Short Ratings Poems

Athlete kabob meat to skewer
Olympic games meet the sewer
Those ratings too flat
Create new dangers that
Pander to the TV viewer...

Read More

Media will hook a fish faster than a fisherman,
whatever it takes for ratings, human, spaceman,
jolly green giant if you got the behind to saddle....

Read More

Harry Connick, Junior

Should have been there sooner

American Idol’s ratings had been tanking

But now on his humor they’re banking




*Written May 17, 2014...

Read More

they've catered to crowds riotously angry 
and brimming red hatted stadiums
but for wee places of worship
they're nailed shut with bullchit
it was never about safety, but ratings...

Read More

All over the world 
Innocent men
Women and children 
By the tens of thousands
Being put down

News ratings 
Poverty
Unemployment 
Rhetoric
Way up

Political intelligence
In the twenty first century
So far
Flat...

Read More

Do rubles rain right into his bank?
Tells many lies, can Trump be frank?
Made appointments, but they stank.
His approval ratings again just sank.
Investigated, so gave Comey yank!
Most now think he’s a hopeless wank.


[just having a little fun at Orange Trumplestiltskin)...

Read More

Desirable News
By Franklin Price
7/29/2015
Desirable news, seen on TV,
always bad or seems to be.
Are ratings bad, if news is good?
Haven't tried that, maybe should.

Each of us can change that view.
Do something good that's just from you 
Desirable news, made happily,
and not bad news that's on TV...

Read More

There was a President named Trump
  Whose ratings were given a bump
When the Dems had a pathological desire 
           To get the Man fired
   And turn the place into a dump.




*For those interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage where a new one will appear every second day....

Read More

While the media loves Donald Trump
His mind is an acrid waste dump
He speaks from his ass
His mouth passes marsh gas
Thus he's known to us as Donald Rump


This idiot/moron was the leading story on the news shows for this Sunday.  This is a total waste of time and is mostly about TV ratings.  Go Bernie Sanders (the Trump antithesis)!!...

Read More

Our town had a monkey named Kong

who loved to croon and tweak a song.

   Though notes were a flop
    his ratings soared up,

and won as King of Sing- Along!


................

" “Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” 
- Albert Einstein

LIMERICKS, Old or New! For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Re-post 7/16/2018...

Read More

I’ve got a secret
I’ll tell you that it’s true
It’s not something I regret
But it will be a surprise too

The papers will want to hear 
A raise of your TV ratings it will bring
It will be something they will fear
I will say the nasty thing

The more likes I get on Facebook 
Will make me smile even more
I’ll make them look a bunch of sooks
This will be my best score.

© Paul Warren Poetry...

Read More

I just read a good book, 
I just now seen the movie.
I want to take another look,
At this wonderful movie.

It's about a human and a vampire,
Who fall in love with each other.
Telling my friends, they said I'm a liar,
Vampires and humans can't be with one another.

But I love it very so,
I want to watch it again where it's not bright.
The ratings will never be low,
For this movie and book is called Twilight....

Read More

it seemed like
two tight busted
bloused women
we're going to have

a round about but
a meaningful in
cluded very stout 
woman broke it up

no one wants to watch
this she shouted as the
ratings plummeted about
but as soon as she left set

all that made 
a difference
to what was 
viewed

the two in fued seemed
to fuse together as we
segued to the voice of
Bob Hope singing 

thanks
for the
mamories...

Read More

The ever-faithful friend of Timmy Martin was Lassie.
She was quite a beautiful and intelligent collie.
Lassie seemed to increase her breed's popularity.
Millions tuned in to watch her show on Sunday night.
For many seasons, the show reached a great ratings height.
Collie dogs quickly became a ubiquitous sight.
Lassie's episodes of bravery were not easy to forget.
So many people would want a dog like her for a pet.
...

Read More

If I weren't afraid, I'd work to be immortalized,
The hard works of others, just of being plagiarized,
I'd make it to being so, that they won't even know,
I give my all to do, they'd be glad for what I show,
It is not that they're obtuse, somehow theirs no excuse,
For how can they deduce, it is theirs, not, I produced
I'll make the ratings rise, with my copyright disguise,
And insignificant mice, not in my profit eyes.


Date: 09/07/2019...

Read More

The critics gave it 91,
The audience much lower,
A fact that only would confuse
The average movie-goer.

Though ratings are subjective,
They help us to decide
If certain cinematic feats
Are really worth the ride.

The timing worked and so we went;
To me, it came up short.
My husband, though, concurred with
What the critics did report.

I guess, to me at least, it seemed
To make a lot of sense
That 59’s the score awarded
By the audience....

Read More

Every news media captures horrendous photos with a story
Where has our pride gone as we praise these Lands of Glory 
Is it possible that media ratings have well surpassed the truth 
Where anything goes right or wrong regardless of the proof

===================================
Every time I turn on my computer or TV there is NEVER anything
decent to be said whether it's slamming a candidate or someone 
misspoke instant persecution begins-never ends and I'm tired of it!...

Read More

Images

The images in 
my mind of
verbs mating with pronouns are 
sometimes broadcast on 
TV. On TV: me sucking out and 
not praising aerosol cans to 
make a less money for 
the unnamed company. The pressurised cans are 
bronze, the 
substance released in 
a fine spray are: 
advantageous states or 
positions and 
points earned following 
deuce furthering causes. My too lewd comments of 
their intercourse are 
sometimes broadcast on 
KG751 FM to 
high ratings.

...

Read More

Though photographs, of course, entice
And guide books give their ratings,
Too many people pay the price
With yes and no debatings.

So let me offer my advice -
If you need a vacation,
Though Vegas has the slots and dice,
A better destination

Is Utah, where amazing Bryce
Will leave your senses reeling;
Superlatives will not suffice
To nail what you'll be feeling.

Allow me to be quite concise - 
It really is your duty
To visit; Bryce is twice as nice
As any other beauty....

Read More

To say what you want Donald Trump
when the News thinks their stoning is just.
Makes me think there is freedom of speech.
That it's slim what you'll say and you must.

There's a day that all speech will be hate
if the News has it's say on the air.
For it's ratings decide on their take
as the viewers watch on and don't care.

Honest Abe will go on in his chair
as the mud will go slinging as far.
When our words will mean nothing but script
and his chair will be kicked out to mar....

Read More

Plan on online purchase?
Well, just click on the reviews.
It helps to hear what people say –
What have you got to lose?

Your mind, perhaps, for you’ll find out
Opinions vary widely,
From those described most glowingly
To others penned most snidely.

The bar graph gives percentages
Of how the ratings fare
So follow the conclusions
Or reject them, if you dare.

For everyone’s impressions
Will be different and distinct
And those who thus ignore them
Will be very soon extinct....

Read More