Short Rooney Poems

Unique newsman Andy Rooney,
did not look like a George Clooney;
beetling brows grew too much hair,
verbalist extraordinaire.

Copyright, May 17, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson...

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MY MAN MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE CLOONEY
OR BE FAMOUS LIKE ROONEY
BUT HE WILL MAKE ME SWOON
AND IN DARK BE MY MOON

HE MIGHT NOT SING LIKE MAYER
AND LIKE HIM, WON'T BE A PLAYER
BUT HE WILL SURELY BE BRAVER
AND HE WILL LEAVE ME NEVER

TOGETHER WE WILL WEAVE OUR STORY
AND NEVER WILL WE BE WEARY
FOR OUR DAYS WILL BE SWEETER
THAN ALL THERE'S THAT GLITTER...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I have the IQ of Kelly Bundy and the looks of her brother Bud.
When women and I go in the bedroom, they always call me a dud.
I'm such a lousy lover that I make Mickey Rooney look like Fabio.
When I ask the ladies if I can see them again, they tell me where I can go.
I've come to realize that I am not a stud.
My name is Randy but to women my name is mud....

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My stomach is a stadium
give it little food it quarrels
much food it beats drums
little food it complains loudly
no food it throws stones
it shouts at me after meals
blows trumpet when satisfied
and plays saxophone when excited
A stranger thinks it a stadium
Old Trafford Stadium is my stomach
where fans shout, sing, quarrel-
when Wayne Rooney scores a goal
or Didier Drogba misses a penalty...

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A player whose name rhymes with Clooney
Got drunk and then drove - what a loony
Spent the night locked in jail
When released he looked pale
The outlook for him may be gloomy

He’ll get whacked with an enormous fine
But his club won't force him to resign
It would make much more sense
losing his road licence
and he stops drinking lager and wine!

Yesterday UK footballer Wayne Rooney got stopped for drink driving

09-02-17...

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