Ranted Poems

Time Waits for No One

Time waits for no one. Isn’t that great?
If it waited on us, it would end up too late.

We think we’re the master of our time controlled realm,
But Time is the faster man at the helm.
What we witness now is already gone.
When? Where? and How? is the ultimate con.

When we’re young and naïve, we set ourselves up,
For we often believe we can measure the cup.

We sip and we dine never hearing the chime,
Never drawing the line between work and home time.
And what of the child we lose to the hours
Of days and months filed in Time’s secret towers?

We wake to each day. Isn’t it great?
And know we rely on Time’s ceaseless wake.

Take nothing for granted. Time is the king.
It’s what poets have ranted and what we all sing.
Life is for living. Don’t worry about time.
Ask what you’re giving. Hand someone a dime.

Keep hold of your dreams and be sure that you share.
Send loved ones some moonbeams, safe journeys through prayer.

“Time waits for no one” does not have to be
The mantra that traps you, but sets you free.

Gargamel’s Lament

Deep in his lair with a scowl and a sneer,
Gargamel grumbled, "They're still not here!"
He plotted and paced, he ranted and swore,
Yet Smurfs slipped away like they had before.

Azrael yawned, unimpressed with the plan,
Another bad scheme from a not-so-great man.
"Turn them to gold? Make Smurf stew?"
But every attempt just fell right through!

He set up a trap with a cunning disguise,
Dressed as a granny with twinkling eyes.
But Smurfs just laughed and skipped away,
Leaving him fuming the rest of the day.

He brewed up a potion, bubbling and blue,
Chanting a spell—then POOF! He flew!
Straight through the chimney, out to the trees,
Landing face-first with a swarm of bees.

So Gargamel sighs, as he always must,
His dreams of victory crumbling to dust.
For no matter the trick, the chase, or the strife,
The Smurfs will outsmurf him—such is his life!

Emergency Contact

If I got hit by a car 2 years ago,
I would’ve called you.

And I would’ve ranted about how the driver was drunk
and I wasn’t even in the road,
and you’d make a joke about how he was aiming for me
to get my number from the insurance company.

And it would make me laugh hard enough
to forget my legs were broken.
If we ever made it to college,
you’d have been my emergency contact.

But 2 years ago,
I got hit by something worse than a car
and you didn’t pick up the phone,
so I had to deal with a broken spirit and no cure.

So, I’m grateful 2 years ago my contact was my mom,
but what do I do now?

Because I’m scared no one will answer my calls,
no matter who I write down.

In 1 week, it will have been 2 years since we fell apart,
and I always hoped I’d have a new contact by now.

And I do,
someone that made me wonder
why I ever wanted to call you in the first place.

Psalm 50:15

How Long Has it Been

I came home from Lowe’s today and told my husband
About the hot guy who tried to pick me up with this line
“We should garden together.”

When we were younger my husband would have demanded a name.
He would have jumped in his car with his six shooters, and hunted this guy down.
He would have ranted and raved himself into a six-year-old-babylike-frenzy.

He said to me “How long has it been since someone tried to pick you up?
“Bet he couldn’t lift you.”
He is now sleeping with one eye open.
This was not the week to tease Caren.

Sad Sack Sammy

The tale of Sad Sack Sammy,
So the story goes.
A walking, talking, whiner,
Suffering his woes.

He never ever smiled,
Had nothing good to say.
He whimpered like a sissy,
All the livelong day.

His mood would always swing,
At home or when at school.
Sometimes melancholy,
Then complaining like a fool.

A lousy, luckless, loner,
Grew up without a friend.
No one could stand his presence,
'Cause he ranted till the end.

His fate would change at Fifty,
This local resident.
He chose a different path,
And ran for President.

Now everyone that knew him,
Was caught up on the blind side.
When all the votes were counted,
He won it by a landslide.

Conspiracy Theory

It’s just a huge conspiracy.
Facebook says it’s so,
And, it’s a well known fact, 
The experts on Facebook know
The City seems so quiet now
Just a littered and dirty street
Now the anti vaxxers have gone,
Their demonstration complete.

Hardly the peaceful promised demo
For they stood, cursed and swore,
Issued threats and insults to folk
About the face coverings they wore.
And, as always, hidden in the centre
The balaclava’d active mob
Stirring up the others with
Their big and  strident gobs.

The scientists from Facebook
Who absolutely know it all,
Those Rent-A-Mob Heroes
Always there on constant call.
If they sadly catch the virus I hope
After all they’ve ranted and raved
They’ll stand by their convictions
And not expect their lives be saved.

After all the law allowed them
To publicly raise their voice
And they were all allowed
To exercise their free choice,
And it is just a conspiracy 
So I’d want to know just why
They don’t stick to their convictions
And quietly just go off and die

Unhinged

A man jumped on the subway tracks, 
Delaying every train.
He paced and shouted; people asked him
What he hoped to gain.

