.
there'z thuh way to
say it
without the
offend
therefore
i leave it to mine
astute indulgerz uv
mine thinks
yet my spillz
this way
fluuhp
fluhp
'pon mine torso'z
peks
her Maine Coon pawz
fluuhp
fluhp
fluuhp
fluhp
"b!tch
get this cat
off uv me"
*"b!tch" iz my bullmastiff
thuh "Coon" be eve'z
Categories:
maine coon, allegory, allusion, angst, writing,
Form: Dramatic Verse
You should check out the cat and bird library, the old man told us.
We thought he was a bit wacked, because he was an ornery cuss.
And he liked to torment and tease. Life to him was kind of a joke.
The library in the forest was amazing, hidden in a giant oak.
The cats were reading, and the birds were tweeting and trilling.
You must read this one! Said a Maine coon. The ending is thrilling!
I tried to get up in the tree, but I kept falling out on my bum.
So, I gave up, but they let me check out a book about little Tom Thumb.
Categories:
maine coon, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form: Rhyme
Maine Coon Cat
stands at dining table
checking my plate
Categories:
maine coon, animal, cat,
Form: Haiku
There is a new sheriff in town and he’s a Maine Coon of course.
We had tried a duck, a fish, a llama, a cobra, a spider and a horse.
We watched the Maine Coon strut up and down showing off his star.
He was spitting tobacco, and it landed way off, very far.
The Maine Coons make the best sheriffs in this high noon town.
They never put up with any shenanigans up, low or down.
We saw that this one looked as slick and as wise as the other one.
The sheriff who ended up dead from a mean outlaw’s gun.
Categories:
maine coon, 1st grade, 5th grade,
Form: Rhyme
A bulldog, spaniel and terrier played a game of pool.
Relieving me of my money and kibble. I felt like a fool.
They saw my T-bone and started to be salivating a drool.
I offered to trade them for the kibble, trick kind of cruel.
The T-bone had been enchanted by a devilish ghoul.
Never trust a Maine coon cat is a very good dog rule.
Categories:
maine coon, cat, dog, humorous,
Form: Monorhyme
It was a normal Tuesday in Kansas until a quarter to two
A Bengal cat came down on my head, it had big eyes of blue.
A British shorthair came flying by and landed on my knee.
Then a Sphynx and a Ragdoll. What was happening to me?
I looked up into the sky, and guess what I saw, my friend?
It was raining cats today, and it looked like they would never end.
An American Bobtail came down hard and fast. Landed on my foot.
Were they all determined to land on me? Next one as black as soot!
A Maine Coon was trying to stop herself, she landed in a tree.
I had to get a ladder to help her, and she ended up biting me!
An Abyssinian told me off, and a Persian gave me a scratch.
There were five hundred in all, and I was simply not a match.
I called the animal shelter, the fire department and 911.
They thought it was hilarious, came running to look at all this fun.
Sure it is humorous, I said but how many will I have to fix?
The news stations came and filmed it; we were on the news at six.
Categories:
maine coon, 1st grade, 2nd grade,
Form: Rhyme
You have the hysterical look of mutes
that roar through narrow straws.
I see in your yellow eyes – a Jules Verne winking moon.
Soon that ribbed pink cave will release
another flock of demented coots
hacked from the craw of an ancient macaw.
Soon the whip of your vocal squawks
will pluck my eyes from their trembling stalks.
Maine Coon, part Persian, part whiskery herring,
grimalkin mouser,
I love you not when you sing.
Verne goes to the movies, a flickering French theater
of painted malarkey, where mice threaten to Can-Can.
Buck Rodgers shoots rays of hyperbolic sound
from the open nozzle of your mouth.
Categories:
maine coon, poetry,
Form: Blank verse
For my sister, Sami, because this morning one of our four Maine Coons suddenly and unexpectedly died...
Haughty snobbish tomcat
tap water trample cat
never inside brat
inferiority complexity
acrobat
My Maine man
My Coon, I didn't expect
you'd go so soon
***
June 3, 2017
Copyright © Darren White
Categories:
maine coon, animal, cat, grief, loss,
Form: Free verse
I miss dear Kizzie every day.
In dreams I see his beautiful face.
Pets go to heaven,this I pray.
Such a wonderful kitty I couldn't replace.
Always I called him my gentle giant.
A beautiful gray and silky Maine Coon.
Precious and sweet,not ever defiant.
Now he dwells up beyond the moon.
Heaven is lucky to have such a baby.
Now Kizzie's romping and playing again.
That he's well again there's no maybe.
He's free from all his earthly pain.
I adored this kitty like no other.
His personality was so dear.
So happy I was his human mother.
I'd give anything to have him still here.
written October24th 2013
Categories:
maine coon, beautiful, cat, missing you,
Form: Rhyme
At Hemmingway's cottage by the sea
His six-toed Maine Coon Cat played with me
He spun and jumped and chased some string
The joy I felt made me sing
(This is just fantasy. Sara)
Categories:
maine coon, animals, fantasy, funny
Form: I do not know?
In a wooden cottage
Beside the sea
The voice of Hemmingway is calling me
Come and join the six toed cats
Gathering in my comfy lap
They'll be taking their evening nap
This is all I have of this
So I guess its time to quit
(In no way would I disrespect Hemmingway or his writings. This is just something that is
whimiscal from the fact that the Maine Coon Cats with the polydactyl trait still live at his
home in Key West.)
Categories:
maine coon, people, pets, places, sea
Form: I do not know?
Once I had an orange and white striped kitty
Who looked like a butterscotch candy
She was a Maine Coon
And made my heart swoon
I saw her born a kitten baby
And fell in love instantly
Small and delicate for her size
But was a lovable little prize
Her fur was so soft and fluffy
And she loved being stroked by me
Always knowing treats were in store,
She'd come running to meet me at the door
Crumpled paper was her favorite toy
Fetching with me she did so enjoy
She used to sit upon my head
To wake me up out of bed
Kissing me on my brow
Saying mom, get up right now
She went to spayed one year ago
But little did I know,
That she was too fragile for the surgery
And would end up an angel for eternity
I had her for five precious years
And still I cry many tears
Dedicated to my Butterscotch cat that died one year ago after having surgery to be spayed.
I miss you so much my precious angel. Mommy
Categories:
maine coon, petsme, me,
Form: ABC
It's with the grin of Cheshire
I roll out tongues of glee
and tell the tale of Super Twerp
the Maine Coon wannabe
He is the kind of cat who smiles
at every bag of treats
and growls like baby thunder
when another cat he meets
His owner is Snappy Pappy
who is similar in kind
He chews his Double Bubble gum
and keeps me on his mind
They both respond to sweetness
when it's spoken in my tone
and they both are king of nap times
as they've both so aptly shown
Both will snore and sniffle
Twerp is big and fat
Pappy Snap's a cuddler
and adores his Maine Coon cat
Both of them are called "my men"
It's been ten years gone by
Super Twerp and Snappy Paps -
a kitten and his guy.
Categories:
maine coon, animals, happiness, life, people,
Form: Rhyme