Poundage Poems


Premium MemberSuch a Surprise

Fat cat was horrified when he stepped on the scale.
He had no idea of his poundage. Such a surprise!
He wondered why it was not mentioned by his girlfriend Gale.
She just looked at him and rolled her amber eyes.
Categories: poundage, cat, food,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberScales To Measure

Scales to Measure

We are not all equal. 
Some can dance on a wire...
above the crowd, 
Some can swim...
all the way to China. 
While others,
make food that feeds...
many every day, 
or take the hearts...
from some, 
to place in others. 

How can we be equal?
There are history buffs, 
and clown puffs. 
There are mistakes, 
and errors, 
and right answers. 

The only truth that is,
without fiction;
God knows all. 
Every name and every face. 
Every one, in every place. 
You can not walk away, 
you can not hide, 
it is just the reality 
and our abundance of pride, 
that keep us guessing, 
at the poundage of
our worth.
Categories: poundage, allah, america, anger, emotions,
Form: Free verse


Fat

Americans are way too fat;
That’s what statistics say,
For 65 percent weigh more
Than what they ought to weigh.

With explanations varied
There is always an excuse
Why, despite a stringent diet,
People’s poundage won’t reduce.

I was once a trifle heavy
And I hated buying clothes;
Every bulge upon my body
Seams and zippers would expose.

Yet I see so many out there
From the plump to the obese
Who, for reasons I can’t fathom,
With their weight have made their peace.

Are they capable of changing?
Though the experts tell us so,
Most will keep on growing bigger;
As to why, we’ll never know.
Categories: poundage, health,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberIf I Were An Elephant

IF I WERE AN ELEPHANT

If my poundage frightens you, then get out of the way!
I will lift you high, with my baton trunk, shimmy you onto my back, as if you
were crowned royalty. I’ll parade you through the jungle. I’ll listen with
an ear or two, they are huge.  I make for good company. Just don’t put this
elephant in a circus or zoo, or this poundage will stampede! 

12/8/2016
Categories: poundage, animal,
Form: Acrostic

Premium MemberBack On Track

Been gaining some pounds since moving here
Getting back on track once more
No more cake with two scoops of ice cream
I'm as dedicated as I was before

Resisting temptation is the name of the game
Will power sure comes into play
Without it you're doomed right from the start
Keep chomping away on fillets

Did it before so failing's not an option
Determined as I was back then
Too much poundage can be a dangerous thing
Going to lose a bunch once again

Do I hear you cheering me on, my friends
Well thank you for your support
I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing
Kinda like a progress report

Trust me I'm as confident as I've ever been
Did it once and will do it again
But if for some reason I don't achieve my goal
Got no one but myself to blame

© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories: poundage, dedication,
Form: Quatrain


Two-Fifty-Four

Two-Fifty-Four
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

I bought a new scale at the Wal-Mart store.
Made it secure and level on the floor.
I took a breath, then stepped on.
The digits I saw made me moan.
Surely, I do not weigh two-fifty-four!

Let’s balance the scale, then I’ll try once more.
Adjusted proper, they’ll give the right score.
This time the scales will behave.
I stepped on, tried to be brave.
But with a grin they said “two-fifty-four”.

I would like to throw these scales out the door.
Wish they were lying, but I can’t ignore. 
I’ve gobbled many things sweet
And chewed on too much red meat.
My expanding poundage is “two-fifty-four”.

My belly is huge, my chin is galore.
Need to lose it, but process is a chore.
Need diet low in fat and starch.
So my stomach will not arch.
Hope to be smaller than “two-fifty-four”.

Would a brisk walk cause my health to restore?
Would losing blubber help me not to snore?
Let’s get started. Soon I say!
Well - after the holiday!
Cause my clothes don’t fit at “two-fifty-four”.
Categories: poundage, food, funny, holiday, home,
Form: Limerick
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