Road Hog Poems | Examples

Kamikaze Karma

A Kamikaze peddler 
Who follows his nose 
fluorescent green Lycra
A middle finger he shows

Slower than a snail
As wide as truck
Forget the highway code
He pushes his luck.

Side by side they pedal
Three or four deep
Then they become violent 
If you give them a beep

They own the road 
and there’s no mistake 
Zip through red lights
No prisoners they take

Danger personified
Full speed ahead
And then they wonder
Why motorists see red.

The bike’s abandoned
He washes his hands
Peels off his Lycra
He’s got urgent plans

Jumps in his car
To go somewhere fast
A slight incline
He just can’t pass
In front is a pedlar
And It’s Karma at last.

David Cox 11/05/25

Woman in Corvette

she smiles with glee
as i see her
crappy road hog

Road Hog Blues

To the unknown sports car driver
Who caused us so much fright
May the roads be full of traffic
When you attempt to turn right.
May you spend many hours
Constantly being stuck
Behind a series of slow moving
Wide loaded trucks
May all the traffic lights
Be stuck at stop
And no comfort stations
When you need a pit stop.

May there be many road works
On your every single trip
May every pair of your trousers 
Develop a jammed fly zip
May your ears fill with wax
May your sinuses explode
Any non lethal condition 
That keeps you off the road.
May your testosterone levels
Very quickly plummet and drop
And all your sexual urges 
Come to an abrupt stop

The way that you drive
The last thing we need
Is for you to be able
To continue to breed.
I may just be a little biased
Mr Dangerous Road Hog
But i feel you should be
Treated like a rabid dog.
If you live the rest your life 
The same way that you drive
It would probably be better
If you really weren’t alive.

Pet Metaphors

Top  Dog
Road Hog


Posted and created : 27 August 2021

Contest : FOOTLE FINALE

Sponsor : Brian  Strand

A Hotdogging Road Hog

I am a careful driver who stays in my lane
Except when I think doing so would be insane
Like when a crazy fool
Is stubborn as a mule
And has an ego that is totally inane

I humbly and wisely take the high road...except
When another driver is doubtlessly inept
I'm not the one who crashed
and don't need to be bashed
Do not assume I am wrong, when I am adept

A driver who thinks he's better is a road hog
Some folks might even consider him a hotdog
Mouthing off like he's right
Like a poet on a site
Bragging like a fat bullfrog, squatting on a log

Darling, Were the Young Ones

Police state, time of hate, council estate, life scar, stolen car, no fun, drug run, hard to sleep, cider cheap, benefits cut, sexy ****, home alone, methadone, gang culture, vulture, mountain bike, no do like, pit bull dog, road hog, bobbly hat, two time ****, gypsy fight, scared at night, hooligan, bad man, fool, game of pool, alcohol pop, community cop, do not point, smoke joint, up the tub, youth club, dirty stop out, trout, five high, do not cry, destitute, prostitute, bad luck, facebook, training shoe, no clue, perplex, free sex, baseball bat, teapot hat, no cash, good laugh, bling blang, fight in gang. Unclean, do ya know what a mean

MUM, just going out for a while to talk to my friends, have you got some money

Jimmy Carter 5

JIMMY CARTER
There's so many shortages
we don't know what to do
we're outa gas and coffee beans
and outa money, too.
The congress hasn't been much help
and peanuts just won't do,
so Jimmy please be good for us, 
and we'll be good for you!
Well my car's a little bit
extravegant, I know,
it's got an air conditioner
and 440 makes it go!
And every time I step on it
it pours the gas right through
and congress doesn't like my car,
but they drive guzzlers, too!
Well Jimmy Carter's leading us from desperation
and he's trying to save the family car
but the road hog is a gasser
and the gas ain't no cheaper
at the rate that we're goin now---we won't go far!
          © ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet

My Lincoln Log Horn Limericks

My Lincoln Log Horn Limericks

I never was a railroad line or a road hog;
Should see what I read in a recent blog;
Be more direct;
Cause ripple effect;
Start making roads using a Lincoln Log.

On Lincoln Log idea instantly did pounce;
Not only would there be a blatant bounce,
For those educated,
Which way situated,
Would become extremely bigger once by once.

Then another tremendous thought on me fell;
Railroad system seemed much easier to sell,
After further inspection,
Best is same direction;
Presumed to lay down Lincoln Logs parallel. 

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

You Should Through Trump Out Horn Haiku

You Should Through Trump Out

When you are in doubt,
You Should Always Through Trump Out;
Start to twist and shout.

Has he really been a road hog
Or a Republican Demagogue
Who drains up likes to clog
Gets lost in fog or much smog
We should run over like a bump in a log.

