Shagged in the back of a shotgun shack
at night by moonlight
peeping past curtains of burlap sack
such a sore sight
surrounded by fields of green
willing as she'd been
tho' torn
she surely wasn't about to be seen
with a child out of wedlock born
so with a bun in the oven
she had her Dad invite he
who did the dirty deed
and plant the seed
the Father-to-be
down south way out on the steading
to shape up show up and in the end
attend a shotgun wedding
we’re ready are you
wonder if it’s mine at all
do you take ~ i guess
Miss Wild
With child
Not wed
To Ted
Dad mad
You cad!
Loads gun
Says, son
Wed her
You cur
If not
Buckshot
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
At a wedding in Kansas, right next to the cake
Was a smaller one meant for the groom.
Very often such cakes sport his favorite teams
Or some hobby of his, we’d assume.
Well in this case, the topping was quite a surprise
For it boasted a real-looking gun
Sitting right on the frosting, as if to announce,
“This is my special way to have fun!”
I was not at this wedding; just looked at the pic
So I’m not sure if it was in jest
But no matter, just seeing that pistol-topped cake,
I’m relieved that I wasn’t a guest!
Pa held shotgun to his head
"Marry her son or you're dead"
"It wasn't me" the lad pled
"Yes it was" she said
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in John Freeman's " Love or Humor" Contest - January 2011
(This is a fictional poem)
I stand here with a shotgun pointed at my head.
If I don't marry this man's daughter, I'm as good as dead.
His daughter is pregnant and somehow he thinks I'm the dad.
I've tried to tell him that I'm not but he won't listen because he's so mad.
He's just itching to pull the trigger because he's really pissed.
I have no choice but to say I do but later I'll get out of this.
When he goes to sleep tonight, I'm going to hotwire his car.
I'm going to drive to the nearest police station and have him put behind bars.
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