Short Baby Oil Poems

Peanut oil begins from under the soil,
Sunflower oil is distilled by the boil.
We use these to cook,
I thought then I shook.
By gosh! How do they make baby oil?...

Read More

A wrestler whose first name is Bill
Wears tights (but he’s over the hill)
He shoves down a sock
To enhance his cock
It sure gives the ladies a thrill!

Now Bill’s a really proud macho guy
And keeps grey hair at bay with black dye
Even though he’s a man
He wears lots of fake tan
And baby oil is in constant supply


For Phyl with love from FC xx

05/06/17...

Read More

I am a sucker for
musical comedies, musical chairs,
and decorated music boxes.

I am a sucker for
baby oil, baby blankets, homemade
baby booties, and babies.

I am a sucker for glitter,
glitziness, and glitter glue.

I am a sucker for shiny things
Shiny bumpers, shiny windows, 
shiny lakes, shiny snow, and shiny stars

I am a sucker for games
Monopoly, Cadoo, Life, Chess, 
Uno, Old Maid.

I guess I am just a sucker....

Read More

Water in a bubble bath
Forms a tide
A ring of salt
When the plug is pulled 
If baby oil is used 
And the towel won't dry
If it is folded up for aesthetic effect 
And the milk goes sour
And the butter melts if they are not put back in the fridge
Dishes don't wash themselves 
And laundry goes foisty if left in the machine 
I know this and so do you
Yet you persist 
Well played mam 
Check mate
You win
But I love the smell of bleach on skin...

Read More

In my youth, summer meant spending my days at the beach,
Trying to get that ultimate dark tan,
A large bottle of baby oil always within reach,
Laying out and sizzling like bacon in a pan!

In my mature years the beach is still a lot of fun,
I spread my towel evenly upon the sand,
Staying under the umbrella’s shade and never in the sun,
With my bottle of SPF 50 always close at hand!

written on 2/21/16 for "Two Lenses" contest sponsored by Sara Kendrick...

Read More