He ranted incoherently
Yet strangers offered aid,
Despite the fact that they’d be late
For plans they might have made.

As minutes passed, nobody
Could convince him he should stop,
But he climbed up at last 
Where he was handcuffed by a cop.

Reporters called the man “unhinged,”
As good a word as any,
For lately, that description
Might apply to far too many.

When Noise Suddenly Kept Quiet

He always kept on talking.
In a loud voice, he let listeners
mark his sword of words. 
With a scream, he painted 
the dream’s delight and colors
in the plateau.
He ranted when the daybreak
gradually dawned.
He gladly viewed in the air 
the energetic flap of nurtured
trust and answer.
Until the strong current pursued
and forcibly silenced him, 
the murmur of waterfall 
and the giant cascade investigated him,
the flying sharp splash shouted at him.
The fierce eyes stopped him, 
the castigating claws and furious fangs 
in the woods rebuked him.
Only then he uttered no sound.
Only then the deafening hush roared 
like a mute thunder.
Serenity with sincerity.
Tranquility with deep 
wisdom and policy.

Emptiness Inside

Standing all alone, we watched
The winner of the gold,*
Who’d skated quite amazingly,
Her elegance extolled.

Her teammates sobbed and ranted
And the cameras caught it all
While the winner clutched a teddy bear
And listened to them bawl.

What should have been her moment
By her teammates was denied
And when asked her feelings, she described
“An emptiness inside.”

Disappointment in athletics
Is quite common to report,
But both doping and sore losing
Cast a shadow on the sport.

*In the women’s Olympic figure skating event

A Perfect Mismatch

He couldn't stand her temper tirades
   She ranted and raved about bills left unpaid

A tragic couple they were, a perfect mismatch ~
   Their marriage contract containing no escape hatch

I Am a Bad Dog Mama Today

Our new dog Buddy chewed one of my favorite sandals in half.
The next week he chewed another favorite sandal in half; not a pair.
I am out of sandals to wear now.
I taped one with electrical tape but it did not last more than six steps.
I thought he had chewed up one of my brand spanking new shoes this morning.
I ranted and raved, screamed and yelled, I was a horrible puppy mama.
I did not hit, because I know what that feels like, but I was a terror.
My husband said he would clear off the top of the refrigerator
So I can start putting my shoes up there.
Handy huh?

The Preacher Said What

What would Jesus say 
to the pastor who ranted,
“NO masks in THIS church”?	

July 28, 2021



MT. JULIET, Tennessee, July 27, 2021  The pastor of a Mt. Juliet church has threatened to kick out members of his congregation if they show up in masks amid a nationwide surge in COVID-19 cases fueled by the delta variant.
During service on Sunday at Global Vision Bible Church, Pastor Greg Locke told the crowd, "Don't believe this delta variant nonsense. Stop it! Stop it!"

Enchanted By a Poltergeist

Suzette never meant to hurt anyone but she does for she is enchanted.
Although young, she was turned into an elder-looking crone by a poltergeist.
Halloween spells have been flung about and she has raved and ranted.
She is as helpless as a polar bear who has been frozen and iced.

What did I do?  She implores her wizened black cats, wanting the truth.
Asking them, there was no repercussion, no strive, no cost. 
The fact is, the poltergeist was jealous because she could say-sooth.
She wandered her days, looking old, feeling confused and lost.

Delicious Pig and Big Dean

There once was a pig named Delicious
She hated washing the stupid dishes
She ranted and raved
Her bro thought her depraved
So he threw her into a pond with the fishes

Delicious was a pig with a temper quite mean
She got out and ranted at her brother big Dean
He was scared to his bones
Ran off with Miss Jones
An old lady whose teeth had turned  ugly green

Ordinary Pleasures Revered For Sure

Aftermath of Covid19 you say?
Beautiful ideas enter our mind
Creativity has found a sweet way
Deliberate hope for all of mankind
Enthusiasm brings muses to play
Foremost forever, this is so cool.
Girls and boys glad to be back in school.
Heartfelt happiness, it’s a brand new day!
Introduction to The Golden Rule.
Joyful as pandemic fades away.
Kids run toward grandma to give her a hug.
Love is no longer taken for granted.
Monstrous dreams slide away in the mud.
Needless diversion no longer ranted.
Ordinary pleasures revered for sure.
Parents are jiggling to a whole new beat.
Queens and Presidents are found not so pure
Respect for teachers will dance in the street.
Stupendous change will be showing us now.
The virus is not our only business.
Understanding and kindness anyhow 
Variety of great ideas will save us
Wonderful calm days will come in a bit.
‘Xcited to be alive in this fuss.
Youthful exuberance – nothing like it.
Zestily protecting our humanness.

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