Short Self Hate Poems

Hate me all you want
I guarantee you that you
won't beat my self hate...

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If judgement is blind
and perception can't decide
could self hate exist?...

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Poor, self-indulgent
now left with self-guilt, self-hate
alone to relate...

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i tell myself i love me
and then i break my heart
i ask for forgiveness
and it restarts

i tell myself i love me
and i treat myself well
until i make one mistake
then i treat me like hell...

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Take your being
out of existence 
you are not needed.
Painted the younger minds
with doubt,
self hate,
and hopelessness,
so full of darkness.
Cast yourself aside,
nothing but scum.
Poison the flesh.
Kill the mind.
Smash the heart.
Trash the soul.
...

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O look in the mirror
Who stares back is never the same
We should change
Not stagnate
Yet I see different people
Those who I am proud of
Ashamed
Disgusted
Hate
Despise
I never know who will look back
She looks a bit like me
But that's only on the surface
That loathing runs deep...

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Washed away sitting in my bedroom 
Windows sit open flowers can't bloom

Endless procedures continue to resume
Can't live a normal life with a dirty room

Watch my mind begin to sit and unfold
Logic doesn't matter so I catch a cold

Forget to shower again today
Self hate takes over and I fade away...

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I still feel lost,
yet sort of found.
I am so confused
Like im torn in two
torn by good and bad
The feelings of love and hate
The war inside
so painful
The self pity that comes of pain
the feeling of being useless
not being able to do any thing right
oh the self hate
the shame
the pain
the pity...

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I’m really very sorry if I am awful
Didn’t mean to sound so dreadful
I didn’t mean to shout at you
You know I love you with a love that’s true

 I am sorry if I sounded so demanding
I think I could use a bit of self-changing
And if I fail it would decide my fate
Or else I would only live in self hate...

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How many times
Must she destroy herself,
Before she runs out of pain?

How many times 
Must she cry to herself,
Before she's lost to sadness?

How many times 
Must she starve herself,
Before she runs out of self-hate?

How many times 
Must she blame herself,
Before she's lost to madness?

-ARI...

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I want to feel again,
I want to be myself again,
I want the pain to leave my body,
I want the self hate to leave my body,
I want to leave my body.

The window is open,
I lean out,
I take the leap,
I land on my feet,
Like always.

For now I do it for a high,
Perhaps one day I'll do it to end this life....

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I can't resist evertthing called temptation
Its contagious like flu
I sometimes fall like a child
But don't call Me a fool
Even if I know its not cool
Its my past I no longer live there
It all new here
I hope you can see it clear
Am no longer the good for nothing ben
Am all changed
Free from the den of self hate....

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the thoughts in this demented mind... the pain only heard in silent cries. her mask was brilliant, hiding her tormented soul. on the outside she was strong as a bull. compliments to her personality and optimism made it easier to accept the criticism. on the inside she was ridden with self hate it all made it harder just to wait....

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Words encouragement
Bounce off with no meaning
Meaningless rumors
Absorbed like a dry sponge
Torments from others
Like a raging flood
Face hidden by his hoodie
He pretends to ignore
Rumors & torments
Scarred and torn by the words
He’ll fade away slowly
Not a single soul noticing
No emotions at all after his family's betrayal
...

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Perfection holds a greater name 
Defining whats not yours
Aware of wonder gone untamed 
With what was pure before

Lurking in the shadows gate
The mind un opens doors
Fear of love with driven hate 
Your heart is left unsure


Anger with a desperate take
Taints all you knew before
Leaving you to your self hate 
That boils in your core...

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Eyes,
They haunt me,
As if I were a murderer, 
The eyes of a million victims,
Victims of my self-torture,
Of my self-hate,
Of my lies,
Of the life I’ve been living
Regardless of others,
Regardless of myself.
My reflections distorted
By bloodshed and tears,
I hold your picture close to my heart,
I whisper to my unseeing eyes
I love you...

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Intolerance
when we are so indigent in love
for others they
appear obtuse
their every remark
egregious to our ear.
It is a human weakness.

Intolerance
the delirium of self,
a delicate imbalance between
ego and self-hate
that one can mediate with patience
to bring the awakening
of understanding
a heart to tolerate
and the blessing of God to
consecrate.

9/5/19...

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Said I did
Lies told through
The pursing of my lips
Outwardly living
Deep within the soul
Anxious falsehoods
Birthing down
Inward my darkness
Festers out of control
Truth forgotten
So lies become
The inevitable
Truth
Said I did
Becoming more
Than real
Creating monsters
Under my bed
I hide there too
Arm wrapped
In cold cloth
Of a sickness
Born out of self hate...

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Self inflictions,
trying to deal with the pain....
but it is not working any more,
something stronger,
but will that work or is my
only option death?
Deep cuts,
leaving marks,
now feeling ugly and unpretty,
maybe that is why no one loves me...
Self Hate,
I don't want to continue living my life this way,
but I have no one to reach out to,
no one who understands my pain....

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While I slept , the world kept turning 
I dunno why 
I just know it to be true 

Maybe tonight while I sleep it will stop and I will be carried off into a unknown destination 
A place where there is not more self hate 
Somewhere where my mind can stop asking questions I have no answer too

Maybe tonight I can find peace 

But until then 
The world will keep turning 
And I will keep wondering why...

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At last I know the time as come for all of us to think as one
this is the time to stop self hate this is the time to celebrate
what I know for sure I love life this much I adore see we have


the power to change the world for every little boy and girl
I know life is short life can hurt life can cut don't give up
what I want to see is happiness for you and me 



At last 


Copyright@October2008...

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I’m covered by the dark,
and on my arms I carry the devils mark.
Shadows yelling and bubbling from within,
their torment makes me want to claw at my own skin.
Demons shriek in my ear and refuse to fade,
Their claws slicing into my skin like razor blades.
Blood trickles free as I gasp for God’s help,
my arm covered in the marks of hell.
It is not sorrow that causes their shouting,
it is self hate and self doubting....

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The Dread to Love
The pain to kiss
those lips so soft 
The sparks it brings

The dread the joy
so scared
so painful
the want of love

The cost in smoke
the pleasure it brings
the self hate I hate
for myself the pain

little joy comes of this
only pain and confussion
The doubt gets worse 
the love goes dim

It fades as if it was 
never there

how harsh
how true
the world
so cruel, so harsh
the pain...

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There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
There was no tunnel.
Only the vast emptiness that filled my heart.

There was loneliness to keep me company,
Self-hate to direct my path,
But no way out.

Death will not due.
Righteousness is out of reach.
Where then, is my escape?

In my darkest hour I cried,
‘I am tired, I have failed, let me rest!’
To the unyielding abyss,
My will I surrender.

My light is out....

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I'm something I'm not proud to be,
but what if this something has always been me?
What if the monster that crawls in me is just my heart?
What if it explodes before I tear it apart?
My ruins will fly,
like vultures in the sky.
Picking on the dirt they find,
of the ground and my dead body's hind.
I tore papers to calm myself.
The only relief i got was none.
So i took the blade and carved myself,
and all it gave me was fun.
-ag

...

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