My lame-ass lips can't even draw
McDonalds milkshake through a straw:
and if I must
run for the bus,
I take an oxygen inhaler.
You like your house? I rent a trailer.
But yell it through the loudest-hailer:
I kissed Leila!
Some lucky guy looks like George Clooney,
while I resemble Mickey Rooney.
I'm such a shmuck,
if vampires suck,
then call me Vlad the (Bad) Impaler!
I guard my dough? Like a drunken sailor.
But study this at Yale, or Baylor:
I kissed Leila!
I'll never win that Golden Globe
for lounging in a silken robe
like Errol Flynn,
appearing in
a bedroom scene with young Liz Taylor:
my books won't sell like Norman Mailer:
my jokes are rustier and staler
than ol' Jed Clampett's cotton baler:
I'm a no-mark, lamester, loser, failer.
But shout it from the Torre Vela:
I kissed Leila!
Miss Elizabeth Taylor
married everyone she met but Norman Mailer
Received many valentines day boxes
for she was sly as reddish foxes.
Princess Di met one nice guy
Having no idea he loved one who was married.
She is now an angel in the sky,
And he is with his soulmate, who looks quite harried.
Liz Taylor
never married
a sailor, retailer
or a wholesaler
or divorced a bailor
or buried a tailor
or used an inhaler
or lived in a trailer
or dated Norman Mailer
or kissed a whale or
even was jailed her
whole life as a derailer
(The Torre Vela is a prominent castle tower
at the "prow" of the Alhambra Palace, and
dominates the Spanish city of Granada.)
My lame-ass lips can't even draw
McDonalds milkshake through a straw:
and if I must
run for the bus,
I take an oxygen inhaler.
You like your house? I rent a trailer.
But yell it through the loudest-hailer:
I kissed Leila!
Some lucky guy looks like George Clooney,
while I resemble Mickey Rooney.
I'm such a shmuck,
if vampires suck,
then call me Vlad the (Bad) Impaler!
I guard my dough? Like a drunken sailor.
But study this at Yale, or Baylor:
I kissed Leila!
I'll never win that Golden Globe
for lounging in a silken robe
like Errol Flynn,
appearing in
a bedroom scene with young Liz Taylor:
my books won't sell like Norman Mailer:
my jokes are rustier and staler
than ol' Jed Clampett's cotton baler:
I'm a no-mark, lamester, loser, failer.
But shout it from the Torre Vela:
I kissed Leila!
(Torre Vela = prominent tower, part of
the Alhambra palace, Granada, Spain)
My lame-ass lips can't even draw
McDonalds milkshake through a straw:
and if I must
run for the bus,
I take an oxygen inhaler.
You like your house? I rent a trailer.
But yell it through the loudest-hailer:
I kissed Leila!
Some lucky guy looks like George Clooney,
while I resemble Mickey Rooney.
I'm such a shmuck,
if vampires suck,
then call me Vlad the (Bad) Impaler!
I guard my dough? Like a drunken sailor.
But study this at Yale, or Baylor:
I kissed Leila!
I'll never win that Golden Globe
for lounging in a silken robe
like Errol Flynn,
appearing in
a bedroom scene with young Liz Taylor:
my books won't sell like Norman Mailer:
my jokes are rustier and staler
than ol' Jed Clampett's cotton baler:
I'm a no-mark, lamester, loser, failer.
But shout it from the Torre Vela:
I kissed Leila!
The Dodgers are in LA.
How are you boys doing today?
The Giants moved to Frisco.
Is that something you did not know?
There is many a familiar face.
I have spent six years in this place.
Where do the police use mace?
Did we beat the Russians in the space race?
Yes, this is a filibuster.
Have you heard of George Armstrong Custer?
He and his men we must mourn.
They met their demise at the Little Big Horn.
Who is married to Elizabeth Taylor?
Where can I find a Vicks Inhaler?
You have heard of Norman Mailer.
He wrote the book “The Naked and the Dead”
With wine, do you prefer white or red?
How about a bottle of rose instead?
Which goes well with pizza and pepperoni?
What kind of sauce is good with macaroni?
I think you know where to find Macchu Picchu.
Those are excavated ruins in Peru.
The Incas lived in South America.
No longer do they rule in that area.
Well, I believe that is enough for your ear.
Do not worry if what I said was not clear.
As lawmakers, we must persevere.
Let us discuss serious business here.
This is how most of our elected officials spend their time in Congress
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.