Funny Personification Poems

Where I come from
It’s dark and quiet
Eleven months of the year
Then one fine day
Everything changes
All of a sudden
It’s bright and snowing
And I come to life
After...

Read More

What's a necktie 
dangling for?

     Too stiff, too thin 
     to be scarf, a bib 
 ...

Read More

A MYNAH BIRD CONFESSES

“Bonjour”
  “Hello”
      “Aloha”
I speak in many tongues,
this intelligent passerine.

“Shh, don’t let on
    but...

Read More

C’mon ladies,
it is me you love and you know it,
from the bottom of your golden feathers;
Now, now, cut the chitchat.

I am not rat,
I am a...

Read More

Geez, that’s not fair!  
Stop growling so viciously you monster; whoa! 
I’ve got to get out of here…it’s got Mom’s arm!  
I jump...

Read More

I am puffed up. I am proud. My nose is cold.
Maybe the coldest in the competition.
I am healthy, and I am ready. Put me in...

Read More

The barnyard was a twitter.
“She is walking pigeon-toed!”
“You should see it.”
“She thinks she is all that!”

I am dragged out to see.
After listening to them cackle...

Read More

No other cats are blue.
Why me?
She is a weirdy-cat herself, this artist woman.
Her cartoon witches are laughable, and I am blue?
Uh-oh. Here she comes again.
Yesterday...

Read More

I held this thing together,
I stayed strong around your airiness,
How wrong is it to be the one
that keeps us from precarious
collapse? “You are my rock!”,...

Read More

Here she comes again,
That clip-happy, snippy crone who fancies herself a gardener.
What?
She is doing such a horrible job of it.
She clipped two of us unmercifully...

Read More

Noisy River Bank
Sitting on a river bank, tryin to catch a catfish
Lookin up at the stars, I began to make a wish.
Well, my worms are...

Read More

Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said, 
What was it you had to say?
Instead of hearing a rainbow of thoughts, 
I heard a...

Read More

If I am to be a tool, please let me be a goffhammer.
Let me forge and cast, and let my knives be envied.

If I am...

Read More

My best feature by far, my bright azure feet.
A mating dance star, prowess cannot be beat.
South American bird, wing span of five feet.
My diving is...

Read More

My mouth went running off today, I watched her sprint through the
Yard, scaring a butterfly.
There was a bunny, who did not notice.
She summersalted six or...

Read More

Dear Santa Claws, for Christmas I’d like a new chew bone; I’ve been a real good dog this year; I don’t even bite the cat,...

Read More

Dear Santa Claws, please bring me a new catnip mousey; my old one has so many holes that the nip won’t stay in and I...

Read More

I type hard, I type fast, I type dirty, because my owner does not care.
There are papers over and under my keyboard. 
We are a...

Read More

I was dancing and prancing 
And singing whooped Dee Dee
Not realizing I was not alone
Until he opened his shirt to me

He threw out the mayo,...

Read More

Me and my mate we talk all the time, 
We talk when I get out of bed,
He’s the one that I see first thing in...

Read More