Humorous Number Poems

I turn 60! Oh My! 
Keep between you and I.

I know you wish me well, 
No good reason to tell.

To your face, plump and round,...

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the next lottery number is 788231
Please do not ask me how I know.
Just cash in all of your investments 
And head toward the convenience store

Because...

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I have researched the issue extensively
  and concluded most indubitably
The #1 problem we must confront immediately
  is that the NBA is Tibetan-Nepalese free...

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Coffee you are number one
You comfort me in my morning mug
Again at midday by the computer screen
And then at dinner if I feel the need...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

(Nsync with variations on a theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades)
mostly I did merrily wet
whet madness aye ever did...

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cuz poisonous toxins sting like scorpions
severely crimping ability to sit down absorption
radiating throughout every
cell guaranteeing abstention
against hidebound contract, no

ifs, ands, nor but tucks
whereby mood linkedin
to...

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Thought it would be fun to write a cute little Smarty Pants poem.
I was crazy with excitement about it, laughing with happiness gore.
I was so...

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POEM BASED ON AN OLD JOKE 


A village copper was on his beat
When he saw a parked car rocking
The rate that it was moving
It really...

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.   This is PERIOD
             i   This is a DOT
...

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I think it’s funny when in the thrift store I see
An Alcoholics Anonymous handbook donated to charity
With the former owner’s full name on the front,...

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Impressive
Vice presidential

Walking on lily pads
Sinking within illusions

Snow drops bloom
Wisdom is waking

Darkness fades
Light pervades

We all seek to be one
Destiny sometimes makes us number two

Quite the topic...

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So I go to the license bureau
to get my plates renewed
(I wish I’d swallowed cyanide instead!)

The man says ‘take a number’
I get ONE NINETY TWO
though...

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Horn Kitty Limerick Number Four

Kitty never did fret or fume
Liked going from room to room
While all of us trying to find
And who he had left...

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(All in fun, my friends!!!)


In spite of my charm and amazing good looks
There are things I want you to know
I don't wear undies on weekdays...

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