Motorist Poems

Traffic

We drive on the left
park in the driveway
and walk on the pavement
over here in the good old U.K.
They drive on the right
and on the parkway
also the pavement
over there in the U.S. of A.
It could be confusing to motorist
and pedestrian alike,
so where should we go
when riding a bike?

My Seventh Decade

As if startled awake
from fitfull sleep

Of dreams both cartoonish
Yet with meaning deep

My life having passed
as this very repose

A young woman
Now grand dame all as I dozed

For I must have been asleep
At the wheel

Alternately engaging
 disengaging at will

One eightying along I sped through my life  seventh decade now coming to pass

How will I cram in
All this life left to live before I run out of gas

Hey you young motorist
Yes I'm talking to you

I once thought of myself
As Immortal too

One day you'll arrive here as 
Sure as night follows day

So listen to the words
I am moved to say

Make it count slay regret at its birth
Live fully and thoughtfully for all that your worth

To arrive at destination (well done)

Straight Ahead

The new year found me alone at a deserted roadside,
not knowing where to go but thumbing for a ride.
The signposts displayed 2023 South and 2024 North.
Motorists, speeding along in both directions,
saw my two thumbs up pointing in both directions.
They all stared, as if to say, "Make up your mind".
It did not matter to me where it took me, my mind
was set to board any ride that bothered to stop.
Whether we care or dare to go here or there, thumbing
and bombing without care can take us just about anywhere.
As it happened, a Southbound motorist picked me up, and
before I knew it, I was seeing places I had already been.
I felt like a kid on a merry-go-round, except that I felt no fun.
The driver then said to me that some of us might feel like going
backward or staying put for fear of where the Northbound lanes would
lead. And then he said, "The only eyes we have are in front of our heads". 

010824PS

Snow Happenings

This year first snowfall of the season starts to cover the ground
Gently being released from the sky above barely making a sound
The morning commute sure to be a motorist plight
Having to dodge vehicles spinning out of control is not a pretty sight
Arriving at work stepping into the frigid morning air
Greeted with a barrage of snowballs coming from everywhere
Trying to fight back I lose my footing and go flying to the ground
The only thing that would make this day better would be to be homeward-bound
As I open the office door a shovel awaits, apparently I draw the short straw
Even a flock of crows swoop down towards me and start to caw
Finally, this day has come and it's time to leave without delay
After what seemed to be an eternity I finally arrived home met by my kids who now wanted me to go out and play

De-Puzzlers

If lawyers get de-barred and clergymen de-frocked
Does it naturally follow and make sense
That electricians are de-lighted and cowboys de-ranged?
Need some answers, no sitting on the fence!

Can a motorist be de-fined, or a balloon be de-flated
This silliness surely must stop
Do dead mailmen de-liver, are old ships de-ported
Better stop before I call a burly cop

Do musicians get de-noted, dry cleaners de-pressed?
Now hold on, I'm getting quite upset
Can models be de-posed, do tree surgeons de-bark?
Haven't heard any answers as yet

Do skirts get de-pleted, has your hair been de-parted?
This must be some kind of a plot
Artists quit by de-sign, symphonies de-compose?
I think about de-strings a lot!

Newspeak

I'm sick of this twisted English
Never meaning what it says
No medals for plain speaking
Ever awarded these days.
Free Cash the machine said
But it turned out to be a skank
Later on that week the B's
Took it back from my bank.

Diverted traffic this sign said
So I followed the direction around
Just a queue of angry motorist
And of diversions not a sound
This door is alarmed it says
For god's sake give it a pill
Who wants to always walk
Through doors depressed and ill

An automatic washing machine
So the price goes up a quarter
But it ain't automatic because you
Add powder, power and water
They must think we are idiots
The language tricks they try
But I suspect we are the idiots
'cos we still go out and buy.

A Waste of Color

The darkness shatters with an array of color.  Brilliant
reds, oranges and yellows reaching out of the torches to
lick the blackness off the trees.  Animals running to 
escape searing messages from people who have since
hidden away.  Another few thousand acres destroyed
because the dried Autumn leaves were used as an
ashtray for a passing motorist.

Dressed To a Kill

the rain spilled its barrels on my way to work
hit a pot hole and the tire split
the spare like a donut was cream filled
a passing motorist splashed me with a puddle
my nice matching suit was not drip dry
could not go to the office looking like this
stopped at the cleaners for a dry clean
told them to hurry so I wouldn’t be late
the suit came rolling out on the circling rack
missing some buttons and cuffs turned up
I gave them the bird and dashed out in my skivvies
was picked up for indecent exposure
taken to court which the judge then laughed
“didn’t your mama tell you they’d be days like this?
 I replied didn’t your mama  tell you to only wear fruit of the loom?

