Short Baloney Poems

Heavy sigh and moan

There's too much spam on my phone

So leave me alone...

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got theses feeling
got me reeling
for you  have this
come lets kiss and kiss
this is noe baloney
AM HORNY...

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Your counter is my hunting ground
But you get mad and pull me down.

              Try leaving that baloney out again....

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Go Between Makes Sandwich
by James Edward Lee Sr.

Peanut butter bread
Mustard, baloney, catsup
Go between sandwich

12/14/17...

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There once was a fellow named Jack
 On meat he never would  snack
 Vegetables only
 No ribs or baloney
 But he sure  loved  those Big Macs!...

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There was a Wee One called Maloney
Who never ate anything but baloney
He soon came to find
He could no longer climb
Up onto his Shetland pony...

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The humble cheese has a secret superpower
Its gooey glory conquers cauliflower
Melting with glee for fried baloney
The better half of macaroni

8/20/21...

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The message they mete out is strong
It's cooked at the top but smells wrong
This cursed wurst to eat 
Slice of life that looks neat  
A baloney treat for the throng...

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Beethoven's  Symphony
Ode To Joy is like a pizza with pepperoni
Smothered in mozzarella
Made by an Italian fella  
Named Giovani and that's no baloney...

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Election time is upon us once more

Politicoes spew excreta galore

Promising the moon and stars

Even far away Red Mars

Seems we've heard that old baloney before...

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Anatomical Date

She was primped and properly tony
prime rib encasing baloney
a troubling thing
anatomical bling
for all of her assets were phony


John G. Lawless
©2.2.2018...

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There was a young fellow named Tony,
Who wouldn't eat his macaroni.
He hollered out, "Hey,
Take this slop food away.
Just bring me a stick of baloney."

Written; November 14, 2014...

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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she didn't know what to do
They ate pasta and rice cakes and lot's of baloney
Too bad she didn't know about alimony....

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They can print money, when there’s a big dept
for us that’s a crime, and we’d end up doing time

It smells of baloney, with this concept
it’s for them to shine, so they can have their dime...

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baloney I say to the latest political ballyhoo
no one gets shot with a high power in Timbuktu
and they get more than an ear scratch if they do
I roll my eyes and scoff at the crazy new ballyhoo...

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Pity poor cheap old Adolfo Santiago Minestrone
  Gagged on week-old baloney and congealed macaroni


        April 22, 2019
Entry in 'An Epitaph to Make us Laugh 2' contest
     Sponsor:  Jesse Rowe...

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Balerethon

A flying
Saucer
A baloney
Sandwich
Dancing
To
The
Tick
Of
Your
Clock
Alien
Stepping
Proudly
Gracefully
Through
The
Hoops
Of 
Brooklyn
Night
Morning
Liftoff
Leftoff
Dream...

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A Dessert for All Nations




Now that China says, Italy caused the virus baloney...

Why not calm down with a cold dish of....

Luscious, Italian Spumoni!




                        11-20-2020...

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A February baker is named Joanie.
This Joanie Woanie has a funny boney.
She sells a cake or pie.
Her price is way too high.
Joanie Woanie is a phony baloney.

Robert Pettit for Linda-Marie’s contest
...

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My mommy, this sweet old soul, told me this way back when
Chew your food thirty-two times, to help with digestion
Don't know if it's true
How's about you
Thought it baloney, till my bowels threatened insurrection...

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Baloney, bumfuzzle, fiddledeedee
Taradiddle, gardyloo, snickersnee
Gobbledygook, gardyloo, tickle me,
Hullabaloo, cattywampus hogwash hoo-ha
Claptrap, collywobbles ballyhoo brouhaha!



~A Brian Strand 4 or 5 line contest....

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Man-made Climate change now dogma, must not question nor belie
'Debate is over! close down research! it is heresy to deny'
If that's what we now call science, we've caught an intellectual cold
For it's
"Phoney baloney, plastic banana, good time rock-n-roll"...

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To go in a circular, spiral, curved
Or crooked course
Breeze, zephyr, puff or bluster
Claptrap, horwash or baloney
Tornado, Cyclone or a disaster

No matter how you put it
If your vehicle stays on the road
In Kansas, South Dakota or Wyoming
You have more than met your goal...

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Seriously?


Give me a break! I am not that gullible!
What's this baloney you're trying to feed me?
Most ridiculous story I ever heard!
Do you truly think I was born yesterday?



Submitted on April 2, 2019 for contest BABY FACE WHAT'S YOU THINKIN 2_PICTURE 1 sponsored by JAMES EDWARD LEE SR...

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There once was a man named Tony
his stories were a bunch of baloney,
though he seemed quite sincere
yet a bit cavalier
because his stories changed every year.

Well funny as this may sound
Tony's friends all gathered round,
for his stories when told
were outrages and bold
quite funny was Tony's baloney!...

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