Short Kilt Poems

we had used a kilt
pattern to design a quilt
which was soft as silt...

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he kept his legs crossed
so the mystery of the kilt
would not be revealed...

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Full grain cow hide kilt...
Plastic canoes tend to tilt
Frozen daisies wilt...

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Do you know why Scottish people call it a kilt? 
Because they kilt the last man who called it a skirt!...

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Scottish dancer

In your kilt you twist and turn
to flash your butt - I do discern

Penned 22/11/2015...

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Man skirts fill the scene 
Whining outlawed bagpipes sing
His kilt of plaid green

By Robb A. Kopp
All Rights reserved ©MMX...

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His face turned red while he played
The bagpipes for Tartan Day
Not for lack of air
But people's stares
When the wind blew his kilt away!...

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Dan, Dan, was a popular man
had a plaid for his homeland clan
	his kilt it slipped
	cold breeze it nipped
less popular now than he began...

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Hotels on the Champs-Elysees
Offer rooms where couples can play
Since a Scot named Wilt
Checked under his kilt
And refused to pay a full day....

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there once was a man from Kingsbury
who put on his kilt in a hurry
	in a bit of a flap
	he forgot his jockstrap
a chill wind put him in a flurry...

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A ladies' man named Winston MacWilt
pursued many women to the hilt.
He eyed every skirt
ever ready to flirt.
But he died touching a Scot in a kilt....

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A certain poise, the bagpipes lack
Not being rude, it’s just a fact
The kilt is first-rate
The rest, not so great
Red in the face, squeezing your sack...

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I can no longer zip up my kilt.
Is there something to eat without guilt?
They say salad's a must
but I think it's a bust
because gravy makes the Lettus wilt!...

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Without love the blossom wilts,

the Scot he sags beneath his kilt, 

johnson has no more words to tilt,

Robert Haigh's star is arising...

Don Johnson 31-july-11...

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He went to the dance in his kilt.
The boy knew he was nicely built.
Think of what the girl saw.
When the wind blew, Oh law.
For all that he had didn't wilt!!!!!...

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The Captain's new wife was "true blue"
Whilst he stayed The Wives Club main screw
But rather than pout
When the Captain was out
She serviced his troops two by two...

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A girl on the Tube stared at my crouch 
Her mum sat there and tried not to watch
Then mum's face turned red 
As she softly said,
"She thinks that is where I get my Scotch"...

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There once was a monster called Bess,
Who lived on the shores of Loch Ness.
She was wracked with sudden guilt,
After lifting someone’s kilt,
And said, ‘Hoots mon, what a mess!’...

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In bonnie Scotland wear a kilt
(it seems the thing to do) -
the tartan comes in reds and greens,
and mine's a shade of blue!

written 13th March for Julia's Scottish kilt contest...

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Almost eight-six, that's over the hill
But the Highland Fling, I'm able to do still
As my kilt flips up
One can see I'm no pup
Got wrinkles on my wrinkles, heading downhill...

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As a teller in a bank, I once greeted a man
With a very cheery “good morning ma'am” 
Embarrassment followed
As hard I swallowed
Red faced, I said that kilt got me, hot damn...

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Almost eight-four, that's over the hill
But the Highland Fling, I'm able to do still
As my kilt flips up
One can see I'm no pup
Got wrinkles on my wrinkles, heading downhill...

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A bagpiper ready to play
Forgot his plaid boxers one day
The wind it did blow,
And his kilt it did flow
And put his proud jewels on display! 

2/23/22
Used Poetry soup's syllable counter...

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There was an Irish guy who loved to dance,
when his kilt swung high the ladies would glance,
but snow on St. Patty's Day
made him fall in such a way...
his bruised leprechaun gets no more romance!...

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Well I just turn eighty, that's over the hill
But the Highland Fling, I'm able to do still
As my kilt flips up
One can see I'm no pup
With wrinkles on my wrinkles I'm heading downhill...

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