Why do people want to attack
The phenomenon known as the plumbers crack
As they work without a care
It’s just not right that you should stare.
It’s not like they’re working in the nude
So stop being such a bloody prude
It’s quite fair that they should bend
But don’t go looking up an old friend.
Builders bum can make one smile
Some might say it can even beguile
But there’s one thing I cannot back
And that is attacking the plumbers crack.
They make plenty of money, sure enough,
but you sure need them when times get tough -
halfway to the moon with a plumbing problem,
headline news couldn't be more solemn.
So, now whenever I sit on my tooter,
I send a prayer to Roto-Rooter.
I am a plumber,
CDM is my companies name,
The initials belong to my sons,
They may work with me one day.
I had a LARGE WHITE van,
Before Covid made all of the
Prices lower.
Later I tried to get different work, a variety,
But I partnered with a no- good man,
And I lost it all again.
I had insurance so I kept the house, the family home,
I said to the no-good man-
DON’T WORRY ‘BOUT ME!
Like the words in a song,
You just carry on and I’ll get along.
So here I am now,
I’m working again,
I managed to keep my head up,
And to work through the pain!
Sump pump is broken
Constant water run
Plumbers cost money
Homeowner is sad
Waits a bit too long
The basement floods
Ruins couches
Bedding thrown out
Salvage nothing
Expensive
Life lesson
Plumber comes
Nasty
Stump pump
Flood
TOP SECRET according to Trump
Is toilet paper for his rump
It all gets flushed
But now he's rushed
His toilet can't handle the dump
(To Donald, TOP SECRET is when
Stormy Daniels visits again
For no one should know
What time she will blow
For God may declare it a sin!)
Plumbers refuse to make a return visit.
After Medusa washes her hair out well.
Too many eager snake eyes watching them.
Down the drain where monsters dwell.
The plumbers name was stop cock jock
Whose eyes were firmly on the clock
Put his wrench in his belt
What a shock when he knelt
Cos the grippers caught in his ad hoc
With tears flowing like a river
He tried to stand and deliver
His bits changed to blue
Mates said what a to-do
Stop cock jock was all of a quiver
Penned January 3 2019
Oh, how patience and wits are put to test
For "creative" math used to figure the best
Far be it for a newbie to question the stats
But seems the numbers are left to the bats
Some too intent on how the order fidgets
Miss out on the blessing of different digits
For the wins that last, months and years
Are the kind words typed ... by gifted peers.
;-)
PLUMBERS BUMMERS - FIVE FOOTLES
Brain Drain
Dumber
Plumber
--------------------------------
Oshkosh – OH MY GOSH!!
Butt crack
gone slack
----------------------------------
Plumb Sexy
No stench
wrench wench
Contra-Septic
Blue pill
bag fill
Pay Day
No rush
He’s flush
©3/23/2017
submitted to – FABULOUS FUN FOOTLES – Poetry Contest
Without great words of wisdom, a nation will survive.
Without purveyors of idiom, a dynasty will thrive.
But let the sewers overflow when waters run amiss,
And you will find a people on the brink of the abyss.
Kingdoms rise to glory through the works of humble men
Whose masterpiece is laid with pipe, not scratches from a pen.
So if the water from the tap should flow with earthy umber,
Best dry the mess with manuscript and then go call a plumber.
The faucets are dripping
I get so nervous that I can’t stop shaking
It’s like a cold steel dream
I know you can’t stop it
But it’s the mechanical thing
That scares me.
Drip, drip, drip
Is it really that bad
To bring people into my house
I doubt it
But I can’t stand it any longer
Some thick-legged boy will tell me
It was nothing but a pressure valve.
“Really?” I say.
“Ah yea usually takes two days.
By then you got real troubles.”
What kind of troubles is he talking about?
Cancer, the kututra, the heebie-jeebies?
I simply can’t take it.
He slides under the sink
Mumbles something about a saw
And some plumbers tape
Fifteen minutes later I owe him $143.00.
Now that is some kind of tape.
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