Short Gobsmacked Poems

"Shine my boots, wench!" Larry said
"Fetch my wine and cheese and bread!
Tidy up my murphy bed! 
Feed the hog and Mr. Ed!
Corn mash for Rhode Island Red!
Why look so gobsmacked by dread?
Did you not say I thee wed?"
"Oh, I said it, until dead"
I confessed, then bashed his head....

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Clean down to the bottom bill 
Smashing gobsmacked cashless
Simply crass wealthy wanting more
The silent till awaits the masses

Pouncing plastic rapist rapture
Stripped!! The global bankers dream!
Control the dough by feckless reign
A reckless chain to pitchforks once again...

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Good-gesture greenthumb gatherers gleaned grain,
gargantuan granary,
grower's great goodwill greeting,
gazillion grade-schoolers, grownups,
gingham-garbed grandmother's,
grievous growling guts gone,
gain gastronomical goodies gardens,
grapes, granola, gourds, gosh!
generosity galore, golly, gobsmacked!
golden godsend...

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Who is driving this bike? Someone yelled in a scream.
Animals were falling off in all directions, this was some dream!
We will probably stop after we crash into something I said.
We were all giggling uncontrollably, our faces were red.

We are making great time! Yelled a mouse or a mole.
Then of course we went flying for we had hit a hole.
Who was driving that bike? We all asked each other.
Laughing like hyenas who had gobsmacked their mother....

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The limerick form IS risqué
It’s bawdy and contains word play
I won’t be put off
By critics who scoff
And shoot off about foul play

I’m gobsmacked, I think it quite fickle
That someone’s upset by a pickle
Although some deem it ‘nawdy’
Limericks can be bawdy
My humour won’t slow to a trickle

I will not be deterred from trying to bring a little humour to people's life and bring a much needed smile. 


01/12/21...

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I mowed my lawn in my red Jimmy Choos
Now there’s dog poop on my new shoes
My lazy neighbor's got an untrained pup
It poops on MY lawn - they don’t clean it up!


The lawn’s dotted with piles of dog muck
I’m gobsmacked in fact I’m dumbstruck
So I’ve ordered them a pooper scooper
I hope they’ll use it on their pesky pooper

Fiction poem - but dog mess is a pet hate of mine!

Dumbstruck Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Charles Messina

08/14/21...

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One day while cleaning inside my flat,
I screamed upon seeing a horrid rat.
I needed a mouser. While thinking of that,
in front of me there appeared a large cat
as if out of nowhere! Imagine that.
He found the huge rat, then caught it and spat
its dead head and body onto my mat.
Gobsmacked was I when he asked, “Wanna chat?
I’m Merlin. Unlike the Cat in the Hat,
my magic is "meow -good". I’m never a brat!”

Oct. 17, 2022
for Mystic Rose Rose's Merlin The Magic Cat Poetry Contest...

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