Zen Dog Day

ZEN DOG DAY

DOG:
A’m jest trucking on down the road
Hangin loose got no heavy load

[Stops in middle of road and proceeds to scratch every part known to man or dog]
Motorist behind blows horn]

DOG:
Now I hear a horn playin Hey! Hey!
Well Zippety doo dah dey!
I can feel some cool music hatchin
Just as soon as I finish my  scratchin

MOTORIST:
That was my motor horn you heard play
To ask you just get out of the way
I’ve an important meeting with top brass
So kindly move your canine ass

DOG:
Well I got some important itchin
That can’t wait for my position switching
My doggy ass is in its proper station
For sedation of my irritation

MOTORIST:
Now listen you son of a *****
My meetings more important than your itch

DOG:
Wow! Now don’t you talk about my old lady. 
[After final scratch]
You can pass now, so go in peace baby

MOTORIST:
If you’d moved sooner I’d have saved time - near ten minute

DOG:
And with that time, what would you then have done with it?
[Aside]
That’s my philosophy for today just to start out
Jean Paul Sartre you can eat your heart out

Limerick Crochetes: Once Cheerful Alzheimer Motorist

Limerick crochetés: Once cheerful Alzheimer motorist

Once cheerful Alzheimer motorist 
Drove stolen car on a real tight fist
Drank oil at petrol pump
Bought used golf balls from Trump
Got called to White House as Chief Theorist

First advice he forgot to give Chief
“Show House anagram on handkerchief!”
Got kicked upstairs to roof
To count suns water-proof
Saw shooting stars making much mischief

Forgot to keep his mouth right tight shut
Five gallons of oil came rushing out
All West Wing caught fire
Also Code Nuclear
Kim Jong Un lit cigars in a fit !

(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 2017

The Last Word

Texting whilst driving
Should not be a crime
I've got me a truck
That stops on a dime
I steer with my knees
Now isn't that cool?
Good God Almighty
Just look at that fool
Driving straight at me
And  texting away
We're going to crash
And ruin my day
Hold on a second
Life just isn't fair!
I'm ending this text
On a wing and a prayer . . . .

Robbing Peters Should Not Be the Case

In life,

Avarice,

In the rise,

Even for a plate of rice!

A poor to rich,

A rich to more rich,

To enrich,

A walker to cyclist,

A cyclist to motorist,

To enlist,

Avarice,

In the rise,

Taking the Sky up wise,

In a home of some souls,

One to hold all,

In a soil of whole,

One to hold all,

Avarice in the rise like the night mice,

Over the trees where crows portion their,their piece,

Robbing Peters should not be the case!

Beauty Within - Kintsukuroi Contest

She had the face of an angel
Till that dreadful day
When a drunken motorist
Nearly took her life away

Her face was mangled
By the tyres and the stone
Nothing like the beauty
That she had once become

The plastic surgeon
Had magic in his soul
Just like a jigsaw
Put together to make whole

All healed up now
Face is looking fine
Battling with her nightmares
Visual scars are a thin line

Now a better person
Understanding others plights
People see her from the inside
Not a beauty without sight

Kintsukuroi is a word for her
Face enhanced not with gold
But through a clever surgeon
She has found humility untold.

Penned 4 January 2014

The Automobile Mechanic

The Automobile Mechanic

The automobile mechanic was originally
a car owner who carried out his own repairs
during the turn of the 19th Century.
These days, it is a person who endeavours to fix
the car problems of the everyday motorist
he is part engineer, detective, and miracle worker
all rolled into one, when the motorist expects their car
virtually fixed at a moment's notice.
He is truly a modern day unsung hero to most
who keep their car in tip top condition
although the mechanic seldom gets
the credit that he or she rightly deserves.

De-Puzzlers

If lawyers get de-barred and clergymen de-frocked
Does it naturally follow and make sense
That electricians are de-lighted and cowboys de-ranged?
Need some answers, no sitting on the fence!

Can a motorist be de-fined, a balloon's mood de-flated
This silliness surely must stop
Do dead mailmen de-liver, are old ships de-ported
Better stop before I call a burly cop

Do musicians get de-noted, dry cleaners de-pressed?
Now hold on, I'm getting quite upset
Can models be de-posed, do tree surgeons de-bark?
Haven't heard any answers as yet

Do skirts get de-pleted, has your hair been de-parted?
This must be some kind of a plot
Artists quit by de-sign, symphonies de-compose?
I think about de's things a lot!


© Jack Ellison 2013

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