Michael Coy Poet Rhyme

I Kissed Leila

My lame-ass lips can't even draw 
McDonalds milkshake through a straw: 
and if I must 
run for the bus, 
I take an oxygen inhaler. 
You like your house? I rent a trailer. 
But yell it through the loudest-hailer: 
I kissed Leila! 

Some lucky guy looks like George Clooney, 
while I resemble Mickey Rooney. 
I'm such a shmuck, 
if vampires suck, 
then call me Vlad the (Bad) Impaler! 
I guard my dough? Like a drunken sailor. 
But study this at Yale, or Baylor: 
I kissed Leila! 

I'll never win that Golden Globe 
for lounging in a silken robe 
like Errol Flynn, 
appearing in 
a bedroom scene with young Liz Taylor: 
my books won't sell like Norman Mailer: 
my jokes are rustier and staler 
than ol' Jed Clampett's cotton baler: 
I'm a no-mark, lamester, loser, failer. 
But shout it from the Torre Vela: 
I kissed Leila!

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