Long Woebegone Poems

Galore of buzzfeeding, needling and scamming female hustlers...

with a scheming, loving, and enticing guise
alive and well seeking gullible guys
(once upon a time just like me),
who experiences close encounters
of masterly baited entrapment
on Facebook Messenger
and most likely...

Read More

Food glorious food

Asia generic guy gastronomy (and how gourmet foods eat destructively clearly beyond any) excess enthusiasm, the necessity to feed and clothe this lean mean exercising machine gunning corporeal essence christened Matthew Scott Harris...

Read More

The emotional, mental and spiritual fallout courtesy Colt Gray

Apalachee High School,
located in Winder, Georgia
witnessed an active shooter,
whereby the alleged lone gunman
(actually just a teenager of fourteen years)
killed four people and injured nine more
the latter hospitalized with...

Read More

This revolutionary message
is brought to you by
the 
TransMillennial EarthTribe CoOperative,
your international ecopolitical sponsor,
speciating Earth's New PostMillennially Silent EcoLogical Majority.

We think we begin to both comprehend,
in a B. Fullerian metaphysical sense,
and co-empathically trust,
in an economic and...

Read More

(Somewhere in late 18th-century Europe a friend, Laetitia, by way of a letter warns her beloved girlfriend, Euphoria--a young, gay and unsuspecting mistress--against the almost inevitable seductions of the infamous and maundering philanderer, Melancholia.).



Dear Euphoria,

...

Read More

With these lines I’ll relate an intriguing tale of dubious accuracy
For I Hope to unveil sordid affairs of more than one conspiracy!
Be warned, that though you might be disturbed by the facts I relate?
They are...

Read More

Long in the tooth male doth recount, reflect, reimagine...
his woebegone damn dental daze today May 5th, 2021 

No particular rhyme nor reason
garden variety indentured flunky (me)
revisits his salmagundi salad days, 
when oral blight smote 
left...

Read More

Raid versus woe

Black flag(s) show up
on social media platforms
when potential homicidal maniac(s)
communicate(s) intent to strike
with ambush and ready
read - able, eager, and willing
to embark upon murderous rampage.

Prospective killer armed to the teeth
usually a young bucking...

Read More

An Excelente Balade of Charitie (“An Excellent Ballad of Charity”)
by Thomas Chatterton, age 17
modernization/translation by Michael R. Burch

As wroten bie the goode Prieste
Thomas Rowley 1464

In Virgynë the swelt'ring sun grew keen,
Then hot upon the meadows...

Read More

The remnants of August 2024 Hurricane Debbie

Like a humane huntress, she
(the anthropomorphized storm)
brought a spate of cool Autumn like
temperatures and gentle soothing rain
here within my neck of the woods
for the last couple of days.

No matter...

Read More

Overrun by stuffed subdued teddy bears...

of diverse and sundry sizes engaged 
in woebegone wild rumpus
as a last hoorah 
for diversity, equity and inclusion,
whose somber bowed heads
(hide their snickers
just a kiss away)
their backsides mimicked 
tufted heavenly...

Read More

Norwegian bachelor farmer days I never lived

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to pledging troth,
and tying Gordian knot
to strangulation point,
never fending for myself,
nor...

Read More

Doomsday Clock minute hand...

hovers over 100 seconds to midnight 
as of January 2022, 
which apocalyptic prognostication
established by the Bulletin 
of Atomic Scientists
maintained since 1947, 
the clock quantifies a metaphor 
for threats to humanity 
from unchecked...

Read More

Ongepatshket torqued skewed reflection

drawn courtesy lots of byte size chalk.

When e'er I summon fat chance
to empower me self with courage 
and steal a passing glance
in the mirror then instantaneously 
hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long 
snap,...

Read More

Loving my refurbished fifteen inch mid 2015 Macbook Pro

A lightning fast machine
purchased three days ago
now comfortably nestling with
said technological wonder,
where outside a cold wind howls
measuring windchill factor of five below
allowing, enabling and providing me
an opportunity...

Read More

Impossible mission for systematization to be wrung out of entropy

Which lame excuse I exclaimed,
when my dear old mom asked
rather told me in her scolding voice
to tidy up my bedroom,
cuz this son of a gun
intuited neatening...

Read More

Creative cerebral craftiness coaxes...

Childhood campy chimera curtain call
subsequently hinting (based on accuweather)
the approach of blizzard squall
so burrow under quilted cover y'all
until warm temperatures arrive when springtime
ushers social media platforms 
buzzfeeding earthlinked instant karma 
jump/kickstarting linkedin...

Read More

Goodbye and good riddance 2023

Commencement writing this poem
began December 31st: 2:24 PM
ended December 31st: 03:53 PM.

The best geriatric effort I apply
twittering, ushering, and 
albeit wheezing Auld Lang Syne
crocodile done deed tear 
will yours truly cry
bidding,...

Read More

Across figurative and literal blackened white board...

Where death of democracy writ large,
nevertheless psychological strength predominates
unlike earlier chapters of mein kampf.

Mine hardscrabble existential debacle 
spelled losing game
swept me up in malevolent mindset 
far adrift from harbored...

Read More

Ordinary married sexagenarian mortal fêted as savior incarnate...

Courtesy a plethora of marriageable females
dogging, hounding, and lowing the living daylights
forcing yours truly to go undercover and into hiding 
within the heart of darkness
at a remote undisclosed...

Read More

Upon exiting the womb...

23,190 days ago,

Yours truly got hashtagged
as the 2,975,075,410TH
person alive on Earth
according to website
https://worldpopulationhistory.org/
my-population-number/.

Come November 15, 2022
(a little more than
four months from now -
actually one hundred twenty days
after today July 11, 2022),
the world's...

Read More

Damn them computer hackers...
nothing but persistent 
pesky sniveling, snot nosed 
beastie boy buggers.

Data breach conundrum with Gmail rectified...
courtesy MacKeeper computer technicians
in tandem with the geek inside me,
who finally resolved elusive quandary
that befuddled and frustrated yours...

Read More

Voyage to the bottom of this... 
prevaricated forth write Declaration!

As most every girl and boy
taught back in the day,
learning base sic life lessons, 
when going to Zerns,
now permanently closed, 
but once upon a time one...

Read More

Ability to defecate wildly swings (both ways)...
between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in...

Read More

Acid reflux ~ very early morning March 3rd, 2024

Ah... nothing more enjoyable
than acidic gastric fluid (bile)
flowing backward into esophagus,
resulting in heartburn, meanwhile
disrupting pleasant dreams,
which phenomena also known as 
gastroesophageal reflux (GER)
found me discombobulated 
and swiftly...

Read More