Some call him lazy and his wife calls him a jerk.
His wife is very angry because he will not work.
He won't get a job even though he's an able-bodied man.
Her husband refuses to get a job even though he can.
His wife is getting sick and tired of having to support him and their four kids.
She'd like to auction him off on ebay and she doesn't care how low people would bid.
He says that he can't work even though he has no disability.
His wife would get a divorce but she'd have to pay alimony.
She struggles to support her family and doesn't know where to turn.
An extra paycheck would come in handy but the bum will never learn.
He likes to sit on his ass and watch TV all day long while drinking his beer.
If the slob could be paid for that, he would earn a million bucks every year.
When everything is said and done,
His wife is looking to buy a shotgun.
When he continues to refuse to get a job, his wife does not know what to do.
If you're a woman who will take him off her hands, she will be indebted to you.
A trip to Wales
I was driving among hillocks; the landscape was green
it was spring and sheep-dipped in coal dust, grazed
with their offspring
Parked near a pub in a hamlet, it had a name
I could not get my tongue around it and enter
into a dark interior.
The few customers ignored me yet eyed me
perhaps they thought I was English looking to buy a cottage.
I drank powder coffee in a sea of Welshness
my foreignness disturbed me
and the locals.
I left.
there’s nothing in my head.
there’s nothing in my head.
why don’t i care about the right things,
and leave every word unsaid?
i wear rose tinted glasses,
carry petals in a basket.
looking to buy a tiny house,
but settling for a casket.
there’s nothing in my head.
there’s nothing in my head.
my eyes are opened
but my mind is dead.
A Terrific Christmas Present
By Elton Camp
A toy assault rifle is just simply the best
Parental approval of killing is expressed
There’s one purpose for this type gun
If the user thinks murder of people is fun
For hunting this weapon can’t be used
As if for self-defense it can’t be excused
Did the Founding Fathers have this in view
When the Second Amendment came through?
So if a Christmas present one is looking to buy
Then why not give a toy assault weapon a try?
To kill large numbers the kid can pretend
He may end up doing it for real in the end
The Prince of Peace Jesus Christ may be
But times are different now you see
The principle of “Thou shalt not kill”
Replaced by “I’ll do whatever I will”
Elixir is elusive,
Imagine the crystalline, transparent and clear elixir,
Nowhere to be found,
It can do something that rejuvenates cells,
Deep inside,
Probably it has chat mode,
With weakened protoplasm,
And nourishes it in some way,
Such rejuvenated cells could at least makes you live,
Longer than anybody else,
While dying they would call you immortal,
Yes, where is that miracle liquid?
I wish you had some stock of it,
So that I could live longer,
Let me stop here and think,
Is my present longevity less,
Is it not better that I get a new body apparatus,
Do I want to continue with jaded circumstances?
Am I not looking for new?
Thinking hard,
I discover that elixir is within me,
I had my stock,
Now that I have depleted it,
I am looking to buy more on the block.
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