My Santa sack was filled with poop
To many this news ain’t a scoop
I’ve perfected the art
How to write about fart
I've posted about them on soup
I’ll divulge about Aunty Mable
who eats sprouts whenever she’s able
she made some sprout soup -
a vile manky gloop
then farted at the dining table
She eats sprouts for breakfast and tea
Foul gas builds up copiously
Before she lets rip
She undoes her zip
Her flatulence is legendary
The stench of foul farts Uncle’s hating
Aunt Mable he’s daily berating
With the build-up of gas
that’s expelled from her a ss
their duvet’s always levitating
Inspired by a friend who is always bursting with blueberry goodness
01/08/22
Categories:
manky, 10th grade, humorous, wind,
Form: Limerick
Grouin up in Glesga wis nae mean feat
Pleyin in the back courts an dreepin the wass
Plouterin in puddles manky water sploshing aboot,
Searching in yon mucky middens fur treasure
Thrown oot by the families in the closes.
Fur a fitba a pile o rags weideh doon wi aw sorts o things
Or a tanner ba made tae test yer skills dribbling roon
Bricks, holes an buckets burnt through.
Some wi nae shin baries wis the thing
An naething caught except wee beasties in the hair.
Holy jumpers an maukit breeks like a uniform
Worn tae mark ye oot as livin in tenements raw.
Aye aww wis puir always skint fur buying scran
Except faither oan a Friday nicht at the boozers
Getting fu wi his pals forgettin the weans,
Crying at hame an when he came in mither
Wid aways get the blame .
Aye the weans o glesga wur a hardy breed,
All ways stervin an needin a feed,
That wisnae allus therr a feast wis a jeely piece.
When they grew an produced men o valour,
Or men o wealth an fauncy cars,
Ne,er forgot that they were a Glesga wean.
Categories:
manky, character, childhood, children, clothes,
Form: Dramatic Verse
Ted’s big toe is covered in fungus
It’s massive, in fact it’s humongus
He can’t fit in his shoes
and he sure gets the blues
as he cannot hang out among us
Ted began to feel very depressed
as barefoot he’s not suitably dressed
So I made him fur boots
From road kill bandicoots
his infection medics have assessed
The medic looked at Ted’s toenail
he pressed it, Ted let out a wail
but the doc didn’t scoff
when the toe nail dropped off
Ted fainted, his face was so pale
Two nurses scooped Ted off the floor
Then they escorted him out of the door
The swollen toe soon went down
And Ted went out on the town
(His manky nail's kept in a locked drawer)
Written in response to a comment was made on my recent POTD. May I suggest if folks don't like my poetry they don't bother to read it or make a comment.
8/4/18
Categories:
manky, body, growth, humorous,
Form: Limerick
My Doberman puppy's in trouble
He cocked his leg against our kitchen table
And I’d only just taken him for walkies
where he just sniffed at that manky mutt Mable
I’d let my Chester off his leash
so he could answer natures call
but not a piddle was to be seen
he preferred to be chasing a ball
So now he’s whining like a naughty child
In fact, he’s retreated onto my bed
I think he’s ashamed of his behaviour
as the sheet’s been pulled over his head!
Inspired by clip 2 using a lot of poetic licence!
Doberman Pinscher Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Edward Ibeh
7/31/18
Categories:
manky, dog, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
The forecast says, not a cloud in the sky,
Great prospects for spousal action today.
Since my sweetie likes a clean-shaven guy,
Better find my razor without delay!
The girl doesn’t like my scruffy kisser
When it scrapes her face it makes her cranky.
Elsewise, no razor. I wouldn’t miss it.
Don’t give a hoot if it’s a bit manky.
Don't fear, Chewbacca, it's not gonna hurt.
Mow the front lawn; it’s a big tangled fray.
Come on, Sasquatch, make a little effort.
No, it wouldn’t kill you to look okay.
Ah! Smooth, clean face makes hers a happy face.
Now shall we adjourn to our happy place?
3/22/16
Categories:
manky, care, humor, love, wife,
Form: Sonnet
Sue Hickey reminising
In the land of the Kiwi where the sun forgets 2 shine,
Sue had been cooking up some ole purple dyed cat mince,
Home staggered a boyfriend and a Drongo glassy eyed,
And hunger called a meeting, I’m convinced,
The cat mince was a cooling on the table,
tasty but unstable, It was a bit manky, im advised,
Not the sweet aroma of jolly aunt Ramona,
with the taste of unwashed toes,
but not 2 rotten I suppose,
the eggs sucker and the Drongo weren’t so wise?
So toast was made and mince got scoffed,
And cats were deprived until,
The Drongo heaved, and brought some back to try,
He was sucking from the bucket, till he got his bloody fill,
Twice eaten cat tucker and the red of purple dye,
But the cats were vengeful still,
When the Drongo finished swill,
They pounced upon him at his open fly,
They were chewing on his stoneys,
As he said softly moany,
Aunt Rita you’re a gift I can’t deny
Don Johnson
Apologys to the Aussie Drongo bird
Bad mouthing you say he is a Drongo or a Galah,
Both birds ….
Categories:
manky, adventure,
Form: Ballad
last night i had the strangest dream
i dreamt i was all manky
i had greasy hair and smelly feet
and bogies in my hanky
my ass was brown and pooey
my ears full of yellow stuff
my belly button stank cus
of all the fuzzy fluff
my eyes were black like pandas
my pants were brown and fishy
my armpits smelled like rotten eggs
and my farts were wet and squishy
i dreamed you called unexpectedly
you surprised me at the door
you looked aghast and took one whiff
and fainted on the floor
Categories:
manky, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,
Form: Light Verse