Jumpin' Frog
My name is Dan'l Webster
this is my story and I'm stickin' to it
I'm green with a long tongue
wet, slimy skin for a coat.
I eat all sorts of insects
but flies, now there’s a delicacy.
Used to live in a pond
till Jim Smiley took me.
Sure do miss my family
and all my friends.
Had a good job
racing others of my kind.
Jim would bet money
with others of his kind.
I was the best. I could
out hop another for distance
and speed. Twasn't hard as
I was rewarded with flies.
A stranger appeared one day
looking to bet with ole' Jim.
He needed one like me, so
I was left with the stranger.
Whilst Jim went out for another
like me, that stranger filled me
with big round lead balls.
Don't taste like any flies.
Jim came back and bet $40
that I could beat this new
challenger. Well, someone
said go and I couldn't move.
Jim lost his 40 smackers and
was madder than a wet hornet.
When the stranger left, Jim
picked me up and I felt heavier.
He turned me upside down
and I croaked and them metal
balls rolled out. Jim was upset
but couldn't find the stranger.
I never raced in Calaveras County
again. That's my story and I'm
stickin' to it.
They surrounded me
With utter hatred
Flying in sting
Sting yellow jacket
Pain and swelling
Filled my hands
Oh what burning
These brilliant yet
Barbaric creatures
Can inflict upon a soul
My innocent composure
Was just trying to fix
Rotten wood
Devious yellow striped
Whipper smackers
Of ill will do they know?
Obviously or they would
Be equipped with
Some other form
Of defense by design
They say they can
Remember faces
Well two weeks ago
I filled their humble
Cantankerous abode
With foam sealant
Obviously today I
Thought I was safe
Little did I know
Pelted with flying
Carnivorous yellow
And black hellraisers’
They must have
Remembered me
Thank God for advil
And calamine lotion
The war will finish
Tonight at dusk
When my wasp
And hornet killer
Shall take back
My home.
That first cup of coffee in the morning
I describe it as KICKAPOO JOY JUICE
The day doesn't begin until that first sip
When angels start singing and the sun comes out
You realize the world is a beautiful place
You feel like skipping through fields of clover
Singing Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah and throwing out daisies
At times I'm overwhelmed by the amazing response
When total strangers stop me, embrace me
And plant huge smackers on my waiting lips
Yup! KICKAPOO JOY JUICE each morning
Starts my old engine a-humming
Must be careful though, two is my maximum
After that I'm no longer responsible for my actions
There have been times when a third cup of the stuff
Has caused me to touch total strangers
In very inappropriate places
When my advances are happily returned
It usually means they've been into the juice as well
Must leave you now... making my fifth cup
There's no stopping me now!!!!!
One day we were at the pool.
Jumping off the diving board !
That was a big jump.
! They just did belly smackers.
I would not do a belly smacker.
It would hurt.
! That was a perfect dive.
They were running around the pool.
It was very slippery.
! They all fell.
The the life guards were yelling.
The pool was packed everyone was yelling.
Then ! Everyone went silent.
That was the biggest splash ever.
One day we were at the pool.
Jumping off the diving board !
That was a big jump.
! They just did belly smackers.
I would not do a belly smacker.
It would hurt.
! That was a perfect dive.
They were running around the pool.
It was very slippery.
! They all fell.
The the life guards were yelling.
The pool was packed everyone was yelling.
Then ! Everyone went silent.
That was the biggest splash ever.
One day we were at the pool.
Jumping off the diving board !
That was a big jump.
! They just did belly smackers.
I would not do a belly smacker.
It would hurt.
! That was a perfect dive.
They were running around the pool.
It was very slippery.
! They all fell.
The the life guards were yelling.
The pool was packed everyone was yelling.
Then ! Everyone went silent.
That was the biggest splash ever.
I’ve crossed many rivers so cold
am known to be stout and bold
the likes of cheese and crackers
makes me lips go smackers.
The flavor kicks up me nose
like cat nip makes me doze
keeping a stiff upper lip
I’m careful not to slip
I keep some in me pocket
a back up in a gold locket
some for me and some for me cat
she goes lickety split at that.
Only one cheese is called Pastone
Can’t find elsewhere, so I make me own
Vapors of melting cheese I snort
Then smooth over a toasted torte
No recipe to follow on just a trial
poured into jugs to hold for awhile
some pimentos squeezed out to hang
gives it a ting adding a nice tang
across the vast greens of Killarney
I spill out some words of blarney
when I sell me bakeries of fame
quite delicious though just the same.
Sales are rising, which are not surprising
tasty and appealing and quite appetizing,
wrapped in blocks, not yet in slices
mild or sharp taste at the best prices.
Have built a small shop in Kitteny square
wagons coming in from most anywhere
the flavors are labeled and mostly known
buy the best, ask for Pastone
The lion creeps in slowly, stealthily, hyper vigilant, alert.
Her focus on her cubs, wanting them to eat blood red meat tonight.
A young shaky gazelle, stares into the tall grass.
Fear pounds in his heart, he's ready to take flight.
He's heard of the bone-eating smackers who come out at this time of day.
Startled when he realizes how late it has become, and he is alone.
Fearing what he does not know, and hopes to never meet, he starts forward.
Large yellow eyes with a black inset in place of a soul is upon him now.
The cubs will eat tonight.
Written. 4-2-2018. Contest. what Your Poem Needs Is Love Sweet Love
sponsor. Michelle Faulkner
That first cup of coffee in the morning
I describe it as KICKAPOO JOY JUICE
The day doesn't begin until that first sip
When angels start singing and the sun starts to shine
You realize the world is a beautiful place
You feel like skipping through fields of clover
Singing Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah and throwing out daisies
At times I'm overwhelmed by the amazing response
When total strangers stop me, embrace me
And plant huge smackers on my waiting lips
I'd prefer members of the opposite sex
But in a pinch... hmmm!
Yup! KICKAPOO JOY JUICE each morning
Starts my old engine a-humming
Must be careful though, two is my maximum
After that I'm no longer responsible for my actions
There have been times when a third cup of the stuff
Has caused me to touch total strangers
In very inappropriate places
When my advances are happily returned
It usually means they've been into the juice as well
Must leave you now... making my fifth cup
There's no stopping me now!!!!!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Got lotsa love that I share every day
With my friends on Poetry Soup
But I reserve my real true affection
For you Miss Cathie whoop whoop
Love you sweet lady so much it hurts
Want to hold you and plant big smackers
Right on your lips and other places
Some are quite naughty for that matter
Not being specific but one of the places
Is immediately below your neck
Remember last time I touched you there
Nearly swallowed my dentures by heck
Sure like to almost swallow them again
I'm older but remember so well
That joyous tingly feeling down below
Better sit down and rest me a spell
When we're together I'm forever asking
A big favour of you if you will
Will you allow me to plan more big smackers
Till my desires are finally fulfilled
© Jack Ellison 2014
Because you’re beautiful,
from your 5 head to your webbed toes,
Because you’re beautiful,
when you smile, your whole face glows,
Because you’re beautiful
you’re in my dreams all the time,
Because you’re beautiful,
I’m absolutely mesmerized by your eyes,
Because you’re beautiful,
boredom no longer exists,
Because you’re beautiful,
lip smackers should name a taste, Mary’s Lips,
Because you’re beautiful,
I miss you when we’re apart,
Because you’re beautiful,
I wanna be everywhere that you are
Because you’re beautiful,
big problems seem small,
Because you’re beautiful,
I don’t care if I fall
Because you’re beautiful,
and beauty is so much more than just flesh,
You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met
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