my nurse practitioner gives me a stern “mom” look.
When was the last time you had a mammogram?
I think I had one last week, I say breezily.
Really? She looks surprised.
What kind of a doctor is she?
She can’t tell that I am kidding?
I
Graters are for preparing meals
Not for hearts
Diaries, memoir notes are private
Not for phoney pastors
Sometimes a grated heart tells horrors endured because of pastors
II
Lines between advice & control, love & hate
As lines between light, twilight, night are
Very thin
How does an innocent churchgoer learn
Demands from church to lie, hide, break up
Are lines crossing from Teaching to Orders
Disguised as from The Holy Spirit?
III
From behind the lines, I see
While carrying my shredded heart
Looking for bandaids, some nurse
Doctors don't come to our homes
What with power cuts, water disruptions
There will be no healing. Or slow healing.
We hope to find a nurse practitioner
Who also knows we need her prayers
I have reluctantly come to a doctor’s office.
It is 11:00. I have been here for twenty minutes.
Have seen no one. Even the receptionist left.
Did they go to lunch and forget to tell us?
Maybe this is why no one is here.
Except Charlie and I.
I know his name because he avidly uses his cell phone.
He can only make an appointment on Wednesday or Friday.
He is reluctant to see a nurse practitioner.
He wants to see a real doctor.
He gives all of his ailments, and my skin crawls.
I paid a seventy dollar co-pay to listen to Charlie's phone calls?
I turn and point to the sign with a cell phone and an X through it.
Where is the receptionist?
She comes back and I point to him.
She says nothing.
Good thing they called me to a room before I strangled them both.
Almighty Eternal God
I’m sorry that I have to give back to You
The baby You entrusted to our care through abortion
I wasn’t ready to have another child
I thank You that I get to fix my life
Thank You for giving me two other children
A stable family life
Able to get back to school to get my BS in nursing
For being a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner
The curly Blond baby angel said “Tell the priest that the babies are safe in heaven
God wants to give us women a chance [on the left ear]
Choice [on the right ear]
To save ourselves
Please shower me courage
That although it’s the rarest quality of humans
I want to do the impossible
Because I believe in You
Wisdom to have a deep understanding of the unimaginable
Perseverance to keep on doing well
In Father Christ name
Thank You for forgiving me
Amen
06122020
The doctor was away so the nurse practitioner called
To see how I was doing after my stint in the hospital.
I was in big pain and cried during the entire phone call.
She said I should probably go back to the E.R.
I asked "Which E.R.?" I have been to two.
She said she did not think they could help me but maybe an E.R. could.
She ended with "Have a nice day."
HEH?
(See title if you do not know this acronym I made up to honour her).