Official Poems | Examples

The House Cat's Official Greeting to Visitors

Seeing as I live here 
(I say this not in jest),
remember this is my domain, 
and you are just a guest.

There is a possibility 
that's fairly safe to predict:
you will definitely be sniffed
and probably be licked.
(Deal with it.)

It is not my problem 
if you're a crusty grouch;
if you don't like cat hairs, 
stay off the gosh darn couch!

To you I am the cat, 
but here I am the baby.
If I'm in a pleasant mood, 
I'll let you pet me. Maybe.

Here they like me more 
than they like most people;
this, of course, makes perfect sense: 
I am the queen - so regal.

They really, really love me; 
they're only friends with you.
And now if you'll excuse me, 
I have a toy mouse to chew.

The Official Comedy

Maybe I walk in your shoes,
Perhaps you sleep like my loops,
Probably, this is an unimaginable satire,
Inside your head, I can never born again and be a disaster.

Perhaps I am only your necessity,
Probably, I walk on springs,
Maybe you don't possess earthly possessions,
In your hands, my name is nothing but an arcade.

Maybe you know I am your closest friend,
Perhaps I am not a suitable companion,
Probably, your thoughts about me are just a cliche,
In your mind, I am nothing but a sense of consciousness. 

I know you will not follow my path,
I understand you value yourself more than my prestigious circles,
You belong to the official comedy,
I beg you to sacrifice your passion for one last time.

I cannot be your passion,
Perhaps I am more than that,
Maybe you've got none,
But you will get a better one!

Official of Officialness

Im officially the official of officialness in the matter of all matter that matters to anyone who is anyone who belongs to someone who is officially known as to be something of a descendant of man or men but probably preferably man not apes or monkeys but humanoids of this tiny tiny blue marble of a planet. 

So cheers! 

So since I'm officially the official of officialness you all can go about your official business.

And if you ever need any official advice or guidance or assistance or support or help or direction or instruction or supervision or regulation or authorization or approval or endorsement or confirmation or verification or validation or certification or accreditation or recognition or acknowledgment or appreciation or praise or commendation or compliment or admiration or respect or esteem or honor or tribute or homage or salute or toast or cheers, you know where to find me. 

I’m always here for you, my fellow officials. ??

My Life It's Official

I'm not bent, I'm broken...

Not another word spoken...

No giving... No take...

Just one big ing mistake...

No forgive... No forget...

No time left to regret...

No future... No past...

Everything is far from my blast...

How will I ever understand my past...

No holding on... No letting go...

How will I ever know...

My life is a joke... 

Without the coke...

People just love to poke... 

No egg to my yoke...

No destiny... No fate...

But differently hell's gate...

My soul is in disrepair that's how I know...

I'm standing right there...

People determined to do me wrong & still expect me to remain strong....

No heaven... No earth...

Maybe one day I will make a choice that works for me...

Instead of sitting on my **** with a cold cup of tea...

Feeling sorry for poor little old me...

Sad **** choices are my only mistake...

My life is a mess, not just from heartache...

Going around in circles seems to be my thing...

Little hope... Little dope...

I wish I could fake it, but nope...

My life & me are the funniest thing you'll ever see...

This Is My Life Unfortunately...

Official Hacker 2222

Agency could trace user activity because browser serve as a link between the bottom and surface web.When we download something we download it from web or when we use VPN we use internet and when
we use internet we are connected with local service provider and in this way we are trackable so the whole Game is being played by intelligence agency and official hacker.Keep in mind there are five ways to track our activity and Location..
1.Internet Service Provider..
2.Mobile Number..
3.Device Number..
4.Cellular signal location..
5.Network Monitoring Cell..

The Official Jar Opener

I was the official jar opener in our house
Until this jar of Bick's Pickled Beets
Knocked me off my perch
Mr. He-Man here is now fighting off severe depression
It's a conspiracy, cause I was acting too much like a smart ass
That lid tightening machine heard about me
And is purposely making the seal tighter
So no actual human can open it without farting
And then it's still basicly impossible
I think the government should pass a law
That prohibits this kind of practice
To prevent us from ending up crying like a baby
And sucking our thumb all cuddled up in the corner
My dear wife decided to give it a shot
And apparently with no struggle at all
She managed to open the damn stupid thing
As I always say, “I loosened it for you!”
You can visit me in an old folks home
3:00 to 4:00 every weekday afternoon
And between 1:00 and 6:00 on weekends