Jim Horn

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx

Good Neighbor Rick's Lab Dog

Good Neighbor Rick's Labrador Dog

They were kidding by saying Rick was a road hog
And you should be sure to see his adorable dog
Searching up and then down street everywhere
With pounds of superb energy always to spare.

Rick's leaving to see a ECU game today
While his delirious dog would only get in the way
So being nice next door neighbor I have been
His back door by him was unlocked to let me in.

Of course you know for something like goodness sack
I will have to take dastardly dog out for a potty break
And how he does things has certain way and style
Of running here and there for quite a long while.

Improperly out to pasture, dog will end up putting me
Now that I am all tired and worn out as can be;
For me, many more surprises Rick's dog has in store
Which I learned is why they call him a lovely Labrador. 

Not sure if he is a she or she is a he or maybe a banshee
hehe. Or for that matter, what dog's name is either.
ECU is East Carolina University in Greenville, NC I think.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn

Nr Hams For Lambs

(Can you guess which Sheep/lamb nursery rhymes
I’ve parodied with these three piggy rhymes?)

1. Oink oink, white pig, have you any pork?
No WAY, Mister! Drop your fork!
You think you’re takin’ bacon? In a pig’s eye!
You’ll have to drag me kicking from my pig’s sty!

2. Sullivan Slime has sold his swine
To a butcher man named Kevin.
They’re gone from his home, no more to roam.
Let's hope they're in hog heaven!

3. Hilda had a big fat hog, big fat hog, big fat hog.
Hilda had a big fat hog; its snout was cute and pink.
And everywhere it went with her, went with her, went with her,
And everywhere it went with her, it made an awful stink.

To hide its smell, she used her car, used her car, used her car.
To hide its smell, she used her car to take it near and far.
And since on freeways it was hauled, it was hauled, it was hauled,
And since on freeways it was hauled, a “road hog” it was called.


For the Nursery Rhyme Contest of  Debra Squyres

Where the Meat Meets the Street

The motorcycle rooooooooared~~~~~
Like a ravenous lion 
	Over fresh kill, prancing, charging, pacing
It
	Moved through the hoard
Of migrating tourists, frightening the tamer
	More passive vagabonds
Lumbering
	Forward
		On cruise-control
The nameless helmeted driver
Melded with his machine,
	Head down. Spine arched, 
arms extended on the throttles~~
Blue-jeaned thighs embrace the chasse
A lovers grip..
	His forward charge parted the air
A back draft peeled the Harley black T-shirt from
His 	winter-white skin.
Spring had arrived late to New England.
Better late than never,
	The road hog squealed 
	Sex merely a throbbing growl away
As our lance less Lothario leaves
His own testosterone trail
	In an asphalt hail
		On the road north.

The Sheepish Dog

Always at the end of his jokes
She heads off to visit her folks
Being a blonde is no fun
So off she does run
For sometime away from her bloke

So into the country she heads
This blonde who is now a brunette 
But on the road she does meet
A woolly flock off nice sheep
As she slams on the anchors in sweat

To the shepherd she offers to ask
How many you have is my task
If I guess it dead right
I take one home tonight
As she hopes to lose this blonde mask

She counts as she guesses bang on
There is one hundred and seventy one
Slowly looking around
She takes the one sitting down
Feeling shes on a home run

Now the shepherds been left so agog
Amazed at this brunette road hog
Her shade of hair he has guessed
Birth blonde you are blessed
It's not a sheep you have, it's my dog

Meaner Than a Junk Yard Dog

You’re sure to get the meaning 
of, “Meaner than a junkyard dog”.
It makes you want to run, not jog;
to avoid a severe creaming.

If you dis your girl by screaming,
ranting, raving like a road hog.
You’re sure to get the meaning 
of, “Meaner than a junk yard dog”.

If toward lying you are leaning,
think twice, tell the true story.
You don’t want it to get gory.
Time is over for verbal preening.
You’re sure to get the meaning.  

© Jun 03 2010 For Jared’s contest “The Rondel”

Road Hog

(I got the idea for this poem when I was watching a TV show yesterday.)

Because of a roadhog, my son is dead.
He was only fifteen and now he has no more years ahead.
I was trying to drive my dying son to the hospital on that horrible day.
A man in front of me in an Oldsmobile wouldn't get out of the way.
I honked my horn time after time but he wouldn't let me pass.
I just saw his car at a diner and I'm going to kick his ___.
The doctors said if I had gotten my son there sooner, he wouldn't have died.
I'm going to go in this diner and invite that piece of trash outside.
He'll be in a wheelchair when I'm done.
He should be dead instead of my son.

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