My lustful neighbour, Mildred, took a lodger
An old guy with one God-almighty todger
But the bulge he had down there
Was absorbant underwear
Can anybody house a homeless codger
He swallowed the little blue diamond
And that’s when his lady’s eyes widened
She bellowed her ire
That’s my best saphire
His ardour? Not harder nor hightened
A rare carpet was said made for flight
But its owner had terror of height
You would think he’d choose gain
But he focused on pain,
“If earth wasn’t so hard I just might.”
Brian Johnston
September 6, 2015
A Miss diagnosed tragic ailment,
Life strongly suggesting derailment,
Said, “Dis ease among men
Seems not all due to sin,
Let’s pray our death brings pain’s curtailment.”
Brian Johnston
August 22, 2015
There once was a hustler named Mable
Her mad skills at pool stuff of fable
Said, “It’s all up to you
But I’ll polish the cue
Of anyone clearing my table.”
Brian Johnston
August 15, 2015
Personal Tag
There’s a personal tag on my car
It’s a stand out in my repertoire
It suggests ‘HUG’M NOW,’
And it must be highbrow,
For the source was our friend NPR.
Brian Johnston
June 29, 2015
A new patron crawled into a bar,
Surprised all that he made it that far,
He said 'I really think,
I should have a quick drink,
Or no way I’ll get back to my car.'
A first internet date with a stranger,
Proved to be a flirtation with danger,
Said the girl to her shrink,
As her hand stroked her mink,
‘I guess I wasn't born in a manger!'
Brian Johnston
August 24, 2014
A beauteous Miss felt attraction,
And she loved her man Kane to distraction,
When friends questioned her love,
Well she gave them a dove,
Warned, ‘You all best stay clear of my action!
There once was a cute chick named Nora,
Who preferred to dress up in angora,
But her boyfriend got sick,
To her clothes allergic,
Now she won’t wear a thing but her aura.
A temptress whose first name was Ella,
Had her best snares set out for a fella,
He saw through her ruses
And not fond of bruises
Simply said, ‘You’re not my Cinderella’
There's no way to leave you and be me,
No where else I am longing to be,
The music that's playing
Is all about swaying
And there's no cause for fear I can see.
In moments when the twilight sparks
To gently flare as dark embarks,
Tender comes eve swinging a hum
While air-brushed clouds, on flight, succumb.
Yet, through the lull of sky, I hear
Their voices billow quite unclear
Whispering mildly, still I know
Those refrains from seasons ago.
Somehow, before the call of morn
When foggy mist glides on hawthorns,
And daybreak hails a new sunset
I trace past journeys now at rest.
Amidst the quiver of my dreams,
Beloved voices float midstream
On to pathways that bless each name;
Marked deeply in my soul, aflame.
Andrea Dietrich's Let's Get Technical Contest
~new poem~
Love,
You awoke me in Winter's playground,
2006,
Four wind-chapped cheeks brewing with embarrassment,
And twenty fraying fingernail beds.
Reece.
He kissed me under mistletoe
And I cried to my Mummy
When he couldn't find you like you found me.
It wasn't long before you fooled me again.
I thought I caught you, hiding in the pupils of the Devil,
Beneath the honey sheets of Sam's cotton trap,
Who wasn't so sweet in the daylight,
And beneath Saint Valentine's February sun,
Hiding in Jordan's words,
And at the bottom of a bottle,
Left on a beach for the world to see.
I was searching with my eyes closed,
Falling apart,
Falling into the arms of George.
Into your arms.
And at night we were more than naked,
We were transparent.
I could feel each rib again mine,
And see right into the core of his chest.
A pulsating brass mirror.
And you're still here, Love,
Knotting my exhausted veins,
Invading my every thought,
Outstaying your welcome.