Todays News Tomorrows Blues

Today’s News Tomorrows Blues
David J Walker

Off white
Black typed
Picket fence newspapers
Stacked in racks unread 

Everything said 
	Yesterday
Made news today 
Everyone who bled 
Or bruised made news

In the official records where
Only the dead are
Laid to rest in the haze of the
Obituaries details 

Scattered like ashes among 
The ads of mortuaries 

On the next page the movies
Remind us of the lives we will
Never know

But let’s go to the show
And forget about life
Until tomorrow’s  edition
Is put to bed

Official Disclaimer

BADSEEDPRESS is a fabricated enterprise. 
Zoltan Goliath and Otis Trench are invented characters, 
as are all the other players identified herein as having 
had a role in the sweet soul seduction of this sad luck, 
rum-soaked dame of a book. 
The entire contents of this volume is the product 
of the imagination of M. Kalavik. It was all his idea. 
BADSEEDPRESS accepts no responsibility 
for anything other than words on a page, 
but we would like to thank the many sponsors 
whose advertisements have acted as fertilizer 
spread among the lyrical furrows of this fictional funny farm. 
Without their support, this project might not have been thought possible. 
We’re all just in it for the money.     

Brent Scorn
Non-attorney Spokesperson
BADSEEDPRESS

Elected Officials

People whom your votes produce
And four or five succeeding years reduce:
Not like wage earners their bosses might sack;
Their tenures run out and they show us their back…
At the outset, magical initiatives that wouldn’t confuse,
At the finale a barrel-large hopeless excuse!
Like potent drugs, movers of a system forward,
Like expired ones, makers of things more awkward…;
You indicate them as your choices,
You simply hearken to their voices.
A leadership style can your last dime grab;
We have the economically brave but logistically drab:
A whole purse flatly draining
And you can just see that it’s badly raining.
No dirty files of theirs that you can’t pick,
Because all dirty files would at some point leak…
Election periods remain a time to think,
As some of these aspiring bundles stink.

I'M a Gas - It's Official -

An ultrasound scan of my tum
Showed lots of foul gas soon will come
I try to hold it in
But much to my chagrin
Foul farts are shooting from my bum

I could give up on veggies and sprouts
Lush fried onions in large amounts
I do farts loud and quiet
But I won’t alter my diet
My doctor says good fibre counts

Some veggies don’t agree with me
They make me fart so frequently
My hubby doesn’t mind
Thank goodness he’s kind
I have got a big problem you see

You could call me a flatulent lass
Foul wind’s shooting out of my ass
I admit I’ve been windy
Can’t blame our dog Mindy
My doctor says Jan it will pass

A somewhat tongue in cheek poem... but I had an ultrasound last week to check for ovarian cancer as my stomach had been bloated for several weeks... the result of the scan is a cyst on my kidney and ‘lots of gas’ in my stomach which i do not expel in public lol. My doctor is happy I follow a high fibre diet and I think things will get better once I stop eating sprouts lol

* we don't have a dog!

12/09/20

Dutiful Official

D-edication
I-n
O-ccasion
S-imply
D-elights
A-nother
D-utiful
O-fficial

A-s
S-cribe
U-ses
N-atal
C-onnotation
I-n
O-ne
N-ame

Topic: Birthday of Councilor
Diosdado E. Asuncion, Jr (November 16) 
Form: Vertical Monocrostic

Retired Official

R-etired
O-fficial
L-ives
A-nother
N-ew
D-egree
O-f

D-uty
E-njoying
L-ife
O-f
S-piritual

S-implicity
A-nd
N-ice
T-ime
O-f
S-erenity

Form: Vertical Monocrostic

The Chinese Official

I awoke to the pungent smell of perfumed wisterias;
Bursting from twisting bines hang masses of purple blooms.
   In far away Wuyuan I know Springtime sits upon many
      Crowded terraces;
 Again I long for you...our cozy little rooms.

Late Born

This morning of the winter season
The snow ball falling like the rain thorn
I'm ready to bathe
Hot water comes late
Office boss greets me telling 'late born'


-January 02,2020 CTG, BD

In Their Official Roles

T-rusted
R-eceivers
E-mploy
A-lert
S-ystem
U-nder
R-estricted
E-xecution
R-ightfully

&

A-pplying
U-ntold
D-edication
I-n
T-heir
O-fficial
R-oles

Form: Vertical Monocrostic

• Short Official Poems
• Famous Official Poems
• Best Official Poems
• Read Official Poems
• Long Official Poems
• Official Quotes