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My Gift To You

My Santa sack was filled with poop
To many this news ain’t a scoop
I’ve perfected the art
How to write about fart 
I've posted about them on soup

I’ll divulge about Aunty Mable
who eats sprouts whenever she’s able
she made some sprout soup -
a vile manky gloop
then farted at the dining table

She eats sprouts for breakfast and tea
Foul gas builds up copiously
Before she lets rip
She undoes her zip
Her flatulence is legendary

The stench of foul farts Uncle’s hating
Aunt Mable he’s daily berating
With the build-up of gas
that’s expelled from her a ss
their duvet’s always levitating

Inspired by a friend who is always bursting with blueberry goodness

01/08/22

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2022

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Paul Schneiter Date: 2/22/2022 4:59:00 PM Off-the-chart funny, Jan. I'm thankful there is no Mable at my table. (f there were, her diet I'd disable.) Hugs & Love, Paul Login to Reply

Lindsay Laurie Date: 1/12/2022 3:22:00 PM Hello Jan ... Aunt Mabel's foible will keep anyone with covid at bay so that must be a good thing Jan - Lindsay Login to Reply

Kenneth Cheney Date: 1/10/2022 9:49:00 AM A ripping good tale. Aunty Mable seems to me to be the stuff of legendary fable. Login to Reply

Caren Krutsinger Date: 1/9/2022 11:43:00 PM I think Aunt Mable needs to get a good lawyer. Snicker Snicker. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/10/2022 4:01:00 AM lol xx

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 1/9/2022 12:05:00 PM ... Woow ... to burn off so much air ... must lubricate the "donut" with Aloe Vera bio gel :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 5:59:00 PM thanks sweet Anne-Lise xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 1/9/2022 10:45:00 AM I thought Heineken with boiled eggs and/or onions produced the foulest wind, but, all thanks to you, I now understand why the Heineken bottle is green! Aloha! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 5:59:00 PM eww that sounds rank I agree about the eggs and onions lol

Mike Gentile Date: 1/9/2022 7:59:00 AM OMG, a levitating Duvet! Now that's imagery Jan xxoo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 5:58:00 PM thanks Mike xx

Tom Cunningham Date: 1/8/2022 11:04:00 PM So it wasn't the northern lights I saw over the IOM lol Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 4:44:00 AM lol I know they are visible from the Island, will save me a trip to Iceland lol:-) jan xx

John Watt Date: 1/8/2022 10:23:00 PM Jan, your flatulence poetry is legendary, and always good for an LOL or 3. How convenient that Soup rhymes with poop. Keep on expelling these fun fart fables. You will always have us holding our breath with anticipation. Hugs ~ John Login to Reply Rico Leffanta Date: 1/9/2022 10:43:00 AM Perfect title for your American readers! Aloha! Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 4:44:00 AM having seen how many farty poems I've written, I'm thinking of calling my book, its a gas lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 1/8/2022 7:30:00 PM And now I know 'How the Duvet Killed the Cat!' lol. ~ Word-Shark Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 4:43:00 AM thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Jenna Logan Date: 1/8/2022 5:12:00 PM I’ll pass on the sprouts but not on your humor. Good write, Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/8/2022 5:20:00 PM Thanks so much Jenna:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood Date: 1/8/2022 4:53:00 PM Ahhh… how I love sprouts. My favourite… hang on there’s a bloody breeze coming from somewhere… gotta go….. Nice to have you back Jan… Soup has been positively constipated without you ;-) Terry Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/8/2022 5:09:00 PM lol Terry we are still tucking into sprouts i got for 19p before Christmas, of course there are the side effects but we arer having a blast lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin Date: 1/8/2022 3:41:00 PM Awesome fun here Jan!! These are awesome stanzas, oh wait I guess it’s four different limericks posted together. Lol Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/9/2022 4:43:00 AM Thanks Mark, looks like I need all the help I can get:-) hugs Jan xx Mark Koplin Date: 1/8/2022 4:38:00 PM You just stick around kid, under my expert tutelage you might learn the difference some day! Jan Allison Date: 1/8/2022 3:51:00 PM Thanks Mark, it looks like I've still got a lot to learn :-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh Date: 1/8/2022 3:17:00 PM Your sack of Limericks just gets bigger and better Jan, you have taking them to a whole new level of levitation, brilliant cheers David Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/8/2022 3:22:00 PM thanks David, I seem to have an unhealthy interest in farty poems lol, been reading over some of my limericks and the majority seem to be about wind, but I am having a blast lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Marshall Iftekhar Ahmed Date: 1/8/2022 3:16:00 PM Nice technique on the a;; word! A really enjoyable poem! Stanza's are almost like limerick form. Strong rhyme structure. Thanks - Marshall Login to Reply Marshall Iftekhar Ahmed Date: 1/8/2022 3:50:00 PM Really Sorry, these are true limericks! Sorry again. Thanks. Jan Allison Date: 1/8/2022 3:21:00 PM thanks for the feedback :-)