marionette of grief
They birthed me in a house of screams, Where shadows stitched my fevered dreams— No lullaby, no gentle womb, Just rusted chains and cradle's tomb.
A mother’s voice? A serpent's hiss. A father's touch? A clenched, cold fist. Each lull was laced with sharpened lies, Each smile a mask, each hug a vice.
I suckled rage from
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Categories:
self hate, abuse, anger, angst, conflict,
Form: Rhyme
the Soul
the soul
that thinks it has a right to my body.
Ungrateful—
it does nothing but complain.
And really, what right does it have?
It has it too good—so good
that, what?—
it just needs something to cry about?
Even if the pain is manifested,
even if the hurt is self-inflicted,
it’s never enough just to be happy.
No—
it craves, it aches, it dreams,
only to shatter
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Categories:
self hate, evil, grief, hate, horror,
Form: Free verse
The Past
I never learned anything from my younger self,
I knew I needed therapy meds and a lot of help
Thoughts from my past are creeping up on me fast
As a child of many many children in the family
I was born third so no one gave a damn about me!
17 years old I saw my dad cheat on
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Categories:
self hate, depression, pain,
Form: Free verse
People-pleaser
Melt me across a sidewalk and walk all over me.
I hope I at least smooth out the cracks.
I hope one less person trips over because of me.
Crave away my flaws and make me into the most beautiful sculpture.
I hope no one sees my shavings.
I hope you look at me in awe.
Burn me when you want
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Categories:
self hate, anxiety, emotions, feelings, hate,
Form: Free verse
My Silent Companion: A Sonnet for Shadow
In depths of solitude, I stand forlorn,
With shadow as my sole and steadfast friend.
By society shunned, from kinship torn,
I ponder on life's edge, its bitter end.
Upon the bridge, where thoughts of ending bloom,
My shadow's form beside me makes its stand.
This grim moment, midst the gathering gloom,
I gasp, “l'm not alone in this bleak land!”
For shadow's
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Categories:
self hate, anger, angst, dark, depression,
Form: Sonnet
Fighting Rumors That Hurt
Words encouragement
Bounce off with no meaning
Meaningless rumors
Absorbed like a dry sponge
Torments from others
Like a raging flood
Face hidden by his hoodie
He pretends to ignore
Rumors & torments
Scarred and torn by the words
He’ll fade away slowly
Not a single soul noticing
No emotions at all after his family's betrayal
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Categories:
self hate, 12th grade, bullying, dark,
Form: Free verse
Vultures
I'm something I'm not proud to be,
but what if this something has always been me?
What if the monster that crawls in me is just my heart?
What if it explodes before I tear it apart?
My ruins will fly,
like vultures in the sky.
Picking on the dirt they find,
of the ground and my dead body's hind.
I tore papers
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Categories:
self hate, anger, angst, conflict, death,
Form: Rhyme
What I Have Left Far Behind
I walked knowingly into the trap
as a boat sails over Charybdis.
Afraid of showing tell-tale marks
up and down my arms.
I gave in to the lesser evil,
went astray, searching indiscriminately for an escape.
My search lead me to a certain type of website.
Taking refuge in my libido,
I removed my clothes, alone.
My body laid bare, for the asking.
My hands
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Categories:
self hate, abuse, addiction, body, change,
Form: Free verse
Freak
Should I be reminded of being a freak
I shall fall onto my knees
And cry before I break
But try before I wake
From this sleep so blinding black
I will look for what I lack
A sense of beauty on my face
The only sight of a disgrace
They see me as a freak
I must have had a leak
I cry and
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Categories:
self hate, 8th grade, anger, body,
Form: Rhyme
The Mirror
O look in the mirror
Who stares back is never the same
We should change
Not stagnate
Yet I see different people
Those who I am proud of
Ashamed
Disgusted
Hate
Despise
I never know who will look back
She looks a bit like me
But that's only on the surface
That loathing runs deep
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Categories:
self hate, anxiety, hate, self,
Form: Free verse
Incarceration's Abyss
There are so many trapped
and tortured souls in this
desolate place.
We are ghosts, screaming for freedom,
darklings, crying for light.
Never sure how to grasp onto
something invisible,
without strangling it.
Even before the cold bars
made of murk and gloom
there was no hope,
only bleakness.
Now "lost'' takes on
a greater, deeper meaning
for us here.
Lost in the abyss of incarceration,
groping for strands
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Categories:
self hate, confidence, corruption, freedom, sorrow,
Form: Free verse
About To Hit Midnight
it's about to hit midnight.
I'm in the bath crying. I'm crying not because the cuts
I just made sting like mad as I hit the water, but because
I feel disgusting and angry and sad all in one.
I had a horrible nightmare last night about Jack and what he did.
I woke up knowing it
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Categories:
self hate, abuse, anger, body, child
Form: Free verse
That Girl
For once we want to feel content
With the story the universe chose for us
And the person we were born and meant to be
We’re tired of longing
To be like that girl
To be like the girls on instagram and pinterest
Who have aesthetic feeds
Always put together and neat
Everything about them screams
Perfect
From
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Categories:
self hate, confidence, emotions, social, youth,
Form: Free verse
The Day You Left
May 30 was the day you left
You took my heart like a nigh time theft
Heart so broken I couldn't find a cure
Narcotics and Alcohol helped me endure
Smoke in my lungs gave me peace
Clouded the memory of when you decided to leave
It made everything seem alright
But your memory never stayed behind
Nights of smoking with the skunk
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Categories:
self hate, absence, addiction, anxiety, heartbreak,
Form: Rhyme
Wolfgang
Wolfgang sits alone in a Berlin bar
Plying drink to drink's still darker state,
Depressed, alone, and full of hate
For what he has become.
Young backpack enters and with uncertain
Tongue a conversation starts, until late
Drinking talk is done and Wolfgang must
Depart, but bids young backpack home
With prospects of a sheltered night and promise
Of
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Categories:
self hate, angst, depression, drink, hate,
Form: Free verse
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