Long Self hate Poems

I don't think it's just me.
I find myself challenged to change LeftBrain cognitive beliefs,
languaged abstractions of personal feelings,
perhaps because it is not possible to change Right Brain's
Elder feelings of co-passionate trust
where dipolar co-arising positive pleasure
is...

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Finding a new hiding place
the grass cutters cherish
not taking advantage is deemed extremely foolish.

Taking note of the lady who seems Scottish 
and protected by her beauty and charisma 
is a situation meant for me to...

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(21st century pearly white prosthetics,
restored jaw bar wah key) 

Aye noel hunger bristle,
and when false teeth soak at night 
     in tandem with stubby facial gristle
har reckon noah kisses
 
 ...

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Where do I start? Ha! I've lost my cool.
Do beg my pardon - I'm a blubbering fool.  
I'm here on behalf of the Soul Deep Express -
To interview you in the hope you'll confess....

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Why do we feel increasingly difficult conflicts
create strong-rooted energy?

And depressingly BusinessAsUsual
penetrated 
exhumed
exhausted
extracted
distracted by runaway toxic chaos?

Yesterday,
on my way to a deep rooted tree and shrub nursery
half-way across Connecticut's Route 1 made-over shoreline
my youngest NativeAmerican RightBrain...

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Yang insists on consistent deductively reasoned,
exegetically Orthodox Business As Usual,
truth of logical proof,

while Yin invites every bit of information
into not win/lose inconsistent
inductively-heuristically resonant
eisegetically polycultural-multisystemic win/win orthopraxis
proportionally rhythmed and symmetrically syntaxed
beautiful trust of ecotherapeutic nutritional discernment
of...

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I sleep no more and live in constant shame, 
living on the edge with only desolation to blame.
I exist just to suffer with remorse and regret, 
for all those childhood touches I shan’t forget. 

Blood...

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i
I sleep no more and live in constant shame,
living on the edge with only desolation to blame-
I exist just to suffer with remorse and regret,
for all those childhood touches I shan’t forget.

Blood rushes through my...

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This tale is a grim tale, so you must beware
It's about a man living in despair.
This tale is sad & filled with gloom
But you'll see the pain in his heart very soon.
You'll see his anguish,...

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He was never a dad,
not even when he lived there
He was always mad
He would just yell & swear

Of his family he wasn't proud
Pride was never seen
He was just controlling & loud
crushing your self-esteem

He was simply...

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Vitriolic scathing psychological malevolent jujitsu
cruelly, fiendishly, incriminating
lambasting opprobrium rue
teenly dished out to yours truly

mechanically engineered hatred to stew
when passive aggression fostered corked,
where self destruction grew
tens of decades ago, when this then
much younger match chew

Scott doubted,...

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People ask me a lot why do I write
Well...Pain is Lyrics am I right
It constricts my heart ever so tight
I try to break the hold with all my might
But the pain is 2 strong
In this...

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When will it stop, I often sit and wonder
This pain I have inside, shaking my soul like thunder.
To figure it out, I must dig deep down inside
And unmask the secret that I have tried so...

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Another day, life without purpose:
Beaten,
Uneaten,
Tossed aside.

I want the receipt back for this life:
Return it,
Get the money,
Buy a 38-gauge trip to the end. 

You gave this life to me God.
Once given, forever relinquished.
It is mine.
You let...

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I have traded in my broken wings,
Replaced them with these shiny horns,
Knocked my dusty halo to the ground.
Lost my love so what's the good in me?
Still crying these tears over you.
They have become acid killing...

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I've finally found my road to redemption, despite getting lost a few times
Through the tears shed and blood shed, I  wasted time wishing I could rewind 
There's still some road blocks and obstacles, the...

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have you ever done something in the past 
and the guilty feelings today still last?
do you wish that you could just turn back time?
replay your actions and rewrite your lines?
for guilt is a burden that...

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Selfishly or        
          helplessly 
As I lay here internally beat
Battered and bruised full of defeat 
My pillow so wet...

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Darkness
Everywhere I looked
I searched long and hard
But the light I couldn’t find
I tried
I tried
But there was no escape
From the abyss of self-hate

Crumbled on the cold hard floor
I reached out
For softness and warmth
But was greeted with...

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Before the mirror he stood and gazed, another soul sent to their grave, he needed time to
contemplate, at whose hand had they met their fate?

Is there an evil that in him thrives, urging that he...

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Being smacked down
Before being allowed to get back up again
Taught me something very valuable about love:
 
it isn’t always a cliché
 
Starting at age five you began to tell me I wasn’t good enough
For anything...

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the soul
that thinks it has a right to my body.
Ungrateful—
it does nothing but complain.

And really, what right does it have?
It has it too good—so good
that, what?—
it just needs something to cry about?

Even if the pain...

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(okay, yukon axe me whatsapp pinning, 
     though beep pre spired, cuz mess sigh key
     threads experience didst rub burr raw 
     as...

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When he first took her on a date he had gotten her roses,
When he messed up he’d buy her roses,
When she would cry at nights wondering if he’d come home he'd enter with a vase...

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BBroken in half
the battered moon
hung dejected in the gloom
in the gloom of Prodigal Bay
the ending of a vital day.
The day I found my Father's son
the Golden Boy,the only one
to ever make my father smile
a child...

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