In my journey through life through thick and thin of virtue and sin
it strikes me on the day of my many thoughts, not when life is merry but when it is grim .
That from now till the here on after these words are forever haunting with the sorrow they bring.
Some go on never knowing these words many can't help but just sit and watch the pendulum swing.
I've seen the lonlieness in the Devil's eyes and the beauty of the Angel's wings,
but Of all sad words of tounge or pen .
The saddest stories I've ever written are those of what could have been.
My life at the moment is hard
And im finding it hard to cope,
Its like im abseiling
But freely with no rope.
No excitment, no thrill
Just pain and hurt,
Im falling, crashing, falling
Face down in the dirt.
My battered broken body
Lays there in a heap,
I know where i need to be
"But im not strong enough" I weep.
My lonlieness consumes me then
And i curl up and cry,
Seems as though the battles lost
I just want to give up and die.
I cant be like them i thought
Im not strong enough to stand,
I'll lay here and wallow
Bury my head in the sand.
Something ignites in me..
I feel the strenghth to fight,
Im gonna get out of here...
Im leaving here tonight!
I claw my way out of despair
Away from this gloomy pit,
And i see something
A pathway clearly lit.
And the second i saw that light
I knew it was for me,
Sheer courage and strength just poured out
As that light guided me.
She sits alone within the hall
Close to the fire keeping her warm
Silken dress worn threadbare
Watching fire sprites dance and flare.
Dreaming of someone in her heart
Lonlieness pierces like a dart
Within candle light glow
Her tears not to show.
From her bedchamber she creeps
Hoping not to fall on worn steps
There at her door he stood
A knight come calling carrying mead.
He came from lands wet and bleak
Where North Wind looks to seek
Cracks and gaps in castle wall
Come to find her at Haddon Hall.
Her fame was spread throughout the land
And he saddled his horse and stravaiged far
Till at last on this dark,cold night
He found his way to Haddon Hall.
They talked and chatted long into the night
Till dawn came through clear and bright
Her head it jerked and she awoke
Sitting by the fire in Haddon Hall.
© andrew provan mcintyre 21/5/2015.
She lay there weeping, pouring her heart out. "Nothing ever goes my way, Not tommorrow, not today. I am in a world where I am not loved. I don't even love myself. I can't get anyone to listen. But listen... It's too much, Can't you see that I'm hurting, these tears spurting right through my eyes. Why? Why does this happen, and only happen to me? Please hear my plee. I'm going through a lot. The thought... well no wait.. I thought you cared. Oh my gosh! This is exactly what I feared. Lonlieness. I can't do this, where can I find hope and bliss. Love to dismiss.. the.. It doesn't matter does it? Happiness? Oh that doesn't exist. I'm hated, you could have waited... Right? It is all your fault, I have no faults. I did nothing, Your the blame, damsel? I'm in distress, yes because I can't count on nobody. Not even you, I should though. whoa.. overeacting.. I never do that. You know what? Forget it, I'll be fine, just go. Let me suffer although, when you needed.. I was there.." and just like that I fell victim to a victim.
The silky
Loneliness
Haunts,
Without
Hidden waves
Of emptiness.
Writhing lifeless,
Without existence.
The outside of my soul shines bright,
But inside the light is dimmed by,
All the pain and sorrow in my heart,
Lonlieness and hurt linger in my head,
You don't know how I feel, no one does,
I feel disgusted with myself,
I don't know why? I am trying to deny.
But it hurts inside, I am not made of stone,
I feel there's always someone looking over my shoulder,
Not letting me be content and happy in my head,
I'm not depressed,
I'm not sad,
Just not happy.
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