Phillies Poems

Remedies

Written By:  D. Collins


When your head is banging like a deep, bass drum.
Mince a garlic clove and butter on a hot dog bun.
Any strain that wants to call itself athlete foot.
Will bow down to the power found in Clorox bleach.


Two aspirin before sleeping after a night on the town.
Guarantees we are peaking when it's time to get down.
That's just the NOLA kind of way of doing things.
Put your talent on display for all the world to see.


I'm not a baseball fan, but I seen what I saw.
Which was the closest thing I've seen to ILL-Na-Na.
Is it possible for the Phillies to lose a game?
And, with NOLA pitching, to that, I will refrain.

The Unassisted Triple Play

In baseball, this is something we rarely see.
An infielder without any help puts out all three.
He catches the line drive, and steps on second base;
then he tags out the runner at first in a chase.
It's happened only fifteen times in major league history.
I saw it occur in a Phillies game in 1990.
The player who did it was named Mickey Morandini.

Big Concrete Ashtray

This was a sports arena once considered better than good.
At least, it was located in a better neighborhood.
It's where the Phillies and Eagles would play.
From 1971 to 2003, the teams would stay.
The place reminded me of a big concrete ashtray.
Times changed for this famed sports venue.
In early 2004, Veterans Stadium had to bid adieu.
The Phillies staged an early Sunday morning event.
Phanatic pushed the plunger, and down the place went.

Jt Will Be Back

To Phillies fans, there is great news as of late.
This season, J. T. Realmuto will be back behind the plate.
Many consider him the best catcher in baseball.
For both hitting and fielding, this man can do it all.
Of course, his new contract called for more money.
You have to pay some more if you want quality.
In professional sports, there is little room for parsimony.

from www.mlb.com/phillies

Blue Hen From Delaware

There was a hen from Delaware
Who purchased blue feathers to wear
She harboured a mania
To see Pennsylvania…
One state to another compare.

She heard there were Phillies at play
And diners where food was buffet
She found no utopia
Fell victim to phobia 
Whenever she drank Chardonnay.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Delaware is nicknamed "Blue Hen State"

Contest: State Limerick 
Sponsor: Kevin Shaw
© 24th July 2019

Scintillating

At times I may come across as a lecherous old man
But trust me, that's a totally false description of who I am
Harmless, gentle and kind
Absolutely loves nice behinds
I mean really, some phillies have scintillating floor plans

Phanatic

I've got to say this from the start
Hate me though, you may!
I'm from Philly, born and raised
To God and sports we pray!

When I was just a little girl
The Phillies beat them all
I wanted to marry Michael Schmidt
Sure we would have a ball!

I worked so very hard at school
To earn a bunch of A's
Because the Philly paper gave
Free tickets out as praise!

And as I grew my team has had
Its share of downs and ups
But win or lose, I like tight pants
And cold beer in my cups!

My mother was a Phillies fan
And I find it oh so fitting
That the last time they were World Champs
We at her wake were sitting.

Iron Pigs

Phillies Triple-A
Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs
almost Major League

The Bull

Remember the Bull
Greg Luzinski left fielder
pride of the Phillies

A Message From Emilly

A message from Emilly
By Angelo Casiano


A message from above to those of you I love.
I love you more than you’ll ever know,
Even more now that I’m gone.
And my love for you will grow and grow,
Like the chorus to a song.
I had to leave much sooner than
 I thought, I must admit.
But you know mom, until I’m done,
 I’m never gonna quit. 
I left behind some parts of me,
 I have so much to give.
Because of you I’m strong enough,
 to help some others live.
So Daddy when you think of me,
While you watch the Phillies play. 
I’ll be sitting next to you. I’ll be with you every day.
 You’ve given me the best of you.
And now I’m giving back.
I will love you for eternity. No matter were I’m at.

It's Rarely Sunny In Philadelphia Part 2

They tied that losing record and then went out and won, in a blowout 
Can you believe it, they can't even get a record for losing
And then they go on and now have lost three in a row, go figure.
I did take the next day off from work and went downtown though

It wasn't raining, but it certainly wasn't sunny
I tried to eat my lunch at the Rocky statue
But people kept taking my picture every time I tried to take a bit of my sandwich
Then one guy said, "Hey!, move it!

I looked up at the Rock, a pigeon looking back down from atop his head
Gathering my lunch and picking up my umbrella 
I reached up and patted Rocky on the knee 
Saying, Hey Rock, do you think you can come back for one more fight, just one more

In hearing the tourist saying to his wife, 
"maybe he's a crazy homeless man"
I simply looked at him, tipped my Phillies cap and walked away
And as I did this I heard that man say, "ah, the Phillies stink!"

It's Rarely Sunny In Philadelphia

Being a Philadelphia sports fan 
 is like being a Hawaiian who likes icicles... what's the point

I barely remember the two years the Flyers won in the seventies
Now the Sixers in 83 that was amazing, but since then...nothing
When I was fifteen I seen the Phillies win it all back in 1980
The next time they won it all I had a son who was fifteen, 28 long years
Oh, and the Eagles, they never won at all, but they're the "gold standard of the league"

In desperation I once rooted for a horse named Smarty Jones to win the Triple Crown
He was from Philly 
You guessed it, He lost at the wire as my son and I watched in the rain 
 on the Parkway right near the Rocky statue
In fact, Rocky is this towns biggest sports hero, shame he's imaginary. 

But as of late I have been cheering my mighty Sixer's 
Just honoring the guy who made famous the 'who needs practice' quote
They have now lost 21 in a row, a team record
Now our sights are set on the league record at 26 loses in a row
I may take off from work that day
Maybe take a lunch and go downtown and eat with Rocky
Hopefully it isn't raining

Tug Mcgraw

Frank Edwin was his real name.
This southpaw went on to garner fame.
With great accomplishments and few regrets,
he became the closer for the New York Mets.
This native of Martinez, California
finished his baseball playing career in Philadelphia.
He is indelibly etched in Phillies fans’ memories
when he struck out Willie Wilson in the World Series.
That was in the magical season of 1980.
What a colorful act on the mound he was to see.
Unfortunately, Tug is not around anymore.
He sadly passed away back in 2004.

I thank wikipedia.org online encyclopedia for information I obtained to write this poem.

On the Way To a Doubleheader In 1964

Turn that radio off.  I don’t want to hear anymore.
All they play is music from that Liverpool Fab Four.
Those four English guys are polluting the airwaves.
Somehow, their music is what my girlfriend craves.
These bums look strange with that disgusting long hair.
They drive the girls batty, but I don’t seem to care.
Anyway, let’s get going.  It’s starting to get late.
If the Phillies win both games today, won't that be great?

Phillies 2013

The Phillies are not scoring many runs.
They’re leaving runners on base.
Zeros are on the board.

Get it together.
Bad hitting and bad pitching
does not win you games.
Not many victories come
when you score three or less runs.

No postseason play
if you lose too many games.
Play like a winner.

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