. 

I am nervous. 
I am small. 
I am just…

My friend...

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Left toothbrushless  mine pilfered along with shampoo,deodorant, razors and other such, found me wasted in Walmart, thieving Gnomes at the last homeless shelter are my suspects. His name tag said Elvis, greeting customers at the starting gate, navigating shopping cart jockeys with cherubs riding...

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Alfie was the first son of a billionaire
Who bought a golden cradle for his son and heir
There was no expense that daddy wouldn’t spare
And perforated ping pong balls didn’t feature there

On Alfie’s one year birthday daddy thought of Alfie’s birth
And wondered what gift he would...

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We all wake up every morning
To a day like no other before
This world is still an experiment
With lots of mysteries to explore

One that's uppermost on peoples' minds
And a question unanswered so far
Is how they get the caramel inside
A Cadbury's Caramilk bar

Or why kamikaze pilots wear...

Continue reading...