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My Gift To You

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My Santa sack was filled with poop To many this news ain’t a scoop I’ve perfected the art How to write about fart I've posted about them on soup I’ll divulge about Aunty Mable who eats sprouts whenever she’s able she made some sprout soup - a vile manky gloop then farted at the dining table She eats sprouts for breakfast and tea Foul gas builds up copiously Before she lets rip She undoes her zip Her flatulence is legendary The stench of foul farts Uncle’s hating Aunt Mable he’s daily berating With the build-up of gas that’s expelled from her a ss their duvet’s always levitating Inspired by a friend who is always bursting with blueberry goodness 01/08/22

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Paul Schneiter

Date: 2/22/2022 4:59:00 PM

Off-the-chart funny, Jan. I'm thankful there is no Mable at my table. (f there were, her diet I'd disable.) Hugs & Love, Paul

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 1/12/2022 3:22:00 PM

Hello Jan ... Aunt Mabel's foible will keep anyone with covid at bay so that must be a good thing Jan - Lindsay

Kenneth Cheney

Date: 1/10/2022 9:49:00 AM

A ripping good tale. Aunty Mable seems to me to be the stuff of legendary fable.

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 1/9/2022 11:43:00 PM

I think Aunt Mable needs to get a good lawyer. Snicker Snicker.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/10/2022 4:01:00 AM

lol xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 1/9/2022 12:05:00 PM

... Woow ... to burn off so much air ... must lubricate the "donut" with Aloe Vera bio gel :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 5:59:00 PM

thanks sweet Anne-Lise xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 1/9/2022 10:45:00 AM

I thought Heineken with boiled eggs and/or onions produced the foulest wind, but, all thanks to you, I now understand why the Heineken bottle is green! Aloha!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 5:59:00 PM

eww that sounds rank I agree about the eggs and onions lol

Mike Gentile

Date: 1/9/2022 7:59:00 AM

OMG, a levitating Duvet! Now that's imagery Jan xxoo

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 5:58:00 PM

thanks Mike xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 1/8/2022 11:04:00 PM

So it wasn't the northern lights I saw over the IOM lol Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 4:44:00 AM

lol I know they are visible from the Island, will save me a trip to Iceland lol:-) jan xx

John Watt

Date: 1/8/2022 10:23:00 PM

Jan, your flatulence poetry is legendary, and always good for an LOL or 3. How convenient that Soup rhymes with poop. Keep on expelling these fun fart fables. You will always have us holding our breath with anticipation. Hugs ~ John

Rico Leffanta
Date: 1/9/2022 10:43:00 AM

Perfect title for your American readers! Aloha!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 4:44:00 AM

having seen how many farty poems I've written, I'm thinking of calling my book, its a gas lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 1/8/2022 7:30:00 PM

And now I know 'How the Duvet Killed the Cat!' lol. ~ Word-Shark

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 4:43:00 AM

thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Jenna Logan

Date: 1/8/2022 5:12:00 PM

I’ll pass on the sprouts but not on your humor. Good write, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2022 5:20:00 PM

Thanks so much Jenna:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood

Date: 1/8/2022 4:53:00 PM

Ahhh… how I love sprouts. My favourite… hang on there’s a bloody breeze coming from somewhere… gotta go….. Nice to have you back Jan… Soup has been positively constipated without you ;-) Terry

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2022 5:09:00 PM

lol Terry we are still tucking into sprouts i got for 19p before Christmas, of course there are the side effects but we arer having a blast lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 1/8/2022 3:41:00 PM

Awesome fun here Jan!! These are awesome stanzas, oh wait I guess it’s four different limericks posted together. Lol

Jan Allison
Date: 1/9/2022 4:43:00 AM

Thanks Mark, looks like I need all the help I can get:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin
Date: 1/8/2022 4:38:00 PM

You just stick around kid, under my expert tutelage you might learn the difference some day!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2022 3:51:00 PM

Thanks Mark, it looks like I've still got a lot to learn :-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh

Date: 1/8/2022 3:17:00 PM

Your sack of Limericks just gets bigger and better Jan, you have taking them to a whole new level of levitation, brilliant cheers David

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2022 3:22:00 PM

thanks David, I seem to have an unhealthy interest in farty poems lol, been reading over some of my limericks and the majority seem to be about wind, but I am having a blast lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Marshall Iftekhar Ahmed

Date: 1/8/2022 3:16:00 PM

Nice technique on the a;; word! A really enjoyable poem! Stanza's are almost like limerick form. Strong rhyme structure. Thanks - Marshall

Marshall Iftekhar Ahmed
Date: 1/8/2022 3:50:00 PM

Really Sorry, these are true limericks! Sorry again. Thanks.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2022 3:21:00 PM

thanks for the feedback :-)