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I'M a Gas - It's Official -

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An ultrasound scan of my tum Showed lots of foul gas soon will come I try to hold it in But much to my chagrin Foul farts are shooting from my bum I could give up on veggies and sprouts Lush fried onions in large amounts I do farts loud and quiet But I won’t alter my diet My doctor says good fibre counts Some veggies don’t agree with me They make me fart so frequently My hubby doesn’t mind Thank goodness he’s kind I have got a big problem you see You could call me a flatulent lass Foul wind’s shooting out of my ass I admit I’ve been windy Can’t blame our dog Mindy My doctor says Jan it will pass A somewhat tongue in cheek poem... but I had an ultrasound last week to check for ovarian cancer as my stomach had been bloated for several weeks... the result of the scan is a cyst on my kidney and ‘lots of gas’ in my stomach which i do not expel in public lol. My doctor is happy I follow a high fibre diet and I think things will get better once I stop eating sprouts lol * we don't have a dog! 12/09/20

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 12/15/2020 8:03:00 AM
I do love your poo humor! Funny stuff Jan!!
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Date: 12/14/2020 8:11:00 PM
You do fart and poop poems better than anyone, Jan!
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Date: 12/13/2020 4:49:00 PM
It's Mindy! It is ALWAYS Mindy! Look at how guilty she looks! Funny Jan.
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Date: 12/11/2020 5:19:00 PM
If you have gas it's got to pass!
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Date: 12/10/2020 12:51:00 PM
ROFL, thanks for all the chuckles here - so glad all was well, my friend x
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Date: 12/10/2020 11:27:00 AM
Well I'm glad it's not cancer! You are a nut Jan! Lolol
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Date: 12/10/2020 4:52:00 AM
This is so adorable !!! You are such a hoot. God bless you always
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Date: 12/10/2020 2:35:00 AM
A round of applause for showing us how to tackle a serious topic with wit and humour, Jan. This is very entertaining, even though you turned the sound off :) :) Hugs // paul
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Date: 12/9/2020 9:09:00 PM
G’day Jan … did you have to ride in a crowded elevator? If you did, I’ll bet you couldn’t wipe the smile off you face - still grinning Jan - Lindsay
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Date: 12/9/2020 2:49:00 PM
hahaha that last phrase was priceless. You made great humor out of your "condition" I sometimes do little toots jumping on my trampoline. Never happened when I was young!! I must eat right because rarely they smell. haha.
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Date: 12/9/2020 2:23:00 PM
Hahaha I am so pleased there is nothing too serious Jan ~ great news, shame you can't blame the dog... Keep well my friend with love and hugs Ann xx
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Date: 12/9/2020 2:18:00 PM
this is hilarious, jan! glad to hear that your problem isn't serious. isn't it great to have a husband who is so supportive?
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Date: 12/9/2020 12:13:00 PM
Lol! Jan, I'm happy it's nothing serious! You would find humor out of the whole ordeal. I need to be more like you. These Limericks are funny by the way. Enjoy the rest of your day:-) Alexis
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Date: 12/9/2020 12:08:00 PM
I've heard the IOM can be quite windy at times, now I know why. Lol Your secrets safe Jan. Tom
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Date: 12/9/2020 11:11:00 AM
Leave it to you to make us laugh about your "medical problem." :) I should have seen this one coming! Hilarious, Hon. Sometimes I think people purposely try to mislead us by blaming their dogs. Veggies can do this! I have a problem with broccoli, especially when it's not cooked. Great work! Hugs, Carolyn
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Date: 12/9/2020 11:03:00 AM
Gaaaarhh.... stop eating sprouts?!!! It’s Christmas... how you gonna do that?! Good laugh Jan. Terry
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Date: 12/9/2020 10:42:00 AM
One of the things you should have noticed on your walks is that herbivores fart, and excel at very stinky ones! So lose the veggies and eat meat as that will make your husband VERY happy! Aloha! Rico
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